d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 My cousin's pet died on Sunday. I didn't get her e-mail message about this until Monday. I replied & tried calling her but it went right to VM. Called & texted today. I got one text back but no call. Cousin is a drama queen extraordinaire but she also has suicidal tendencies. Several years ago when her cat died she didn't talk to me for several months because I didn't drop everything & come running. I couldn't. My father had a heart attack the day before & I was dealing with all of his health needs & trying to keep my mother together. I really don't have time to take a 3 hour round trip drive to go see her. I'm going to send her a condolence / sympathy card. The pet was very ill & if it had been me I would have put the poor thing out of it's misery a year ago. I'd never tell her that though. What else should I do if anything? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 To be brutally honest, nothing. I realise you feel you have some responsibility as a relative, but sometimes, it's important to protect yourself from back-lash and consequence. This isn't YOUR life to protect. Your cousin has made choices, and has chosen to be someone who plays through events in a particularly heavy way. I'm sorry if this brings her to the brink of self-harm, but you cannot reproach yourself for being, and acting, normal. Should she do something drastic, would anyone blame you? Would they ask you why you didn't do anything about it? Would you be personally held responsible by others, for your cousin's actions? I think the condolence card is appropriate and caring. It's compassionate and understanding, and shows heart. Many wouldn't even do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I thinka card is also a very caring thing to do, you understand the animals importance to her and that is sweet......the card is more as another poster has said....more than some people would do.....i feel it suits you...and it is what you felt from the heart..i would like to say you are not responsible for her suicidal tendencies...showing you care by a card is a personal and thoughtful thing to do for her.........best wishes..deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 Should she do something drastic, would anyone blame you? Would they ask you why you didn't do anything about it? Would you be personally held responsible by others, for your cousin's actions? Although my head may know this is not my responsibility, my heart won't. I will ask myself all of those Qs & beat myself up. On the other had, if I show up, I know no good deed goes unpunished & she will simply scream at me for not coming Sunday within minutes of the pet's death. I vowed years ago to stop being her emotional punching bag. To a large extent that is true but I when I do see her, she still tries to get in a dig or two. Part of posting here right now for me is so that I don't give in & drive there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 She texted me again; said she's busy at work. Retail at Christmas . . . I'm willing to believe her for now. Thanks for letting me fret Link to post Share on other sites
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