problem with mom

[resentful]

I'm having a bad moment right now because my mom is not talking to me. it was a stupid incident. She was giving me a pedicure when she accidentally pinched me, I reacted angry cause of the pain and told her that i was gonna do it myself so she got up mad at me and told me to not ask her for help. Well, this morning i said good morning to her and she answered me coldly. after that she is not talking to me and i'm starting to feel very isolated. it is not easy for me to go and apologized because she usually don't accept apologies. she gets resentful if i make a mistake. i really feel bad because i'm not perfect, i didn't treat her bad i just yelled with pain and decided to do it myself why can't she understands that i also need to speak my mind. please help how can i handle that.

[Miss Mojo]

it can be hard to swallow your pride sometimes and apologise to a family member for overreacting or getting annoyed with them. family's can often be among the few people who really annoy us because we live with them and are sometimes dependant on them. it's so easy to get annoyed with those you are closest to.

 

you obviously have a good relationship with your mother to be able to do girly kinds of things, such as pedicures, and to be so concerned about the reactions of this incident.

 

i'll try and put myself in your situation, and tell you what i would do if it were my mother. i'm close to her, but there are always times where we manage to get on each others nerves. i've even had to bite my tongue at the hairdresser's before when they've nearly pulled my hair out of my scalp whilst trying to comb it when wet!

 

how about if you approached your mum and said, "you're not still angry at me for yesterday, mum? i hope you're not". if she says she is and her tone is cold towards you, tell her you didn't mean to get angry, it just really hurt. tell her you understand she was trying to help. it seems to me that you weren't angry at her, the pain just took you surprise and you wanted to be able to control any pain factor so you thought you'd do it on your own. perhaps add a little "sorry if i gave you the wrong impression mum". try not to get too sarcastic. when i'm really upset with my mum, i sometimes get sarcastic and it's hurtful and not fair on anyone. i always regret it later.

 

i know some parents always expect the children to apologise to them. what's happened here is no big drama. in my personal opinion, i do think your mother is overreacting by being cold to you. it's almost how you as the child should be acting!!

 

but i think you're being smart by wanting to resolve any tension in the house. it's immature to let it carry on and play games with each other. i think you should speak your mind regardless (with respect of course), communicate with her and sort this out.