Women 30+ how do you meet guys to date?

[Eternal Sunshine]

And I must stress that I don't mean OLD/tinder or similar.

 

I just don't meet any single guys. I have friends from work that are married/seriously coupled and I socialize with them but they hang out at each other's houses. I kept hoping they will eventually bring a single friend or something but it hasn't happened.

 

In the last 8 months, I met a total of 2 single guys. One from work that I went on a few dates with and then it went nowhere. The other guy was his friend who I wasn't attracted to.

 

If I meet 2 single guys per year how the hell am I ever supposed to find anyone I click with? This seems to be about consistent with pretty much every year since I turned 30. This is across 2 different cities too. It just depresses me that I never catch a break of meeting someone naturally.

 

I meet plenty of guys I click with that are not single and I feel really depressed at how easier my life would be if they were.

 

I can't help but think that time has passed me by and in mid-20s when there were still plenty of options, I focused on school and career.

 

Singles 30-40, especially women: how many age appropriate single men do you meet in a given year? (without OLD).

[nofeelings22]

And I must stress that I don't mean OLD/tinder or similar.

 

I just don't meet any single guys. I have friends from work that are married/seriously coupled and I socialize with them but they hang out at each other's houses. I kept hoping they will eventually bring a single friend or something but it hasn't happened.

 

In the last 8 months, I met a total of 2 single guys. One from work that I went on a few dates with and then it went nowhere. The other guy was his friend who I wasn't attracted to.

 

If I meet 2 single guys per year how the hell am I ever supposed to find anyone I click with? This seems to be about consistent with pretty much every year since I turned 30. This is across 2 different cities too. It just depresses me that I never catch a break of meeting someone naturally.

 

I meet plenty of guys I click with that are not single and I feel really depressed at how easier my life would be if they were.

 

I can't help but think that time has passed me by and in mid-20s when there were still plenty of options, I focused on school and career.

 

Singles 30-40, especially women: how many age appropriate single men do you meet in a given year? (without OLD).

 

This is a very good question. I have the same problem. All I meet, as a guy, are women in their early 20's.

 

Where do you 30+ single women hang out? Maybe if us over 30 guys knew we could find you.

 

30-40 singles seem to have the hardest time of all meeting. There are NONE out there. Plenty of early 20's,plenty of baby boomers. No GenX and Y.

 

I'm facing the same problem but have just been making do with the younger girls since the age appropriate ones,in my experience, are:

 

1) Overweight

2) Married

3) Just not around at all

[PegNosePete]

Well I'm not a woman but I can tell you the best place I know for meeting single guys...

 

The Ramblers group that I am in, (20's and 30's group) is mostly single people. It's not a "singles" group as such so there's no pressure or expectations, but for some reason it attracts mostly single people and has approx 50/50 M/F ratio. It's very easy to strike up conversation since you have a common interest and you can easily talk about how long you've been walking, nice places you've been, etc. I would say that is the best place I know of, to meet people.

[Diezel]

Hopefully this thread can inform me, because OLD is a total crapshoot, and I'm having so much trouble finding a place with single women who are receptive to talking to a single man.

 

Just recently went to a Christmas party and there was just 1 single woman and about 7 guys were all competing for her.

 

If I ever do find single women, they are usually running in packs and protecting the herd.

[Toodaloo]

I meet men all over the place. Was chatted up by a very nice Scot last night while ice skating but dofus me didn't realize he was hitting on me... He was lovely.

 

I meet men while walking, I meet men while shopping, I meet men filling up my car, I meet men at yoga, I meet men at all the crazy things I go and do and try out.

 

Some are "eligible", some are seriously not but its still good for the ego to have a gang of 20 yr old hotties all vying for your attention

 

My advice is go out, do things, talk to people, laugh and joke with them. Enjoy meeting people of all ages and genres. At the very least its fun!

 

My problem is that I can talk to all and sundry but never actually notice that they are interested until its too late. Last nights chap I didn't know until after I had left as he had said to the other girl I was with that I was very pretty and he wanted to know if I was on the pull... at age 16 she dissolved into a fit of giggles at the time so he may have been more lucky if he had asked me instead Then I could of told him that up to 5 seconds ago I wasn't but (as he had a lovely bottom, great teeth and was kind enough to help me then..) I absolutely was as of that minute!! I thought he was just being nice and had a wife at home... She told me as we were driving home as she was still giggling that "the oldie" has still got it

 

I have far more luck meeting people in real life than on line. I also enjoy it more too!

