lemon elderflower Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 hey loveshack, so my girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago, the first month it was me asking her to reconsider and trying to talk her into it. I quickly noticed it doesnt get me very far, so I stopped it, send her an email, saying that I accept the breakup and it would be for the best right now, because she is leaving in january for half a year. she said, she didnt want to lose me and wants to stay in contact. I told her how afraid I was of losing her forever, she said "it wont be forever, and you're gonna see me again" 1 month of complete nc between us, my birthday comes around and she sends me a really upbeat and happy message, complete with smileys and everything. well I did respond, after about 8 hours, saying "thank you, its very thoughtful of you :)" she didnt respond, but I took it as a sign that we can stay in positive (low) contact. so I waited more then 1 week, and texted her how she is doing and if everything's okay, dont ask me why, I just had to. She responded! She responded with a happy attitude, lots of smileys, asking about me. I was just trying to catch up. So after a bit of small talk I end the conversation and go to bed. So here comes my problem. She leaves in January for half a year, I wont be able to see her. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. I dont know, I really want her back. But I cant live with the constant confusion about whats happening between us. I really dont try to show that I want a reconciliation, but how can I handle this situation the best? Stay in LC? See if she reaches out? I know now is not the right time to reconcile, but I want to keep the door open if she returns from her trip. I was thinking about writing her a christmas card, because she really LOVES christmas, its her favorite time of the year, I dont want to buy her a gift or anything, that would be too much, but a little christmas card, would that be too much? I just want to show her I care about her :/ I dont know, I really dont want another girl right now, I dont even wanna try. Little Background: She is 19, I am 21 and we had a really loving and caring relationship for almost 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 What you want doesn't matter. Relationships always default to the one who wants out. Sorry. She broke up with you. Her saying you won't lose her & sending you an upbeat birthday message is her being inadvertently cruel by trying to be kind. She doesn't want to date you. She is offering you bread crumbs & actually making it worse. Every time she reaches out you go back to square one & dream that it will all work our & you will be in love again. Use the time she's away to heal. You need to stop having contact with her to get over her. You can't do that if you try in vain to be her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeGoesOnMan Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 the fact that she is leaving for 6 months is all you need man. let it be over and move on, why would you want to put yourself through additional heartache of 6 months of not seeing her hoping things are going to go back to normal? at least go total no contact for the 6 months and see how you feel. I don't want to be be insensitive here but I can almost guarantee to she will be "getting to know" a lot of new people during the time she is gone, if you know what I mean. take that same time to heal and possibly to get to know others as well. stay in strict NC, you seem to be aware of NC already so stay the course. Link to post Share on other sites
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