I'm the OM: Deception is turning me off, but it's hard to stop...

[HurtOfGlass]

This is a very disgusting read, especially the last update.

I truly feel sorry for the poor husband. I don't know how he can bear so much humiliation. And how some people can dole out so much mental torture to others.

 

I really hope the husband sees the light, grows a backbone and throws out this scumbag wife of his......

[Ruffian1]

"I have reservations, serious ones... but I love her and I feel like we could grow together. I do resent her indecision though and the longer this goes on I feel the more damage it does, the weaker our foundation becomes. It would be hard but if I met someone and we really hit it off I wouldn't dismiss the opportunity to get with someone whose situation is less complicated."

 

 

And there it is. Cracks in the true love foundation. Get ready, they will get bigger and spread.

 

 

At least you admit your "serious reservations".

 

 

Women like her want the stability of a H and all the nice things that come with that title. They also like an ego boost and some extra fun on the side.

(and pull'in one over on dumb ole hubby)

 

 

Typical cake eater.

[dichotomy]

 

Long story short, she was to visit me and who knows maybe even move up here. But she got scared, it fell through, and she got back with her husband right before the divorce was to finalize.

 

.

 

 

Maybe you don't have what it takes for her to leave her husband. Maybe its not her weakness - you just don't measure up enough for her to leave him. Nice, bet her husband is giving her something your not. Maybe your just a enjoyable FB, a boy toy, but can't deliver as man, husband and provider. Maybe your just not husband and father material for her and she will never leave a man like her husband for you. I mean if you were really "the man" for her, she would have left for you. "I was scared"... ya... scared of a life WITH YOU.

 

Also remember this - she is cheating on you now - or will be if you start up sex with her while she is officially married (she was separated before). She gets to have two men - good for her.

 

Lastly - about the hot hot sex. Think about this if you meet up with her to make this EA a PA. Your going to be putting your mouth where her husbands dick was fairly recently. You want to kiss or lick that man sauce residue? Picture this when you think of the hot hot sex with her.

 

 

There - I hope I have provided you enough thoughts, emotions, images and more in your head to turn this off for you. Yes - I am being a rude a hole - to help you get out of this.

Edited February 18, 2015 by dichotomy

[truncated]

I have met women like her before. Flaky and manipulative, entitled,spoiled and will blame anyone and everyone for the problems in their life.

 

This woman finds it funny to joke abot how she will lie to her husband, and tries to drag you in to the humour? Doesn't sound like she thinks that highly of you if she thinks you'd find that kind of thing funny.

 

BTW, who is paying for her transportation to and from where you live, her accomodation while she visits you? Are you paying for it? Is she? Is he?

 

You say you looked at his facebook, and don't like him because he sounds different than you? this comming from a guy who is sleeping with some other guys wife? That's rich.

 

She won't leave big, bad hubby, even though they were separated, yet she had you, the love of her life, soul mate to run to ready to sweep her into his arms and kiss all her boo boos away? Come on dude, really think about that for a minute.

 

In my honest opinion, you don't see anything wrong in what she is doing because you are just like her. You cheated on your wife by having sex at work, ( and yes oral is most certainly sex...how would you feel if little missus muse went and had oral sex with some guy? ) but try to pass it off an not cheating, then in the next breath say that even if it is cheating, it's not your fault it's your wife's.

 

Meanwhile, her huby is at home, who knows what lies she's telling him. He probably thinks he can trust her, when meanwhile, she's sleeping with you, probably texting him from your bathroom with "I love you...miss you...be home soon"

 

What a piece of work. If you trust her so much and think she wants to be with you but just can't work up the courage, the next time she is with you, call him in front of her ( or send him an email) and let him know the score. If she loves you lke you say she does, won't she be happy to finally be free to be with you full time?

 

What's stopping you?

[everybody]

Thanks for the continued feedback. I can definitely see where a lot of you are coming from, especially given what you know and going off the things I've said.

