mefisto Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 (edited) I having hard time to decide - should delete the crush from the social network? One month ago i found her profile and i felt strong attraction towards her, she is so beautiful and i thought that we had a lot in common. I wrote her and she responded in very positive way, we exchanged a lot of messages and i finally asked her out. She agreed and later, as i thought, we had the wonderful date. We talked and laughed a lot, i gave her a few romantical hints, she didn't respond to them and after 2 hours she said that she needs to go to work, i offered to meet on next weekend, she replied that maybe after two weeks. In the result, she doesn't want to meet at all, shes always "so busy" despite the being online every 2 hours and posting photos with her friends hunging out. Okay, i thought maybe we should continue chatting online and getting to know each other and with time passed, she would meet me again. But no, she became very cold and started to ignore my messages that she found so interesting one month ago. One time, after waiting for the reply for full week, i asked her directly if she even want to continue communicate with me further and she said "oh yeah im sorry i got so worked up that i forgot to answer". Yeah, right, of course she forgot. Right now shes again ignoring my message again for 4st day already and i start to think that i should delete her, because obviously we never wont go anywhere. I wont ever be her boyfriend, i wont be her friend, i will be nothing for her. And very soon im sure that she will put relationship status with some guy and it will hurt me a lot. And she obviously wont ever write me first to ask whats going on in my life, because she doesn't care. Im always obligated to show initiate and write her first just to be ignored. So, even if she wont put status with some guy, im sure that she will delete me herself because she keeps her friendlist very short, and it will be humiliating and painful for me. So should i delete her to avoid future humiliation and pain? I bet she wont even notice it for a few months and then she will remember "oh that was that weird guy who sent me this good song and wrote me those creepy messages...screw this loser anyway, i would delete him first if he would not get ahead of me". Any advice? Edited December 15, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 When a woman says "she's busy", without offering a firm time and day she is available for a date, unfortunately it is a woman's subtle way of saying she's not interested. Don't look at her mentioning at the end of the fist date that she is willing to meet in two weeks, that means nothing. Don't bother sending her anymore messages, just remove her from Facebook, and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 I bet she wont even notice it for a few months and then she will remember "oh that was that weird guy who sent me this good song and wrote me those creepy messages...screw this loser anyway, i would delete him first if he would not get ahead of me". Any advice? My advice is to not assign really nasty thoughts to her- like weird, creepy or loser. That's just your thoughts, not hers. It just didn't click for her like it did for you. I really doubt most people think awful things about someone who likes them. Sure, delete her if it's uncomfortable for you. Nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mefisto Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 When a woman says "she's busy", without offering a firm time and day she is available for a date, unfortunately it is a woman's subtle way of saying she's not interested. Don't look at her mentioning at the end of the fist date that she is willing to meet in two weeks, that means nothing. Don't bother sending her anymore messages, just remove her from Facebook, and move on. Yeah, i thought as much. She wont change her mind with time, right? It was so stupid of me - trying to get involved with beautiful hard-to-get girl while im still hurting from the last breakup. Should i write something before deleting her? Like "thank you for wonderful date, i clearly see you are not interesting in me, wish you well"? My advice is to not assign really nasty thoughts to her- like weird, creepy or loser. That's just your thoughts, not hers. It just didn't click for her like it did for you. I really doubt most people think awful things about someone who likes them. Sure, delete her if it's uncomfortable for you. Nothing wrong with that. I can't forget our date - new replenishment in my piggy-bank of painful memories. I mean, she almost suddenly labeled me in her head as not-attractive guy and i continued to awkwardly flirt with her, it was so dump and embarassing. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 In the result, she doesn't want to meet at all, shes always "so busy" despite the being online every 2 hours and posting photos with her friends hunging out. This was funny..but not from your perspective. Nah mate forget it, What Frank said. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mefisto Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 In the result, she doesn't want to meet at all, shes always "so busy" despite the being online every 2 hours and posting photos with her friends hunging out. This was funny..but not from your perspective. Nah mate forget it, What Frank said. Yeah, its not funny for me at all, i feel very bad. I'd like to repeat two questions: Is it possible that she will change her mind with time? Should i delete her silently or write something? Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I having hard time to decide - should delete the crush from the social network? One month ago i found her profile and i felt strong attraction towards her, she is so beautiful and i thought that we had a lot in common. I wrote her and she responded in very positive way, we exchanged a lot of messages and i finally asked her out. She agreed and later, as i thought, we had the wonderful date. We talked and laughed a lot, i gave her a few romantical hints, she didn't respond to them and after 2 hours she said that she needs to go to work, i offered to meet on next weekend, she replied that maybe after two weeks. In the result, she doesn't want to meet at all, shes always "so busy" despite the being online every 2 hours and posting photos with her friends hunging out. Okay, i thought maybe we should continue chatting online and getting to know each other and with time passed, she would meet me again. But no, she became very cold and started to ignore my messages that she found so interesting one month ago. One time, after waiting for the reply for full week, i asked her directly if she even want to continue communicate with me further and she said "oh yeah im sorry i got so worked up that i forgot to answer". Yeah, right, of course she forgot. Right now shes again ignoring my message again for 4st day already and i start to think that i should delete her, because obviously we never wont go anywhere. I wont ever be her boyfriend, i wont be her friend, i will be nothing for her. And very soon im sure that she will put relationship status with some guy and it will hurt me a lot. And she obviously wont ever write me first to ask whats going on in my life, because she doesn't care. Im always obligated to show initiate and write her first just to be ignored. So, even if she wont put status with some guy, im sure that she will delete me herself because she keeps her friendlist very short, and it will be humiliating and painful for me. So should i delete her to avoid future humiliation and pain? I bet she wont even notice it for a few months and then she will remember "oh that was that weird guy who sent me this good song and wrote me those creepy messages...screw this loser anyway, i would delete him first if he would not get ahead of me". Any advice? Advice? Get used to it. It will happen again. It happens to all of us. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Yeah, its not funny for me at all, i feel very bad. I'd like to repeat two questions: Is it possible that she will change her mind with time? Should i delete her silently or write something? She won't. Delete. Say nothing. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 ... I mean, she almost suddenly labeled me in her head as not-attractive guy and i continued to awkwardly flirt with her, it was so dump and embarassing. What makes you think that? She didn't tell you that she labelled you in any way. You can't know what's in her head. That's why I said that I think these negative thoughts are yours, not hers. She never said that, so don't think such bad things about yourself. Lots of people do this, though- make assumptions about what other people think and feel. It seems to cause a lot of unnecessary pain or harshness. I've certainly seen men decide that I thought or felt a certain way, or decide that I didn't want to date them because of THEIR reasons, not my reasons. Usually it was because he thought I thought he wasn't good looking enough or rich enough. But it wasn't true. Those were their own fears and values. So anyway, assume the best and that she didn't want to date you for a neutral reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Is it possible that she will change her mind with time? You are hoping for this because you are interested in her. Unfortunately she is not interested in you, so she will not magically think she made a mistake. I know it's hard letting go when you thought there was mutual interest. Sometimes people do crazy things that leave you confused. Should i delete her silently or write something? If it helps, wake up at 3 AM in the morning, start blasting some really loud music, and remove her while yelling "Freedom!". Do not write to her at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mefisto Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 You are hoping for this because you are interested in her. Unfortunately she is not interested in you, so she will not magically think she made a mistake. I know it's hard letting go when you thought there was mutual interest. Sometimes people do crazy things that leave you confused. If it helps, wake up at 3 AM in the morning, start blasting some really loud music, and remove her while yelling "Freedom!". Do not write to her at all. Hey Frank, i got a little update. I was ready to do as you said, logged online, went on my way to delete her and then i got a message from her with full answer for my previous message and she even asked me a question about my life, like she does give a damn, which she didn't do before. I know that it means nothing really and she wont date me anyway, because i lost chance to impress her, but now its getting harder to delete her. Maybe i will try to be able to feel joy just from chatting with her? I guess, its the biggest kind of interaction with such beautiful girl that i can ever hope for. Most likely, she will start to ignore me again soon and if it would be final stage of ignoring, then i will delete her. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
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