Person I'm seeing is multi-dating. How to handle?

[makeithappen]

The problem, if there is one, is that human emotions don't play by rules of contract law. Nor do they turn on and off like a water tap. All kinds of things happen and not happen largely regardless of what kinds of formal "commitments" one has made.

 

You can tell someone that he or she shouldn't be bothered that you're seeing other people, having sex with other people, making out, whatever, because you never made a commitment. Well, chances are they will be bothered (or not) independent of what you think they should be feeling.

 

Multi-dating does not involve having sex with multiple people at the same time!

[Versacehottie]

sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Effectively, you are asking for exclusivity, if you don't expect that she is talking and going on a handful of beginning dates with other guys. It's good that you have your position on how you want to date and voiced it. But she was honest and has her opinion. The opinions are in conflict. You can either choose to compromise or walk away from a potentially great person because you view this initial period of dating differently.

 

While I think in a way, it can be viewed as sweet that you prefer to focus on a person at a time, overall I think if I were in her shoes and you demanded it or were considering dumping me because of it, I would say "go right ahead". You want her to stop all other opportunities for herself for what "might" be. Yet if I'm reading between the lines correctly, you don't want it to be too serious or exclusive at this point. I mean it's a little ridiculous. Anyway, good luck. I hope you work it out.

[Leigh 87]

Every so often in life, you meet people where you think " hmm ok. Not only do I really like their personality so far, but I also feel too much chemistry and excitement to really be interested in dating others"

 

That is what I hold out for; I am happy being single for longer and simply enjoying one trusted FWB to get my fix if the no sex thing bothers me too much. It is better than settling for a man who I am not thrilled about (which would in turn, make me want to multi date.. I would want to keep open to a man who excited me more)

 

Out of many guys I meet, there have been just 2 in the past year that I had that instant excitement factor IN ADDITION to really liking their personalities and potentially feeling a deeper connection. It is a somewhat rare thing to find, but; when I have held out for that - it has always been mutual - the guy has always felt sufficient attraction and excitement surrounding the notion of dating me, that these guys ruled out dating others...

 

If you wait a little longer for something a little more special and instantaneous (where you both know right away that you could both be onto a very good thing) then it always feels great when you find that - it feels SO much better than meeting someone, thinking " they are cute and fun and intelligent, I will see them again and in the meanwhile, I will date this other really cute and sexy lady, geez I am spoiled for choice and it will be a toughie to decide which lady I like more!)

 

In short: I know what I want, and I rather remain single for longer, and hold out for the type of man where we both feel that we could be onto something deep to the extent where we just lose interest in others...

 

When you are not that into someone you continue to look elsewhere.

 

It is possible to be really into someone after the first date. It happens often. To many people. When you are really into someone after the first date, other people (when they text you especially) just don't generate anywhere near the degree of excitement and thrill you feel.

 

And I move on quickly from men, single dating doesn't push back my agenda! I saw a guy for about a week, met him twice and already we both seemed to lose interest! I am already onto the next who I met in real life as opposed to online...