Winning my ex back through friendship?

[Berke0]

To be clear and concise, I'm 17, my girlfriend broke up with me at the beginning of October. My first ever relationship and I've taken it so badly.

 

Honestly, I don't think I've fully accepted it and I'm in denial, simply because I just love her too much to move on and let go.

 

We have been talking casually for about a week and a half and it's been going really well. She often initiates the conversation and will message me again if I don't reply to her.

 

This had made me feel the happiest I've been in a long time as I feel she must surely still like me if she texts me first???

 

The conversation is very blunt and casual, i don't make an awful lot of effort into the conversation and tell her how I feel cos i feel like i may push her away.

 

Yesterday I brought up sex, and it made her feel uncomfortable, and from then on I was a bit too pushy.

 

Then she said that she was ok with us talking as long as I understood that it wasn't going anywhere because "we are over".

 

I just dunno how to feel, she texts me first, always wears my t shirt and it seems as though maybe she still likes me, but I just don't know at all.

 

She was always negative towards relationships because she said "it either ends in marriage or heartbreak" and was a firm believer that commitment and relationship isn't something she wanted; however when we were together I think she simply liked me too much, and was able to overcome her perspective on relationships and we were happy together

 

I really don't know what to do, i need to keep my cool and pretend that i dont love her, cos if she realises im trying to win her back then she will definitely get scared and back off

 

It's just so upsetting cos I really love her so much and would do anything to be with her again, i hate pretending that i don't love her, but i just dont have a choice, she hates relationships and any discussion about relationships so i just need to keep it casual for now.

 

I bought her a necklace for Christmas before this whole "friends" and i still really want to give it to her. The problem is, a necklace as a christmas present isn't exactly what one friend buys another friend, so that in itself may scare her away.

 

ah so complicated, any advice is appreciated, as long as you don't tell me to "move on", cos i love this girl so much and have to win her back one way or another; sadly the way im having to go about it is difficult and immature

Edited December 18, 2014 by Berke0

[erklat]

To be clear and concise, I'm 17, my girlfriend broke up with me at the beginning of October. My first ever relationship and I've taken it so badly.

 

Honestly, I don't think I've fully accepted it and I'm in denial, simply because I just love her too much to move on and let go.

 

We have been talking casually for about a week and a half and it's been going really well. She often initiates the conversation and will message me again if I don't reply to her.

 

This had made me feel the happiest I've been in a long time as I feel she must surely still like me if she texts me first???

 

The conversation is very blunt and casual, i don't make an awful lot of effort into the conversation and tell her how I feel cos i feel like i may push her away.

 

Yesterday I brought up sex, and it made her feel uncomfortable, and from then on I was a bit too pushy.

 

Then she said that she was ok with us talking as long as I understood that it wasn't going anywhere because "we are over".

 

I just dunno how to feel, she texts me first, always wears my t shirt and it seems as though maybe she still likes me, but I just don't know at all.

 

She was always negative towards relationships because she said "it either ends in marriage or heartbreak" and was a firm believer that commitment and relationship isn't something she wanted; however when we were together I think she simply liked me too much, and was able to overcome her perspective on relationships and we were happy together

 

I really don't know what to do, i need to keep my cool and pretend that i dont love her, cos if she realises im trying to win her back then she will definitely get scared and back off

 

It's just so upsetting cos I really love her so much and would do anything to be with her again, i hate pretending that i don't love her, but i just dont have a choice, she hates relationships and any discussion about relationships so i just need to keep it casual for now.

 

I bought her a necklace for Christmas before this whole "friends" and i still really want to give it to her. The problem is, a necklace as a christmas present isn't exactly what one friend buys another friend, so that in itself may scare her away.

 

ah so complicated, any advice is appreciated, as long as you don't tell me to "move on", cos i love this girl so much and have to win her back one way or another; sadly the way im having to go about it is difficult and immature

 

Giving her that necklace will be perceived as creepy and manipulative.

Both that and being friends with her are tragically bad ideas.

 

There is no winning someone back. People either want to be with someone

or they don't. You're 17 yo , you want be spending the rest of your life with

her - therefore stop feeding yourself that you love her so much and other

autodestructive BS.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

....no....

[Marco Valerio]

Don't be naive, you are only feeding your hopes, nothing more.

[d0nnivain]

I know you don't want to hear this, but you can't be her friend right now. Friends talk about their lives & get excited for each other when good things happen. Do you really want to hear all about the new boy she likes or discuss the progress of their relationship when all you want is to have her be your GF again? Of course not.

 

Take the necklace back. Do not get her anything for Christmas. If you can't do that give her a candy cane or at most a $1 plastic candy cane filled with M&Ms but nothing more.

 

Take your winter school break off. Lick your wounds. When you return to school start looking around for other cute girls. You will need a prom date come spring.