Another desperate housewife

[DH]

I need help, I'm wondering if I need professional help. It's funny I'm very like that wife who spends all day on the computer.

 

I'm twenty seven and have two young kids, one that just started school and anoth that's two. I do some housework and I give the kids their lunch and dinner etc but I spend ALOT of time on the computer. I can't get away from it. I turn it off and always end up going back and hour later and turning it back on. I go in to play with my kids but just see toys everywhere and get upset and want to cry and go back to the computer again.

 

I just feel so stressed all the time and I feel like I can't cope. I want to DO something. I hate this. I wish I could throw all their toys out so I don't have to clean them up all the time.

 

My H works late quite a lot too so I have to put the kids bed and then I just spend the night on the computer or looking at the tv.

 

I know my kids are picking up bad habits from me because I snap at them and my eldest has started snapping at my littlest one. I don't know how to get out of this rut. Do i need to just kick myself in the ass? I'm so unhappy.

[li'l bunny]

Do you get out much? Maybe you need to ask your H to lock up the computer when he goes to work so you can't get at it??

 

It sounds like you may be depressed too. Are you looking after your children or do you feel you're neglecting them?

[jade_nc]

i'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this too.

 

several things have helped me, although i still have my bad days. i joined a mother with toddlers group. they meet every other week, and my 2yr old actually gets time to play with kids his own age while i spend time with other SAHM's who go through the same things i do.

 

i've also started taking him to the park, library or play place one day a week. it gets us both out of the house.

i have art projects that i work on during nap time. i am getting ready to start going to yoga once a week again.

we all have things that interest us - find yours.

 

i also sat down and made goals for myself. i want to redecorate my daughter's room by the end of the summer. i want my toddler to be potty trained by the end of summer, i want to have an organized work space for my art by the end of april, etc.

 

one of my problems with the pc is that my husband e-mails me from work all day long. part of me feels obligated to respond.....the other part wants to because at least i can understand what he's saying to me! haha for me, that was alot of it. most of my friends still work full time and e-mail me throughout the day. i really missed the conversation with adults. anyway, i've told him i feel it's destructive behavior. he still e-mails all the time, but is more understanding if i don't respond.

 

one of my next steps is to set a schedule.....like they do at preschool's. art time, reading time, play outside time, nap time, dishes time, etc.....i just need to make sure i schedule some mommy time in there too!

[DH]

Jade thanks for that. I do do things other than stay at home. I often bring the kids for walks and bake with them, let them paint, build with bricks but every few minutes I would say, hang on I'll be back in a minute and I'd run upstairs to check my e-mail (like you my H and friends email me alot). I also have a habit of texting alot too. I sometimes just leave my phone at home when I'm out because I find it so distracting.

 

I have also joined two mother and toddler groups and we go once a week. I just feel that the other mothers are so much older than me. I keep reassuring myself that when I'm forty my kids will be grown up and I'll have so much spare time to spend with them and my H.

 

I know this doesn't last long and I really want to enjoy my kids growing up. Maybe the best solution is to hire someone to come in once a week and clean the house. I like things to be in their proper places. Every type of toy has it's box!

 

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I do like the routine idea....I think I will set out times to do certain things