 

She came up to see me again a month after her first trip, so late Jan it was (and to answer one person's question, she paid her own way to come both times). This last trip she drove over 10 hours to come see me straight through the night after a 12 hour work shift. Crazy she was and I kept waking all night with worry but knowing she just couldn't wait to see me felt great of course. It was another amazing time and I drove back down with her and spent a few days in my hometown with family.

 

We text daily and have phone conversations with some regularity. We talked last night. She gave me a timeframe of leaving her husband in 2-3 weeks, or within a month. We'll see how that plays out. This has been hard on both of us, though I'm sure saying as much will inspire more eye-rolling than sympathy, which is understandable all things considered. And you know, despite my not knowing him, I do feel bad for the husband after all... I don't want anyone to suffer, even a stranger, and I know that must seem empty and pointless given my actions... and I guess it is. But I love her not him.

 

I'm not really looking for advice much at this point, but I'll be open to it and if I see there have been comments after posting this I'll update and let you know how things turn out. All I can say is I love her very much and I know that she loves me. We talk about spending our lives together and I honestly want that. I'm not dying to have kids and I don't think she is either, but one day I could see it.

[No Limit]

Very eager for updates indeed. So far everything is following the textbook and I'm sure other users and readers would profit from watching the full play until its end.

[1040]

Please keep us updated.

 

You are going to get so burned eventually, one way or the other.

[everybody]

Maybe I will get burned and maybe I won't. Sometimes you have to take risks in life. I've done a good bit of research on the fidelity of partners who are poached vs. non-poached. I understand the history...

 

I believe people can improve. In fact, I know they can from experience. I used to be obese and had a substance abuse problem for years and years—the list of street drugs I haven't done is far shorter than the list of ones I have. I've been at a healthy weight and kept 70 pounds off for like 4 years now and I don't abuse any drugs. I overcame those seriously horrible problems, and quit a pack a day habit a year and a half ago to boot. Go me, I say. But you know what, go humanity—there's nothing so special about me, I am a human and I have will power and overcame the odds. So can other people. I didn't let the poor odds of keeping that much weight off discourage me, or of kicking opiates and other drugs without a relapse. And so, I am not going to just give up and say, "better chance I'll get hurt so I won't play with fire"... I love this girl, and our relationship is more than what's been relayed in text on a forum; there is a sincere and honest connection and a deep love. She's a good person, imperfect and has made some poor decisions, has caused pain, and I'm in the same boat. But we both are people who care about each other and care about being good people. I had great parents that showed me so much love and her family is not quite as loving as mine, there's more conflict in her's where there is virtually none in mine... I want her to know that love, I want her to benefit from it, to feel safe in it.

 

You all can be snotty all you want, and I know that's the disposition here. And I know a lot of you have been hurt and maybe identify with the husband's position. But you know, it's not all black and white. It's simply not. And if you think it is, you're unimaginative.

[FallenA]

It obvious she loves you, I don't know why people are saying otherwise.

I mean she was just about to D her husband when she decided to stay with him for your sake right. She knew you didn't want a live in long term partner right?

That's why she stayed with him, she knew if she left him you would not want her. You only want her with her H so she stayed with him, is that correct?

Everything she has done screams true love to me, go for it son, you deserve it.

[Mr. Lucky]

I believe people can improve. In fact, I know they can from experience. I used to be obese and had a substance abuse problem for years and years—the list of street drugs I haven't done is far shorter than the list of ones I have. I've been at a healthy weight and kept 70 pounds off for like 4 years now and I don't abuse any drugs. I overcame those seriously horrible problems, and quit a pack a day habit a year and a half ago to boot. Go me, I say.

 

Congrats on the self-improvement. Noteworthy accomplishments all.

 

Unfortunately, none of that will do you any good if she cracks first. And the odds say she'll go back "home" when your life together isn't all rainbows and unicorns. Let's see what happens...

 

Mr. Lucky