[SawtoothMars]

And I must stress that I don't mean OLD/tinder or similar.

 

I just don't meet any single guys. I have friends from work that are married/seriously coupled and I socialize with them but they hang out at each other's houses. I kept hoping they will eventually bring a single friend or something but it hasn't happened.

 

With those lovely locks... I think you could get men by the dozens at a bingo parlor!

 

Beyond that... I would bet money you live in a large city. If I lived in California again I would NEVER marry. It's like a tsunami of pretty and desperate women fighting over the same clowns.

[isisisweeping]

I do marathons, ultramarathons, triathlons, and adventure races.

There are a lot of 30s, 40's, and older single men participating in those.

 

I still have pretty good luck meeting about life and through friends, though I am just in my 30's.

[1980alence]

Hi,

 

I'm a 33 y/o male, and I've met women in their 30's at the following places:

 

-Swing/Line Dancing Lessons

-volunteer groups (multiple)

-church and church activities (Look up Unitarian Universalists )

-match

-walking on the street near my house

-work

-house parties (my fav - extended network, you often have mutual friends in this situation, relaxed atmosphere)

-having friends play matchmaker

 

 

I hope this helps. Good luck! We really are out there, and we're looking too. Bars, clubs, OLD, etc are horrible places to meet us, and decent guys don't even try there b/c that's playa/hookup turf.

 

Good luck!

 

*Edit - I know you're looking to meet MEN - I was more thinking about telling you were I have gone to meet women, not where you can go to meet women

Edited December 10, 2014 by 1980alence

[Lokin4AReason]

depends on what you are looking for .... i am a guy in my 30s and i try to meet well rounded individual(s) ( as in personalities ) as in hobbies that i am interested in .... any group(s) or event(s) that happen year round; like festivals, animal festivals ( like all kinds of animals ), church outings, etc ... ???? the bar scene does get old and its has not been my thing for some years now .... just have to find other avenues in breaking the ice and meeting new people IMO

[spanishchick00]

It's tough! I haven't met a single guy in real life, not even through work, friends, mutual friends, gym, etc, etc. And the only guys that are interested are 50 year old guys- which I don't even like. Sad that I have to use dating sites.

[Frank2thepoint]

If I meet 2 single guys per year how the hell am I ever supposed to find anyone I click with? This seems to be about consistent with pretty much every year since I turned 30. This is across 2 different cities too. It just depresses me that I never catch a break of meeting someone naturally.

 

You mentioned across two different cities, and that you want it to happen naturally. I remember from your older posts, earlier this year, that you weren't emotionally available for a relationship (or something along those lines). Not sure where you are emotionally at the moment, but maybe you are exuding some negative energy that many men probably pick up on, therefore avoid anything happening naturally. What are you doing normally when you interact with men? Are you closed off? Do you interact back with the men, ask them questions, not just superficial, but more personal questions?

 

 

Singles 30-40, especially women: how many age appropriate single men do you meet in a given year? (without OLD).

 

I've noticed so far you've receive more input from single men, then single women. By my observation, single women in the 30s are in the small amount. But to give my input as well, for the hell of it, as a 35 year old man, it is quite hard to find women in my age group, because most are in LTR, including marriage. The few that are in my age group and single, have been traumatized by a recent relationship ending, or they have no idea what they want and play push-pull games to boost their egos.

[Emilia]

Social circle. When I put an effort into widening my circle, I meet new people too including single men.

[nofeelings22]

 

 

I've noticed so far you've receive more input from single men, then single women. By my observation, single women in the 30s are in the small amount. But to give my input as well, for the hell of it, as a 35 year old man, it is quite hard to find women in my age group, because most are in LTR, including marriage. The few that are in my age group and single, have been traumatized by a recent relationship ending, or they have no idea what they want and play push-pull games to boost their egos.

 

Same city as you, plus FL in the winter and I find the same thing.

