How can I stop thinking about a co worker?

[Fortuna56]

I have a problem concerning a coworker and it's getting so bad I'm finding it difficult to sleep from worrying so much about it. If anyone could offer some advice it would be greatly appreciated.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. In the first year of our relationship he lied to me quite a lot and that put a lot of strain on us both. Since then from what I know he has been honest. My boyfriend is in a band and tours quite a bit, meaning he goes away for long periods of time. When he gets home he mostly watches you tube videos and plays playstation games. He doesn't make a lot of money so the worry of that and the fact he does little to change it weighs heavy on my mind. I know my boyfriend loves me but he makes very little effort with me (apart from making me nice meals) he never suggests anything for us to do and we almost always just watch TV.

 

I am doing a masters in music and a week before starting I lost my drama free job and was forced to turn to working in a very cool bar (i have had bar jobs in the past and disliked them). I started working there and got on with everyone great, work is fun and eventful and full of characters and stories, I feel really lucky to have gotten such a cushty job while I'm studying.

 

On my first shift there was a guy on the bar who was so attractive I didn't want to look at him! I don't go for pretty guys. At the end of the night I saw him take home a stunning blonde customer. We began chatting while on shifts together and I found we're both really into music and we get on really well, I can't stop laughing when I'm around him.

 

At the end of one shift he offered to give me a lift home, we drove around for over an hour chatting and exploring, when I returned home I didn't tell my boyfriend about it. Since then I know I have feelings for my co worker, he only works Saturday nights so whenever I am working with him I get super nervous, drink lots and generally make it really obvious that I like him and embarrass myself.

 

I don't think my coworker likes me, the most he has done is give me that long drive home and the other night he pretty much forced me to wear his coat while we we're both outside smoking. He singles me out i guess but I think mainly that is because I like to smoke and I'm into music. I have also been told that he is a bit of a player and I figure he likes knowing people like him.

 

This has been going on for the past month and I'm sick of feeling so anxious!

I feel so guilty harbouring these feelings while with my boyfriend. Things aren't really working with him at the moment but I feel i should stick it out due to a number of things; I know he's a good person and he loves me, we have a contract on our house until September and I feel I need his help music wise.

 

I can't break up with my boyfriend, I want to feel only for him- so I need to stop obsessing over this other guy. Can any one help with how to do this?

 

I'd like to know the best way to be at work that will help me stop liking him. I feel I should just avoid conversations with him entirely, is this wise?

 

This year I just wanted to focus on myself and my work and here I am an insomniac from guilt and longing getting nothing done! Help would be greatly appreciated.