Found out ex got someone else pregnant while we were together...

[MarieRose913]

Hi everyone, I am going through something awful and I really could use some help, so I decided to turn to this forum.

 

I dated my ex for about a year. We were inseparable. We became very close and spent a lot of time together. I was introduced to all his friends and his entire family. I was deeply in love. On September 10th of this year he told me cheated on me and then dumped me immediately after he told me. He said he needed to work on himself because he was unhappy with himself. He hardly gave me any details about the cheating, but I even offered to give him another chance. I have been walking around completely devastated and confused and racking my brain for the past 3 months. I couldn’t figure out why he hated me. I even offered to give him a second chance, but he didn't want it. I couldn’t figure out why he kicked me to the curb out of the blue, I couldn’t figure out why he was so unhappy with me. I could not for the life of me understand how we had become so close, and then he just completely turned on me and never looked back. I was the best girlfriend I could possibly be, I have honestly never done one wrong thing to him. I was always so loving and so caring. Well last Friday I found out some devastating news that answers all of my questions…

 

The girl he cheated on me with, he got her pregnant. He has known this girl since high school, so about 10 years and they have a history of hooking up together. Apparently she has always been in love with him. And he works with her. The thing is is that he would ALWAYS text this girl, but I always thought it was work-related. I didn’t even know they were the same age! I trusted him whole-heartedly. In March we became Facebook official, one month later he deleted his Facebook. Well now I know the real reason why. When I asked him why he replied “It’s nothing to do with you, I just don’t like people from work seeing my business because all they do is ask me a million questions.” We were so close, I felt like part of his family, so that’s why I’ve been constantly asking myself WTF HAPPENED?!?!

 

When I got home Friday night, I looked at her Facebook (Yes I know DUMB move), she is visibly showing, and there is a picture of the two of them as her cover photo. They are sitting on the couch, cuddling and holding hands. They look like two peas in a freaking pod. Seriously, they look SO happy together. I thought this couldn’t get any worse, and it got a million times worse. I know that I should feel lucky that I have nothing to do with this mess and that this will help me in the long run. I understand that, everyone has been telling me that. But the pain is so unbearable right now. It’s worse than when he dumped me. I can’t even explain it. I wanted to be the one he goes to ultrasounds with, the one he picks out a babies name with, the one that rubs my feet and takes care of me when I am pregnant. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME. But it’s someone else. And it all happened while I was with him, right behind my back. He could've been cheating on me the entire time. Our whole relationship was a lie. I am so devastated, I don’t know how I am EVER going to get over this.

 

He just looks SO happy. That picture is what really killed me. He would always tell me that he wants a family. Well, he got his wish. Now he’s going to run off into the sunset with this girl and live a happy life and their gonna make a family and live happily ever after with the rainbows and unicorns. I just can’t even put into words what I am feeling right now.

 

Yes, I know what you’re going to say, it’s a blessing in disguise, this will help me finally let go, I finally got the answer to all of my questions. I know I will come to realize all of that, but it is just too painful now. I never in a million years thought I would be in such a horrible position like this. I went bananas that night. I called about 20 times, left 2 voicemails, and sent about 4 text messages, and got no response at all. Yes I know I shouldn’t have done that either but I couldn’t control myself. I am SO incredibly devastated because now I will have to go through the grieving process ALL OVER AGAIN. I have to start back at square one. I can’t believe how much he effed up my life. Yes I know many of u will say I shouldn’t let him ruin me, but I can’t help it right now. I still feel very fragile. I just don’t know how I am going to get passed this. He just can't be happy. It's not an option. He got someone pregnant while he was dating somone else. This baby of his was made out of pure deceit and betrayal. I also found out he is having a boy. He would always say he wanted a boy first. Now he's going to get what he wants. This girl that has loved him for years got what she wanted. They even live together now. He is sharing a bed with this girl every night. She not only has him, but his child. They will always have that bond. She has won. I know it is a terrible thing to wish unhappiness on people, but I will just DIE if he lives happily ever after with this girl. He cheated on someone that was VERY good to him, and this is what happened. I hope it continues to get worse for him. I hope this is a punishment for cheating on someone who would have given him the world. Of course I would never want someone like this as the father of my children and I would never take him back, but it is just so unbelievably painful for me right now, because I loved this man with all my heart and soul.

