Am I Correctly Aiming For Girls In My Own League?

[contactadam2002]

So battle, business, science and sports are not in any way chaotic and unpredictable? Doesn't sound very accurate to me.

 

Women can just sit back, chill and see what happens in dating, the vast majority of men won't get very far with that sort of attitude though. They are expected to be proactive, and action is better if its planned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I really don't think online dating is as bad as some guys make out. I think its more a case of guys hugely overestimating their own attractiveness. I'm below average looking, average height, unsuccessful in education/career terms and don't even own a car... I'm possibly not even a 4/10, let alone a 6/10. I still managed to go on dates with 7 women in 4 months.

 

How? I messaged lots of below average looking women.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again this is hugely exaggerated.. Yes you compete with dozens of guys, but there is nothing to stop you from messaging dozens of women.

 

Well I was hoping that I too could date around the potential league I might be in. Were you disappointed though to date women of what you regarded as below average attractiveness? If they're the only ones thatd respond to me (which seems to have possibly been the case, though not earlier this year admittedly) then I wouldn't be happy as that relationship didn't work at all.

[MercuryMorrison1]

So battle, business, science and sports are not in any way chaotic and unpredictable? Doesn't sound very accurate to me.

 

Women can just sit back, chill and see what happens in dating, the vast majority of men won't get very far with that sort of attitude though. They are expected to be proactive, and action is better if its planned.

 

I used to think like this...But Danda is 110% correct in this case. I used to strategize and try and plan out my ''attack'' when meeting new women, but then I realized that it's all just a big goddamn waste of time.

 

If I see a woman I like, I go talk to her...The end. If it culminate's into me getting her phone number or a date or whatever, then great! If not? Then oh well no biggie, at least I didn't waste an exuberant amount of time plotting and planning only to have my careful calculation's be met with failure.

 

I realize now in retrospec, that I used to be so calculative about dating because I simply feared rejection, and I thought that by planning things out I would be minimizing my chance's of rejection, but what I didn't realize is that by taking time to plan things out like that, I was also giving myself time to over think and talk myself out of meeting these beautiful women I was attracted to. Nowa days rejection to me mean's absolutely nothing...Oh you have a boyfriend? I'm sorry to have bothered you, have a great day. That's it...Literally that's it lol.

 

As soon as I changed my ways and adopted the just go for it life style, my dating life improved astronomically.

 

Everyone's different and has different experience's but I'm just stating my own here.

 

And one more thing.

 

Personally...I always thought leagues were a completely asinine way to measure dating...I think putting people in leagues is stupid. If you're attracted to someone weather or not you perceive them to be in or out of your league, you literally have nothing to lose by just striking up random conversation with them and seeing where it leads to.

Edited December 17, 2014 by MercuryMorrison1

[contactadam2002]

If I see a woman I like, I go talk to her...The end. If it culminate's into me getting her phone number or a date or whatever, then great! If not? Then oh well no biggie, at least I didn't waste an exuberant amount of time plotting and planning only to have my careful calculation's be met with failure.

 

I realize now in retrospec, that I used to be so calculative about dating because I simply feared rejection, and I thought that by planning things out I would be minimizing my chance's of rejection, but what I didn't realize is that by taking time to plan things out like that, I was also giving myself time to over think and talk myself out of meeting these beautiful women I was attracted to. Nowa days rejection to me mean's absolutely nothing...Oh you have a boyfriend? I'm sorry to have bothered you, have a great day. That's it...Literally that's it lol.

 

I wish it was that easy for me, I admit I definitely do overthink things, but if I didn't then I'd simply make a fool of myself and expose myself to constant endless rejection (which is intolerable when you're desperate like I sometimes am, though I've obviously rejected those who weren't attractive to me) but I have to rely wholly on the improbabilities of online dating to improve my improbable chance of getting the women I want, or anyone half decent at all.

 

There's more to it than just holding conversation, because there any many different types of conversations that can be had (all indepth and yet with some ending in them going back to joining their mates after and leavinmg you behind).

[MercuryMorrison1]

I wish it was that easy for me, I admit I definitely do overthink things, but if I didn't then I'd simply make a fool of myself and expose myself to constant endless rejection (which is intolerable when you're desperate like I sometimes am, though I've obviously rejected those who weren't attractive to me) but I have to rely wholly on the improbabilities of online dating to improve my improbable chance of getting the women I want, or anyone half decent at all.

 

There's more to it than just holding conversation, because there any many different types of conversations that can be had (all indepth and yet with some ending in them going back to joining their mates after and leavinmg you behind).

 

I get that, I mean it really is a different experience for everyone.

 

I guess for me, I just got to a point where I felt like there was nothing foolish about going and talking to a girl I'm interested in, and if anyone were to every treat me like I was being a fool for making conversation with someone I'm attracted to, then the only fool would be them.

 

As far as holding conversations go, I do agree that there are many different kinds of conversations to be had all with their own different outcomes, In my eyes it's just one of those things...If I talk to a girl for 15 minutes or so and the conversation ends with her telling me she has a boyfriend or something like that, then I just look at it as small amount of time spent and nothing to be worried over.

 

Personally when talking to women, I tend to try lead the conversation in a direction that will let me know quickly weather or not there might be a possibility of anything happening or not.

 

For example, the girl that I'm kind of involved with right now, I met her at a bookstore, I noticed she was looking at Michael Crichton novels, So I went over and asked her is she liked Crichton, to which she replied how much she loved his books, And I just rolled with the conversation there, we talked about books and then music and movies and all that kind of stuff in a 20 minute period, then I got her number.

 

It's all really subjective though, everyone has their own way of handling things.

[contactadam2002]

For example, the girl that I'm kind of involved with right now, I met her at a bookstore, I noticed she was looking at Michael Crichton novels, So I went over and asked her is she liked Crichton, to which she replied how much she loved his books, And I just rolled with the conversation there, we talked about books and then music and movies and all that kind of stuff in a 20 minute period, then I got her number.

 

I think that if I was able to do this then I might not have a problem to begin with, but then I probably wouldn't be 'me' anymore because lot's of things might be different about me to facilitate this. What I really need (and damn the USA for having a service like this) is a female dating coach who can give you the great advice tailored around your perceived problems and then the pot of gold at the end is a 'live test' either with her or her friends followed by feedback. I may very well have aspergers so although I can seem perfectly normal in conversation (and even though somehow other aspies can get a lover of whom presumably they're happy with) for me I just can't ever get the conversations to go in the direction I want, even if I can hold a fairly interesting conversation with many laughs, there's always another guy they'd rather be with. I need a lot of help.