My husband is so unsupportive.

[FolderWife]

I am soft. I'm not fat, I'm soft. My right thigh under my butt has a little dimple if I stand up straight.

 

I've always had a little belly pooch under my belly button, that I've ALWAYS hated

 

So I decided that I wanted to get in shape. Not necessarily tone up...not necessarily lose any inches, but just feel better. I've never been able to run. I've always wanted to be able to just start running, and go for miles before I poop out.

 

So we bought a treadmill off of a guy for $100. Well, this treadmill has a pretty good incline (I'd say about 4-6 inches).

 

When I started walking on this treadmill, I walked at three miles an hour (like I did at the gym) and after 5 minutes, I thought I would die. Well, my husband is all like, "You're not going to get anywhere if you don't push yourself, yadda yadda yadda..." so I reduced my speed to like 2-2.5 mph, and I can walk longer. The other day, I made it to ten minutes. Then I'll run for like 30 seconds, feel like I'm going to pass out from lack of air, and stop. Then I do squats and crunches on our weight machine.

 

Ok, I've worked in an office for going on four years. So for FOUR YEARS, I've had little to no physical activity, except for the three months that I went to the gym regularly last year (which I quit because first my husband nagged me that I was at the gym more than with him, and then he joined my gym, went one time, and never went back, and that totally killed my motivation).

 

So I started getting up before work, and excercising on the treadmill, and weight machine. Hubby said, "You'll never stick with getting up early." Well, it's been a week, and I've stuck with it. So yesterday, I made it to fifteen minutes on the treadmill pretty easily, but I started running, and pooped myself out, so I got off and lifted weights.

 

That evening, hubby asks, "Did you work out this morning?" I said, "Yes." He said, "How much?" I told him, and he rolled his eyes, and let out a big huff, and said, "Fifteen minutes ain't going to make a difference. You might as well just stay in bed!"

 

Ok, I'm not trying to KILL myself, I'm trying to work my way up. I am proud that I went from five minutes to fifteen minutes in a week. I am VERY proud. But he just puts me down like I'm an idiot for trying. But if I DON'T make an effort, he nags the heck out of me, and picks at me for being flabby in places.

 

So what the heck does he want from me?? Does he just like to put me down!? Does he LIKE that I have flaws that he can pick on?

 

I want to stick with it, because I want to be able to run two miles before I die, but every effort that I make, he shoots down

 

I guess I could just not tell him when I work out. If I lied, and said, "I walked for thirty minutes, and ran for five," he's probably say, "Good job!" but since I'm not in army shape, he acts like I'm not working hard enough.

[CurlyIam]

Monday... no offence girl, why don't you tell him to just keep his mouth shut if he can't say something nice???

 

So now you know, he's not your sport boy. So??? He doesn't have to be, you know? If you feel he's demotivationg you, exercise when he's not home and stop sharing your results. It's something of your own. All married people have stuff of their own.

 

If you can't, just go to tha gym with a girlfriend and get a trainer who'd actually support you.

 

 

Honestely, don't take what he says so seriously. He's just jelous, that's all! And... maybe you're a bit too dependent on him?

[tiki]

Lemme guess...the only exercise he gets is jacking of to..... Okay, I'll stop.

 

What a jerk. Tell him to shut the f*ck up. Tell him you have to look good for when you find you a real man.

 

Okay, I'm still kidding.

 

I think it's awesome that you've increased your workout by three times the original amount in one week. That's seriously awesome!!!

 

Don't pay any attention to him, he's being a prick.

[Pocky]

Do you two even like each other? I know you're married and I'm not suggesting divorce, but damn if it doesn't sound like all you two do is pick at each other non-stop.

[HotCaliGirl]

I think your husband has insecurity issues and fears that once you start to look good that other men might hit on you at the office or something. That is crazy for someone you love to not support you, and even discourage you and put you down! while you are trying to get into shape, which is when you need the most support.

 

Does he not support you in other areas in your life as well? I had a bf who would not like it that I would exercise and had a great bod he kept telling me to stop going to the gym, said that he wanted me to gain weight.

 

He would make me these meals with butter and grease just dripping off and bring me sweets like chocolate and suprirse me with cheesecake in the middle of the night to show his "love" for me but it was just jealousy and insecurity. I am in such great shape that it is almost impossible to gain fat. He would make me weigh myself and ask why I hadn't gained the ten pounds I was "supposed" to that he asked me to. Only after we were apart did I realize this behavior was not right.

 

I think you should continue to exercise and improve your body image and self esteem and not let his negative, hurtful, selfish feedback hold you back. I bet he has a fat a** anyways and is jealous that you are putting in the effort to improve yourself. I bet it motivates you to even do more exercising...The more my bf would bug me, I started to weight lift too and my body just got better and better - screw these a-holes.

 

The moment he leaves the house, get on your treadmill and make sure you strive to reach for that 2 mile mark. I bet you will be running 5 miles by the end of this year if you don't let your foolish husband's road-block stop you.

[FolderWife]

AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh The motivation I feel now

[moimeme]

So what the heck does he want from me?? Does he just like to put me down!? Does he LIKE that I have flaws that he can pick on?

 

Ask him.

[RecordProducer]

Monday, you can't exercise for too long from the start. You need to start from a few minutes and gradually raise to the maximum that your body can endure. Any exercise is good for your health and beauty. Keep doing it regularly and soon enough you will see the results. You're doing good, well done!

As to your husband...I don't want to dirty my keyboard and comment his personality!

[Tigerlily76]

Why not handcuff him to the treadmill and see how long he lasts?

 

I'm sure you could come up with some motivational commentary to help him out!

[Treadmill Champ]

Hi.

 

I am having the exact same issues with my husband. I put on about 50 pounds in the two years we have been married. All awhile he would tell me that he wanted me to gain weight.

 

Now that I have finally started losing weight, he is being so unsupportive. He keeps telling me that everyone has a set weight that they cannot change. If that's the case, how come I put on so much weight?

 

I also started running for the first time in my life, and no matter what progress I make, he finds a way to make it seem like I am not pushing myself enough.

 

Like you, I am proud of the progress I am making. I know I should not depend on anyone else for motivation, but when my own husband goes out of his way to be so discouraging, IT HURTS. He tries so hard to justify everything he says to me. He has even gone as far as to say that I am clueless about nutrition and fitness and that he knows what he is talking about because he has taken a couple of nutrition classes. I am a rather well educated person, if I do say so myself.

 

My husband also does not understand how women go through minor weight fluctuations throughout thier monthly cycles, and makes it seem like if I don't lose as much weight as I expect to one week, then it is because I am slacking off.

 

What is going on in his head??? Is it so wrong for me to just want him to be happy that I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle?

 

He used to be in great shape for about two years and that's it. He has always been rather strong, but also somewhat thin, and he wishes he was heavier. So what makes him such an expert?

 

Please help! I am so confused!!!