 

Sorry this is so long, I just need help

[PinkElephants]

That was not supposed to be you. You're supposed to get something better, and you will.

 

She got a cheater and a liar. She got him because she got pregnant. In the 10 years they've known each other he never committed to her for a reason. So she's happy she has him FOR NOW. And he's happy he's having a boy until he realizes he has to deal with her, the woman who was unworthy of commitment and who knows he's a cheater. How long do you think it'll be before she starts in with the insecurity and he bails?

 

They're not riding off into the sunset; they're f*cked. They're riding off into custody battles, child support, more cheating and fights.

 

You? You're free. He just set you free from wasting more time with the wrong man and now you have the ability to find someone better while she gets left with a turd.

 

Start a journal, post for support, take up a new hobby, do something amazing, travel. There's always a silver lining if you're aware enough to find it. Some of my most devastating break ups led to the most amazing experiences of my life. You're going to be fine in the end and now you get to reserve that love for someone who deserves it.

[PegNosePete]

I feel sorry for the kid.

[scatterd]

I am so sorry for your pain. You deserve so much better and you will find someone. This is not because of you its because he was broken and he cheated. He may do the same to her years later I would not wish that on anyone though. Marriage is hard but having to get married may bite her some men throw it in woman's faces years later. I believe things happen for a reason and he probably was not the man you are suppose to be with.One day you will look back and know why. It could be a blessing in disguise. Stay busy and talk to people that care. Big Hugs

[Doglover0261]

I am so sorry for your pain. You deserve so much better and you will find someone. This is not because of you its because he was broken and he cheated. He may do the same to her years later I would not wish that on anyone though. Marriage is hard but having to get married may bite her some men throw it in woman's faces years later. I believe things happen for a reason and he probably was not the man you are suppose to be with.One day you will look back and know why. It could be a blessing in disguise. Stay busy and talk to people that care. Big Hugs

 

I agree whole heartily. Things happen for a reason. That's the facts of life.

[acrosstheuniverse]

They're not riding off into the sunset; they're f*cked. They're riding off into custody battles, child support, more cheating and fights.

 

You? You're free. He just set you free from wasting more time with the wrong man and now you have the ability to find someone better while she gets left with a turd.

 

Fantastic post. And the first bit I quoted, is so very true. They are f*cked.

 

Nothing anyone can say will make things feel better for you right now, but I promise you eventually will start to feel better. The best thing you can do right now for your sanity and dignity, is to go complete and utter no contact with this jerk. Block him and her on facebook, stop tormenting yourself. The picture in your mind of them together and happy will fade, over time, but it will take time.

 

It hurts so bad, but look at the position they're now in. She has so little self worth that she's been willing to sleep with a taken man, minus protection. She is absolutely desperate, which says a lot about her worth and her character. She's managed to trap him and he's gone off with her because he knows he would have lost you anyway even if he'd tried to stay with you, once you found out the truth.

 

Yes he's a scumbag for cheating on you. But they're not happy, far from it. She's got him because she's trapped him with a brand new, beautiful, human little life, who deserves better than parents who created him in this manner. She's desperate enough to bind herself permanently to a guy who is a known cheater and who she knows in the back of her mind will cheat on her too, someday.

 

They're happy and smiling because they've made their bed and now they have to lie in it, and with a pregnancy you can't keep quiet, they have to act happy and prepare because the baby is coming, and it's hardly the time to be openly miserable and have all of their friends and family know the circumstances in which the child was conceived.

 

Please, please look to your friends for support. You will get past this and be so much happier than you were together, with someone who actually respects you. While, likely, they'll be split within a few years leaving her a single Mother and him finding it difficult to find a quality partner with a child, an ex and a history of cheating in tow.

