pank Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Hi there I recently broke up with my girlfriend, we’ve been dating for eight months. Our relationship is mostly great but whenever we’re upset with each other, which is rear, she can be a real bitch. I often look past it because emotions can cause a person to not be themselves during the heat of the moment. She came from a desfunctional family and is often depress about her situation in life but whenever shes with me, shes happy. Well the main reason why I broke up with her is because I feel like shes taking me for granted. We both make sacrifices to spend time with each other but since shes always depress and needy, I often try my best to comfort her, giving her back rubs, hugging her, taking her out to eat, staying up with her. This is an everyday thing, I feel like maybe im spoiling her because on days when im too tired to give her that same attention, she tells me that I don’t love or care about her. I understand that she has a depressing life so I do my best to keep her happy, but whenever she doesnt get that much attention, everything goes down hill. All of sudden im the bad guy, who doesn’t care and is very selfish. I ready do love her, I thought things would get better but its always like this. I think I can tolerate if she can just learn to say sorry for once but no, its always my fault, in the end, im always the one giving in. It seems like the only option is for me to tolerate her or just end things. I really do want to work things out, I tried my best and been very patient and understanding but im tired of giving in. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 You did the right thing. I stayed with a needy girl for two and a half years and after continually reinforcing boundaries she cheated on me and went full retard. Plenty of fish in the sea. Some even have brains. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kp4633 Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Yes you made the decision I wish I made years ago. Good job don't look back. She' will drain your energy until there is: a). No more energy. b). She finds someone better. Then she will break your heart. You saved yourself a lot of time buddy. Good job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pank Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Thanks guys for the support. I'm having a hard time dealing with this and keep questioning myself if I did the right thing. I mean, there's a lot of good times that we shared. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Focus on the bad times and why you did what you did. I took my ex back after dumping her numerous times when she begged on her knees. Read my thread in Breaks and Breaking up to see how it went down in the end and the evolution of my perspective. I'm now ten days NC with eight days NC from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pank Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 Thanks Egojoe, I'll check you your thread. Link to post Share on other sites
kp4633 Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Thanks guys for the support. I'm having a hard time dealing with this and keep questioning myself if I did the right thing. I mean, there's a lot of good times that we shared. Everyone has a lot of good times they shared with there SO's even in abusive relationships. Those memories were good... but like I said, they are MEMORIES. Coming from someone who has gone down that path and has finally made it out of the relationship 2.5 years later I HIGHLY suggest you leave it at that. Her neediness will only continue to get worse (or it will feel like it's getting worse) and you will get sick of it. It's a huge burden to carry when someone rests their dependency and happiness on you. Focus on growing yourself and give us an update in 2 months. Link to post Share on other sites
klonclu Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Thanks guys for the support. I'm having a hard time dealing with this and keep questioning myself if I did the right thing. I mean, there's a lot of good times that we shared. Like I read somewhere, the key to a happy life is making a decision and not looking back. If you ever get the chance, watch the Ted Video by 'Dan Gilbert called The Surprising Science Of Happiness'. Sorry, but I'm not being corny, he actually talks, based on scientific data how we can synthesize happiness and how living on the fence is only killing your chance at happiness further. Based on what you've written, I suggest you walk away. It's easier said than done but you're saving yourself a bigger heartache and a lot of days with unnecessary tension bro. Go grab a few beers with your buds, if you have a good mate go vent, move on, get yourself busy; start the process to getting someone better. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
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