Photo anxiety

[NOsuchthing]

Hi all,

 

I don't know if this will sound strange or if anyone can relate, but I struggle a bit with my weight. Im always fluctuating between about 10-15 lbs, and in my mind, when I'm on the lower end I feel I look great, but when I'm on the heavier end I feel I look TERRIBLE; Like I am completely disgusted with how I look in photos. I seem to be the only person who sees it, but seeing a photo of me in which I look bad will set me anxious and upset for hours, and sometimes even into the next day.

 

Generally this wouldn't be a huge problem, as one can usually avoid the camera, but I am a teacher and therefore, there are events where the camera is just always going....and pictures will pop up of me, some of them great, some of them AWFUL.

 

I think what adds to this anxiety is I am very top heavy, and looking into getting a breast reduction. My breasts are extremely large and I am self conscious of them. Again, according to people, I carry myself well, have an hourglass shape, and NO one seems to understand why I'd want smaller breasts as everyone seems to want larger ones, but I hate the way they seem to take over pictures even when I try to hide them. I hate the way candid pictures sometimes turn out, and as this Friday I am having an event at work where the camera will just be flashing away, I am already starting to experience negative feelings. I have been at the gym almost everyday for the last two weeks and I'm feeling rather fit at the moment, but I still feel upset.....

 

I know I probably sound crazy, but if anyone has experienced this, I would love to hear from you. My friends just tell me I'm nuts.

[genuinelyloverly7]

My sympathies, NOsuchthing! I understand. I don't feel like I photograph well, though my family poo-pooh's that all the time. "But your smile is so lovely!" they say… Well, when my arms have no definition and my hips are wider than all of my other sisters hips, no-one notices the smile. Not even me. Which is so lame, and self-defeating. But it is true. We have bought into the slim is sexy idea. Which goes back to youth being sexy.

 

(10-15lbs! You must be a kitten or something:D ) But seriously, I struggle with those last 10-15 as well. And I get the feel great/feel hate see-saw. When I am doing what I know is good for me, I feel great. But evidence to the contrary sends me back to feeling like I have no self-control, nothing to be proud of. Might those 5-10 extra pounds be reminding you of something else? Like your boobs? They sort of build up in my mind when I get frustrated with them, to remind me of one another sometimes, making me like both less- large breasts and general weight issues… they both get in the way, physically and socially. So it get's all tangled up together.

 

I really do get the idea of feeling like your breasts are leading the way into every moment of your life. And society makes women feel like if that is the case, we are doing it on purpose, to get attention in a bad way. I say this now, in a deep and thunderous voice; "THAT IS NOT TRUE!!!" DO NOT let that make you feel self-conscious of your body, or as if it is something to cut off and throw away! (I do totally understand wanting to get a reduction for health reasons- big one's are murder on the back!)

 

Be proud of your breasts. Be proud of yourself as you are. Spend some time at home appreciating them (yeah, you know what I mean!) When men, and even women, though usually only in an envious or judgmental way, glance at my breasts as if I am showing them off (which I sometimes am) I poke them out further. I am NOT going to get back pain and become self conscious of my body and sexuality so that someone doesn't have to be reminded of the supposed sin of my flesh. If that is what society really wanted, they wouldn't want women to walk around on heels that poke our a** out all the time.

 

In the case of school functions where you can't flaunt them like they deserve, spend some time looking for those styles of shirts that don't emphasize them as much, and dare to be a voice for the young women you are role-modelling for. They should be proud of their body no matter the shape. You can also role-model your self-discipline and healthy lifestyle as you get into living it all the time. (I say this because it sounds like the 10-15lb struggle is a weight one- which is usually given a boost with green smoothies, and hot yoga.)

[FitChick]

Breast reduction surgery has the highest satisfaction rate of all the types of plastic surgery. Insurance will usually pay for it, too. Your surgeon will probably tell you to lose the extra weight first so he can give you proportionately the best size. Also you don't want to lose weight after the surgery because your new perky boobs will sag.