 

I can't imagine what a horrible huge shock this has been to you, especially when three months have passed and you've already started to heal, you are back to the very painful square one, right where you don't wanna be. I implore you to cut all contact and allow yourself time to grieve. But please don't torture yourself thinking how happy they now are, because they're not. Like another poster said, he didn't choose to be with her in a decade, when he had plenty of chance. He's probably excited about becoming a Father but I'd bet you any money he's not thrilled it's with her, a woman who he could have had for a decade and never wanted. They didn't win. You did.

[No Limit]

Fall to your knees and kiss the ground in happiness that you didn't fall for someone like him. He fell for crazy and now has her clung to him like a leech forever. He can cheat on her all he wants - and he will, if he hasn't already - she's just going to be more nuts and he'll be worse off than before.

 

The only true victim here is the child involved, born for the sole purpose to pressure someone into a role he won't fill. Your ex must be a real prize if he sleeps with a lowlife like that and can't detach himself in a decade.

[Radu]

That was not supposed to be you. You're supposed to get something better, and you will.

 

She got a cheater and a liar. She got him because she got pregnant. In the 10 years they've known each other he never committed to her for a reason. So she's happy she has him FOR NOW. And he's happy he's having a boy until he realizes he has to deal with her, the woman who was unworthy of commitment and who knows he's a cheater. How long do you think it'll be before she starts in with the insecurity and he bails?

 

They're not riding off into the sunset; they're f*cked. They're riding off into custody battles, child support, more cheating and fights.

 

You? You're free. He just set you free from wasting more time with the wrong man and now you have the ability to find someone better while she gets left with a turd.

 

Start a journal, post for support, take up a new hobby, do something amazing, travel. There's always a silver lining if you're aware enough to find it. Some of my most devastating break ups led to the most amazing experiences of my life. You're going to be fine in the end and now you get to reserve that love for someone who deserves it.

 

100% true, every word of it.

[Clockwork]

So she is pregnant. Okay. I didn't hear anything about an engagement ring or anything. Is he even planning on making a commitment to be with her the rest of his life..........I doubt it. Or he would have within 10 years. You dodged a bullet, girl. Just remember that, and listen to the people who are telling you this. You cannot see the forest through the trees right now, but listen to the ones who are on the outside of the situation and can think more clearly.

 

 

You saw her Facebook. Big deal. No one ever puts a poor memory on their Facebook. We all know people who put nice big happy family pictures on there and they are rotten on the inside. Don't judge their happiness by what you see on Facebook, it isn't authentic.

 

But this guy lied to you, so learn from this and make your next relationship much better. I know it hurts right now, but it will pass as time goes on. The best way to get over someone is to meet someone else.

[road]

That was not supposed to be you. You're supposed to get something better, and you will.

 

She got a cheater and a liar. She got him because she got pregnant. In the 10 years they've known each other he never committed to her for a reason. So she's happy she has him FOR NOW. And he's happy he's having a boy until he realizes he has to deal with her, the woman who was unworthy of commitment and who knows he's a cheater. How long do you think it'll be before she starts in with the insecurity and he bails?

 

They're not riding off into the sunset; they're f*cked. They're riding off into custody battles, child support, more cheating and fights.

 

You? You're free. He just set you free from wasting more time with the wrong man and now you have the ability to find someone better while she gets left with a turd.

 

Start a journal, post for support, take up a new hobby, do something amazing, travel. There's always a silver lining if you're aware enough to find it. Some of my most devastating break ups led to the most amazing experiences of my life. You're going to be fine in the end and now you get to reserve that love for someone who deserves it.

 

 

You are only letting yourself see the pain of the break up.

 

 

Instead be happy because what you are free of.

 

 

Him.

[No Limit]

Is he even planning on making a commitment to be with her the rest of his life..........

 

I'm betting a McDonald's menu he'll be gone within a year after the birth. And I'm adding extra french fries he'll have cheated before that.