 

I think demographics play quite a role as well. There are simply far fewer people in the 30-40 age range than there are in the boomer or Millennial age range. We are the skipped, oddball generation. Not many of us to begin with and it does seem like they are all married or LTR, as I had also been.

[1980alence]

As a 33 y/o, I was just in a fairly good relationship with a 40 y/o. It ended for personality reasons, not age difference reasons. I understand people want to date close to their age, but once you hit 28-30 I feel like it matters less and less (and I know many agree). I never did understand her seinfeld addiction, though.

[d0nnivain]

When I was dating over 30 I met men in the following ways:

 

 

• OLD
  
• through introductions from friends
  
• in bars (local places where you can actually talk not clubs)
  
• through business -- my company enabled me to interact with peers in other companies
  
• volunteering for the political party of my choosing (N.B. I did more than just answer phones & stuff envelopes. I went to fundraisers, I helped with campaign speeches, I attended a National Presidential Convention)
  
• walking my dog & attending a singles group called Leashes & Lovers where he could come too. I had a Dalmatian (duh . . . look at my avatar) while most women had little dogs so I stood out
  
• networking for business through the Chamber of Commerce & similar organizations. Oftentimes I'd meet a great woman who had a male friend or a son
  
• at my high school homecoming game; I reconnected with a newly divorced guy who had been 2 years ahead of me in school
  
• at a MeetUp singles group that organized board game nights. You learn a lot about someone by playing a game with them
  
• working with charities like the Knights of Columbus (dad was a member) and the Elks
  

Part of it is keeping your eyes open & smiling. Be willing to say something witty & pithy to break the ice.

[angel.eyes]

Basically via my activities (so my social circle) and from guys who cold approach me as I go about my business. My social circle activities include church, sports I play, alumni events, my hiking, biking, and kayaking clubs, dinner parties at friends' houses, galas, fundraisers, political events, etc. I don't date men I work with or might work with at some point.

 

In terms of cold approaches, I'm approached in stores/malls, the parking garage, library, on planes, in hotels, just walking down the street, a minor car accident...you name it, guys don't seem to care much whether it seems appropriate.

 

I probably meet at least ten or fifteen entirely new men through my social circle every week...but bear in mind that many are married, the wrong age, etc. I don't really think about cold approaches unless I'm with friends because they'll comment on the sheer frequency.

 

I personally love OLD! It's a really efficient way to meet singles who are the right age, are a great fit for me, and who want the same things I do (including a serious relationship). I tried speed dating a couple of times and the guys I ended up dating turned out to be total duds after a date or two. So for me, that was a total waste of my time. I've never used bars or clubs/lounges to meet guys because I'm highly unlikely to find the type of men I seek there.

 

If it helps, I think guys tend to approach when you seem easygoing, warm, and friendly.

[clia]

Singles 30-40, especially women: how many age appropriate single men do you meet in a given year? (without OLD).

 

When I go out with my girlfriends, we meet age appropriate single guys every time we go out. We typically go to dinner somewhere and then to a lounge or bar (not clubs). We are all mid 30s to early 40s. We are friendly and open to conversation.

 

Groups via meetup.com are also a great way to meet single men. Look for groups aimed at people in their 30s/40s -- not necessarily singles groups.

[mammasita]

I met my current BF thru OLD but he is the FIRST man that has ever EVER been worth a **** that I met on line.

 

Before him, a friend at work introduced me to her brother (my ex LOL). Otherwise I'd definitely be more social as far as meet-up groups and such.

[ponchsox]

When I go out with my girlfriends, we meet age appropriate single guys every time we go out. We typically go to dinner somewhere and then to a lounge or bar (not clubs). We are all mid 30s to early 40s. We are friendly and open to conversation.

 

Groups via meetup.com are also a great way to meet single men. Look for groups aimed at people in their 30s/40s -- not necessarily singles groups.

 

I joined a singles group and it was awkward. There were single two women who weren't hot and a bunch of strange creepy guys following them everywhere and paying for their food and drinks.

[ponchsox]

Basically via my activities (so my social circle) and from guys who cold approach me as I go about my business. My social circle activities include church, sports I play, alumni events, my hiking, biking, and kayaking clubs, dinner parties at friends' houses, galas, fundraisers, political events, etc. I don't date men I work with or might work with at some point.

