her1nonly Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Gf keeps saying, "I wanna move in with you!" when we're cuddling ect... I currently live with my sis, where we share a 2bed apt. I think about moving in together and the 'm' word, but not enought to take myself seriously. she's on much more different level. Gf asked me how much i think about it...i said, "seldom"...she got a bit embarrassed/hurt, and said she would refrain as much as possible from now on in mention 'moving in'. i don't know when (if ever) i'll take this relationship to that level... i have doubts...etc... Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Run buddy, run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 Sounds like a control freak or someone that is really looking for a more serious relationship. How long have you two been dating??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author her1nonly Posted March 24, 2005 Author Share Posted March 24, 2005 Originally posted by agnf666 How long have you two been dating??? off and on, but not serious until now...10 years Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA Ten years. Sheesh. You should be flattered. I wouldn't want to live with MY sister as an adult. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Originally posted by her1nonly off and on, but not serious until now...10 years Some people are so impatient. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 You have been dating on and off for 10 years. Why lead her on anymore if you don't want to go any farther then where it is at. I think you need to tell her your not ready for Marriage or for her to Move In. You need to step up and say something. That is way too long. She is really attached and is more then likely thinking about marriage. So, you two need to talk about that before this goes any farther. Link to post Share on other sites
CurvyGurl Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Oh.Wow. I don't know that I could hold on for that long. Woooo. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 I can't imagine that girl holding on for that long. She must really think that there is something going to happen in the future or she would have left by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Pendawn Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Well as a woman who dated someone for 11 years in the belief it would eventually lead to commitment (in my case marriage) only to find out in the end the guy "just couldn't see us married", I say tell her now you are not sure you will ever get there with her. i would think you would know after 10 years, if you're not sure now you never will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Originally posted by her1nonly off and on, but not serious until now...10 years YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!! In that case I should be telling her to run!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 10 years, and your saying i don't know when (if ever) i'll take this relationship to that level... i have doubts...etc... C'mon! Link to post Share on other sites
Donut Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 10 years is plenty enough time!! Talk to the girl about your doubts, with a serious view to making a commitment or let her down gently if you have to. Either sh*t or get off the pot for crying out loud. Link to post Share on other sites
elle naturelle Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 I am disgusted by your inconsiderate nature to lead a woman on for ten years. And to be the one posting something on here for advice, what are you thinking?! Let her go.... now! Link to post Share on other sites
MiamiMami Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 I was with a man from age 19 - 29 and he just strung me along and I wasted my chance at marriage and children, it took me a few more years to get over him and realize what had happened and how my years had slipped away. I wish I could box him in the face and I wish I had never met him. Sorry for sounding so angry, but it is all coming back. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 If they started dating at 15, that makes them... 25!! To the original poster: don't confond moving in with marriage. These are two different things. You can move in and not marry! On the other hand, you could confront your suspicions about the relationship you have with her. There's no point on leading her on. I on the other hand, think that unless you've lived with that person, you don't really know her... so maybe you could give it a shot. Just think a lot about it and don't let yourself get pressured into something you're not ready for, even if you've been dating for 20 years. I think you should have a heart to heart talk to her and be honest with regard to your insecurities about this relationship. Good luck, Curly Link to post Share on other sites
elle naturelle Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 COP OUT! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Sorry, English isn't my native language, could you please explain what that means? Why do you immediately presume tht she's being lead on? Women have brains too and are able to make their own decision. Men don't woo them into anything... The only thing I can tell him is to talk to her and to confront her with his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
elle naturelle Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 I agree, she can make up her own mind. As long as she is getting ALL of the right information in an UPFRONT and HONEST manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Stylin22 Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Elle, you need to back off the kid. Seriously. He even stated in the beginning that he has thought about moving in and MARRIAGE with this girl. Obviously he's struggling with it, as in posting here for an example, for some advice. Not someone who's gonna go GIRL POWER on him. That's where I see people turning others' posts into their own personal fight for justice...grow up. My logical thinking tells me that if he is struggling with all of this, then maybe he can't have a conversation with her about it. What would he say? Well, I'd like for this and that...HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT YET. Yeah, I agree 10 years is quite some time as well. But, relationships move at different speeds for everyone. The girls is also a player in this as well so you think she would have enough sense to draw some kind of line here, seeing the red flags. And, if she doesn't then that may have to serve as a life lesson. The best this guy can do is figure it out soon and stop wasting her time as well as his own. Because of the length of this whole thing, I'd say see a doctor fella...That is a huge red flag for yourself. Something about committment scares you...Most guys tend to dream about a girl who would endure such a thing, so it's time to shyt or get off the pot. Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Are you sure you love her? I don't think you do or you take her forgranted. Link to post Share on other sites
elle naturelle Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Quote: Obviously he's struggling with it, as in posting here for an example, for some advice. Not someone who's gonna go GIRL POWER on him. That's where I see people turning others' posts into their own personal fight for justice...grow up. Response: My advice it to tell her the truth, not evade. The only thiing he seems to be struggling with is the fact that he doesnt want to give her up in case nothign better comes along. Apparent in the quote "i don't know when (if ever) i'll take this relationship to that level... i have doubts...etc..." Well, let her know that, and when you figure it out go from there! Girl power? WTF? Not once have I said that its ONLY men that do this. In fact, I did it to a man for a year. Best choice I made, be honest with him AND myself. Personal fight is the last thing on my mind. This whole site is about communal input and opinion. Not here to fight. Hopefully in the end she doesnt resent him for the fact that he could have said something sooner than later, afterall, the only thing we loose in life of value is TIME. Link to post Share on other sites
Proto Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 Try to twist this anyway you want to, but being with someone for 10 freaking years and not steping up to the next level of commitment is pretty lame, seriously.... Link to post Share on other sites
very-confused-girl Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 Yes I agree with Proto but on the other side she is adult as well and it is really her stupidity if she is being strung along. I would not be with somebody for so long without having some indication that it would lead to something more serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Gemini02 Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 and they have been going out "on and off" for 10 years- not 10 years straight of a loving and committed relationship because if it was it wouldn't be "on and off" it would just be ON. I can see how he would have doubts because the relationship hasn't been bad enough at times that things were "off" all i have to say if you have to communicate better with each other and decide what's going to happen (or not happen) because you're BOTH wasting your time. Link to post Share on other sites
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