 

My friend loved going shopping afterward because she could find clothes that fit and wasn't restricted to only certain styles.

 

More information and reviews by actual patients on the RealSelf website.

[Bellaisa]

I know the feeling! My breasts are the first to shrink (a tiny bit) with weight loss, and the first to gain a lot with weight gain. I am VERY top heavy, and I have an hourglass figure too.

 

In pictures, I'm always astounded at how heavy I look, especially when the pictures are of me from the waist up. I look like a linebacker when I thought I looked like a dainty flower - or at least decent. Those pictures make me feel even more top heavy than I already felt.

 

It is ridiculous how big I feel - even though I rationally know I am not as big as I am picturing. My husband tells me I'm crazy too. I'll go on about I feel like a big fat blob, and he always laughs because he says I'm being ridiculous.

 

The way I have tried to fix my issue is that is I look at women who have big breasts and are relatively the same size as me. I can see how they would look top heavy and big in pictures, but the truth is when you look at them from their head to toe as they move around, they don't look that bad.

 

That's how I try to think of myself, even though its hard when you literally feel heavy and can physically feel (and mentally visualize) the size of your top half as you move, sit, walk, or whatever.

 

I get it!

[FitChick]

You can get professionally fitted for a minimizer bra.

[NOsuchthing]

THANK YOU Ladies for your kind words! It really does help to know I am not alone! I'm a G cup with like a 36-7 inch waist so finding shirts that don't emphasize them without buying huge shirts that completely hide my waist and make me look boxy is super tough :/ but Genuine I love what you said about just being proud of them and teaching the kids to be accepting of themselves. They are really really really young though so they won't have 'girls' for quite a few years, but the principle is the same.

 

 

I just hate bad photos!!!!!!!!!! And I hate the idea of them circulating!

 

 

I am quite determined to lose as much weight as possible, because you're right, the more in shape you are, the better you feel and the less intimidating pictures become... Oh dear. My school picture was from literally, mid boob up and I look like I fill the entire frame -_-.. I just LOVE that the kids may be looking at that for years and remembering me that way, NOT haha

 

I'll try and relax, but still feeling quite unsettled about it all.

[genuinelyloverly7]

I know the feeling! My breasts are the first to shrink (a tiny bit) with weight loss, and the first to gain a lot with weight gain. I am VERY top heavy, and I have an hourglass figure too.

 

In pictures, I'm always astounded at how heavy I look, especially when the pictures are of me from the waist up. I look like a linebacker when I thought I looked like a dainty flower - or at least decent. Those pictures make me feel even more top heavy than I already felt.

 

It is ridiculous how big I feel - even though I rationally know I am not as big as I am picturing. My husband tells me I'm crazy too. I'll go on about I feel like a big fat blob, and he always laughs because he says I'm being ridiculous.

 

The way I have tried to fix my issue is that is I look at women who have big breasts and are relatively the same size as me. I can see how they would look top heavy and big in pictures, but the truth is when you look at them from their head to toe as they move around, they don't look that bad.

 

That's how I try to think of myself, even though its hard when you literally feel heavy and can physically feel (and mentally visualize) the size of your top half as you move, sit, walk, or whatever.

 

I get it!

 

THIS!!!

 

But we are all HOT! (I am extrapolating this from the fact that we are human, and women) Not that I don't desperately need a post-holiday detox at this point. Green smoothie cleanse, anyone? And I definitely want to start investing in (fewer but nicer) clothes that I get tailored to my frame. Get rid of all the old stuff that doesn't fit right any more. Pay homage to my awesomeness. That is half of what people see in a photo.

[FitChick]

I'm a G cup with like a 36-7 inch waist so finding shirts that don't emphasize them without buying huge shirts

If your waist is 36" and you have an hourglass shape, your bust and hips are about 46" inches. Unless you are seven feet tall, you are obese. Lose weight and your photo anxiety will be over.