 

In terms of cold approaches, I'm approached in stores/malls, the parking garage, library, on planes, in hotels, just walking down the street, a minor car accident...you name it, guys don't seem to care much whether it seems appropriate.

 

I probably meet at least ten or fifteen entirely new men through my social circle every week...but bear in mind that many are married, the wrong age, etc. I don't really think about cold approaches unless I'm with friends because they'll comment on the sheer frequency.

 

I personally love OLD! It's a really efficient way to meet singles who are the right age, are a great fit for me, and who want the same things I do (including a serious relationship). I tried speed dating a couple of times and the guys I ended up dating turned out to be total duds after a date or two. So for me, that was a total waste of my time. I've never used bars or clubs/lounges to meet guys because I'm highly unlikely to find the type of men I seek there.

 

If it helps, I think guys tend to approach when you seem easygoing, warm, and friendly.

 

What sites do you like the most?

[clia]

I joined a singles group and it was awkward. There were single two women who weren't hot and a bunch of strange creepy guys following them everywhere and paying for their food and drinks.

 

That's why I suggested she not focus on the singles groups. There are foodie, wine, running, volleyball, any other sport you can imagine, book, professionals, movies, science, etc...all kinds of different groups for any interest you might possibly ever have. Look at groups with a large number of members. You can also see who and how many people have RSVP'd to events to decide whether or not you want to go. I preferred the events where a lot of people went, or if a dinner or happy hour event at least 10. Maybe I just got lucky, but I joined a few groups that turned out to be fantastic and have met a lot of great people -- men and women.

[Woggle]

Go to things where a lot of people are and be social and approachable. That is the easiest way.

[GemmaUK]

I meet men all over the place. Was chatted up by a very nice Scot last night while ice skating but dofus me didn't realize he was hitting on me... He was lovely.

 

I meet men while walking, I meet men while shopping, I meet men filling up my car, I meet men at yoga, I meet men at all the crazy things I go and do and try out.

 

Some are "eligible", some are seriously not but its still good for the ego to have a gang of 20 yr old hotties all vying for your attention

 

My advice is go out, do things, talk to people, laugh and joke with them. Enjoy meeting people of all ages and genres. At the very least its fun!

 

My problem is that I can talk to all and sundry but never actually notice that they are interested until its too late. Last nights chap I didn't know until after I had left as he had said to the other girl I was with that I was very pretty and he wanted to know if I was on the pull... at age 16 she dissolved into a fit of giggles at the time so he may have been more lucky if he had asked me instead Then I could of told him that up to 5 seconds ago I wasn't but (as he had a lovely bottom, great teeth and was kind enough to help me then..) I absolutely was as of that minute!! I thought he was just being nice and had a wife at home... She told me as we were driving home as she was still giggling that "the oldie" has still got it

 

I have far more luck meeting people in real life than on line. I also enjoy it more too!

 

 

I am exactly the same. I meet people everywhere and anywhere.

 

 

The one and only thing which makes this happen or not happen is my facial expression. Clothes don't matter, mair, make up, none of that (in fact the more dressed up I am the less attention I get.

 

 

But..if you truly honestly look at your own 'resting face' in a mirror - well - most of you wouldn't say hello to yourselves I bet.

It takes a few muscles to enliven your facial expression - that and a wiggle works wonders!

[Leigh 87]

You really have to put yourself out there.

 

I go up and talk to men when I am out!

 

I go out of my way to make things happen.

 

I have met some guys who were very interested in me - yet they would have never approached me first - many men do not approach women in public...

 

I am an introvert but I have some practice at just walking up to strangers - in hostels I would do this often and so I guess even though it makes me uncomfortable, in my every day life I DO go up to men and start talking - but in a way that isn't intimidating and so it seems like I am just alone and wanting a friendly ear....

[Leigh 87]

I meet men:

 

- live music

- book stores

- shopping malls

- having lunch on the local grass/park area

 

 

I ALWAYS find ways to talk to strangers that is pleasant but yet if they are interested and that way inclined (if they are single and find me attractive) they ALWAYS bite.