Problems with girl I like, depression, school, illnesses, and trying to help someone

[TheSilent1]

This all started a year ago. I liked this girl who was in most of my classes. She is a very nice and Beautiful girl. I decided it was no big deal. Just a crush that would go away with time. But it didn't. I just got even more attracted to her. But one day I overheard her friends talking about her. They were talking about how she had Bulimia and she had all symptoms. I got mad at her friends because something as personal as that shouldn't be said aloud. But anyway, as time progressed I kind of noticed her looking kind of skinny and also started seeing signs of Bulimia. I began to grow attached to her even more and kind of knew what she was going through (with depression).

 

I decided to forget about being shy and do something. But obviously its stupid to confront someone about this since its embarrassing. So I wrote her a couple notes that complimented her on stuff, made her feel good (did not dare speak of the other stuff). I even asked her if she'd like to do something sometime. I wanted to keep sending her notes and stuff just to sort of help her through the rough time.

 

But exactly at the same time, some of my EX friends decided to be funny and start telling people I liked this girl. And they started going up to her and saying awful things dealing with me and her. Unfortunately that happened right before she got those notes so she kind of took them in the wrong way. So now I am hated by her.

 

I just decide to leave it alone for now (even though I still like her) and focus on School. I still kind of watch out for her though because I know she's still depressed. At a dance, she was trying to throw up and I felt like doing something but I couldn't. Unfortunately my EX friends decided to bug her again. And it didn't go so well after that.

 

Well now its after summer break and I get back to school. I forgot about the girl all summer but I ended up getting depressed on my own and it took awhile to break free of it. Bad news is I find out the girl started to do drugs. This basically kills me just because I cared about her so much that I wanted to kind of help her as much as I can, just to see her hurt herself like that. I've had some experience with drugs (Family has some drug abusers) so I know how much they can hurt a person. I'm just sad that one of her friends could do that to her.

 

Unfortunately everytime I try to talk to her about it, her friends are around her ALOT. I try hard to find her alone so we can talk but I think she is still mad at me for what happened last year. She wont ever look at me, and in the hall way she makes it very obvious she doesn't want nothing to do with me. All this is kind of hurting me and I can't seem to stop it. This is kind of a huge problem for me just because I've never gone through so much for a girl before. My friends dont know what to do about all these problems (the drug abuse, Bulimia, the not talking to me because of my idiot friends, the fact I still love her). And I don't know what to do either.

 

If anyone took the time to read this, thankyou. If you can help me out It'll mean alot

[agnf666]

Well, the next time you want to talk to her. Tell no one that you are going to have a chat with her. You need to talk to her face to face with out her friends being around. I'm not sure how you will get this chance. If you see her alone in the hall. Just walk up to her apologize for your "ex friends" making all that stuff up. Then just carry a basic conversation. Just start of light. Don't ask to many questions. Once you have got to the point where she knows you and knows that your "Ex Friends" are douche bags then you may have a chance for something to develop. Just take it slow, but you are going to have to jump on it when you finally see her alone. I hope this leads you in the right direction.

[TheSilent1]

Thx. I'll try that but I'd like to know other people's input on this subject too.

[TheSilent1]

anyone have any more ideas?

[60sdreamgirl]

hey man! well what else do you know about her. personality, favorite movies/foods, favorite places to hang out? cos if you do, then u could invite her to do that with you, and then you'll have a chance to say "hey listen please don't take anything my friends said seriously, they can be really insensitive and im embarrassed by how they acted towards you" - let her know your true feelings but be genuine and strong, not all mushy or whatnot. act confident with what you are saying but very empathetic. show her with eyes and body language too that u really DO care. don't get into her bulimia cos that may be sensitive subject. BUT if u show her that ur sensitive that'll ease her pains. you can dooo it! don't stress. stress is an illusion! it's all in the head!

[TheSilent1]

Those were great thing for me to do. But unfortunately I'm shy when it comes to this type of thing and the other stuff I mentioned makes it worse. Even going up to her among her friends and asking to have a moment alone with her is kind of hard. I still dont understand how I managed to write those notes to her.