[NOsuchthing]

If your waist is 36" and you have an hourglass shape, your bust and hips are about 46" inches. Unless you are seven feet tall, you are obese. Lose weight and your photo anxiety will be over.

 

 

Fitchick....

 

Do us all a favor and follow Thumper's advice...."If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all" lol

 

I'm actually glad you responded so insensitively because it's made me realize that I am much prouder of my shape than I thought. Obviously, my bust isn't 46 inches, that would be absurd. Not that it matters but I just measured my waist and I'm actually down to about a 34, but that's of no consequence either. I'm a 38G, my waist dips in substantially and then I've got hips of course. I don't love my boobs, but I do love my waist and my hips and I won't apologize for those. I actually just got home from a great gym session and am feeling quite on the up and up. Was quite funny actually to sign and see your lovely comment haha

 

I have seen my doctor about the reduction and she didn't suggest losing pounds, but I did. She took one look at my boobs and said a doctor would sweep me right through, but I wasn't comfortable with my weight so she said that if I wanted to guarantee an approval I should shoot for losing about 20 lbs, which I'm okay with. But anyway...moving right along...this post wasn't about getting validation about how good or bad or fat or skinny are bodies are; it's about being comfortable WHEREVER you are...so moving right along from our friend "Fitchick"

 

 

Bellaisa I'm with you, my boobs are the first to gain and the first to go; its amazing isn't it!? Ive been hitting the chest press pretty good at the gym the last few weeks and watching the bad food and I'm already noticing a little space in the bra.

 

Genuinely we are ALL hot! you're right!

[todreaminblue]

its really hard to smile and not look like a deer in the headlights when you dont like your picture taken......i have deleted pictures off my friends phone that have me in them .....i have in the past ripped up photos of me...i dont like.....the way i look......someone will send me a photo and i cringe...in saying that......when i lose weight....i still dont like my picture taken......there are better pictures to take than one of me.......

 

 

mostly i try and stay away from cameras.....when i cant....i suck it up......and dont ask to see the pictures...i spoil pictures when i am in them.....and thats all i feel when i look at them.......deb

[FitChick]

Some people need to educate themselves about the health risks associated with obesity. Read this article from the NY Times. Pertinent excerpt:

 

"Studies suggest that health risks begin to increase when a woman’s waist reaches 31.5 inches and her risk jumps substantially once her waist expands to 35 inches or more."

 

A true hourglass figure has a 10" or more difference between bust-waist-hips, i.e. 36 bust, 26 waist, 36 hips. Marilyn Monroe's hourglass was a bit more extreme as her waist was about 12" smaller than her bust and hips: 23" waist!

Edited December 18, 2014 by FitChick

[Bellaisa]

Some people need to educate themselves about the health risks associated with obesity.

 

Yes, you do.

 

Are you telling me that a woman who is 4 feet tall and a woman who is 7 feet tall should have the same waist size of 31 inches or 34 inches or whatever? Seriously, stop and think about that.

 

 

The article also says,

 

"However, those numbers are based on averages and are not always useful for very tall or short people, children or certain ethnic groups. Among the Japanese, for instance, health risks start to increase for men with a waist size above 33.5 inches, but for Japanese women, risk does not increase until their waists expand to 35.5 inches.

 

Last month, The International Journal of Obesity suggested that, particularly for young people, the waist-to-height ratio might be a better indicator of overall health risks. Put simply, your waist should be less than half your height.

 

The article also says...

 

"But a thick waist does not always correspond with poor health. One extreme example is the Japanese sumo wrestler who despite his massive size still might have the cardiovascular health of a slimmer athlete. Sumo wrestlers typically store fat just beneath their skin, where it doesn’t cause harm, rather than deeper in their abdomen."

 

Second, you obviously don't have big boobs. A minimizer bra will not alleviate anything.

 

Lastly, you don't know what other people weigh. You don't know how tall other people are. You don't know how healthy other people are. Stop pretending like you do.

 

I hope you are not like this with your friends. I know I wouldn't put up with it.