Lack of dateable women in real life

[Popsicle]

See above. Oftentimes you wouldn't have the slightest clue that some women are downright unhappy even though they put on the guise that they are happily coupled. But in reality, they are simply are bouncing around from subpar relationship to subpar relationship.

 

Thank you.

[GravityMan]

Most men and women are able to date and get into relationships quite easily. The ones that don't...their so-called "struggles" are usually self-imposed. In other words, they're getting in their own way. Usually by overthinking things. Your own mind can be your worst enemy sometimes.

 

Connecting intimately with someone else should be (and often is) one of the most natural things we experience in our lifetimes.

 

It's finding a good match that may be considerably "tougher". And a little luck may be involved as well. Some people find that person in high school while others don't find that person until they're in their 30s or older, after already being several lengthy relationships and dating many others in-between LTRs.

[Leigh 87]

Exactly!! Why is it such a crime to refuse to "settle" for someone you don't want to have sex with or don't want to spend your entire life with being driven up the wall.

 

I'm also a beautiful young woman with everything going for me. No, i don't want to date a man who i dont want to have sex with. I just want a man who works for a living, is kind hearted, trustworthy, attractive and comfortable to be around. And someone who I am excited about and cant get off my mind!!!! Yes, I have had a LOT of offers but I am happy to be alone until i find someone that I am interested in.

 

There are PLENTY of single people out in there 30s and yes baggage is part of being a grown up with experience. I also think a lot of these people are using past experiences as an excuse. The right man will instantly make me forget my heartbreak.

 

I am not beautiful but you know, I still feel like I would rather wait for instant attraction and chemistry if I am to actually DATE a guy.

 

I am single because I don't want to settle for one without the other; I want instant attraction and NATURAL chemistry that doesn't have to be manufactured through out "personalities" meshing months and months later!

 

I also want a true connection that results in a long term and fulfilling relationship.

 

The reason I think I am single is because: I do not want to have to look back on a future relationship and think : well, he didn't think I was anything special initially, but you know, he had to GROW to find me attractive physically:sick:

 

So. I want attraction PLUS a suitable partner.

 

That is why I am single. I get offers too but yeah, if I am not excited with the natural attraction and chemistry then I would rather just be their friend.

[guest569]

I am not beautiful but you know, I still feel like I would rather wait for instant attraction and chemistry if I am to actually DATE a guy.

 

If there is no attraction or desire to date someone, better to be single. Not sure why a lot of men here are arguing against that, i wouldn't like someone who says or thinks "you're just okay, but the best i can do, so here we are".

 

You just cant force certain things.. A relationship is one. There's just no point.

[LookAtThisPOst]

If there is no attraction or desire to date someone, better to be single. Not sure why a lot of men here are arguing against that, i wouldn't like someone who says or thinks "you're just okay, but the best i can do, so here we are".

 

You just cant force certain things.. A relationship is one. There's just no point.

 

But then there's the other side of the coin where someone always thinks "they can do better" the constant seeking of the bigger, better, deal.

 

I know of women currently in relationships with men that they no longer want to be with and are looking to Meetup to seek the next best thing before they dump their current boyfriend.

[JuneJulySeptember]

If there is no attraction or desire to date someone, better to be single. Not sure why a lot of men here are arguing against that, i wouldn't like someone who says or thinks "you're just okay, but the best i can do, so here we are".

 

You just cant force certain things.. A relationship is one. There's just no point.

 

The argument, or mine at least, is that the rejection is always about either looks, or some silly dealbreaker that has nothing to do with what the foundation of the relationship will be built on.

 

You need to go though a lot of fish to find someone compatible, and if you are rejecting at the early stages, you are not really doing yourself a favor.

 

It's like looking for a ring wrapped in one box out of a thousand, and you are throwing away all of the wrapped boxes which have ugly wrapping. You give yourself no chance.

 

And also, to each their own, but being with somebody makes me happy. Humans are social animals. This whole stoic "I'll stab my eye out with a fork before I date someone who is unattractive" is a little melodramatic, don't ya think?

[ltjg45]

It is true. And, it is also true for women 30+ that "all the best ones are taken". I try to tell young people this all the time who are more concerned with not being tied down and having fun. That's all fine and dandy but accept the consequence that this is what you will have to deal with later when you are ready to settle down.

 

This is why I have my stance that I just won't sleep with someone that I wouldn't consider marrying one day.

 

So far, that hasn't changed and, if I am able to get into a relationship with a lady I am speaking with right now, I would feel the same way Woggle is with his marriage.

 

People is telling me to settle but after experiencing my childhood and my life up to this point, I can't see myself ever doing that. If I am going to get into a marriage or even a relationship, I would ask for the best possible partner I can obtain.

 

While I may be a little past my prime, I do feel I am at an age where it is not too late. I certainly hope that is really true. Being at the age of 28 does feel a little old.

[Popsicle]

This is why I have my stance that I just won't sleep with someone that I wouldn't consider marrying one day.

 

So far, that hasn't changed and, if I am able to get into a relationship with a lady I am speaking with right now, I would feel the same way Woggle is with his marriage.

 

People is telling me to settle but after experiencing my childhood and my life up to this point, I can't see myself ever doing that. If I am going to get into a marriage or even a relationship, I would ask for the best possible partner I can obtain.

 

While I may be a little past my prime, I do feel I am at an age where it is not too late. I certainly hope that is really true. Being at the age of 28 does feel a little old.

 

You are not past your prime. You are at your prime. And good for you for not sleeping with anyone you wouldn't consider marrying. It's good to see that guys like you exist.

[lino]

Millions of guys like that exist. You call them just friends

[guest569]

And also, to each their own, but being with somebody makes me happy. Humans are social animals. This whole stoic "I'll stab my eye out with a fork before I date someone who is unattractive" is a little melodramatic, don't ya think?

 

No, i wouldn't stab my eye out with a fork but thanks for the image . Would you date someone who repulsed you, or at least does nothing for you in terms of arousal? I wouldn't. It's basically the first step in compatibility. And as I have said above, there are personality traits that are important to me. I'm certainly not creating stupid deal breakers. The desire is either there or its not.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Millions of guys like that exist. You call them just friends

 

LOL...Touche'!

[JuneJulySeptember]

No, i wouldn't stab my eye out with a fork but thanks for the image . Would you date someone who repulsed you, or at least does nothing for you in terms of arousal? I wouldn't. It's basically the first step in compatibility. And as I have said above, there are personality traits that are important to me. I'm certainly not creating stupid deal breakers. The desire is either there or its not.

 

People deprive themselves of better and happier relationships and even no relationships because they place so much emphasis on looks.

 

That was my point.

 

I can think of somebody very, very close to me who married a man who is kind of a d@uchebag because she just needed to have that physical type. If she could have relented on stupid sh@t like that, she could have found somebody much better for her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

People deprive themselves of better and happier relationships and even no relationships because they place so much emphasis on looks.

 

That was my point.

 

I can think of somebody very, very close to me who married a man who is kind of a d@uchebag because she just needed to have that physical type. If she could have relented on stupid sh@t like that, she could have found somebody much better for her.

 

Yeah, I've noticed quite a few women, sweet as pie, with an arsehole for a husband or a boyfriend to the point where the friends cannot stand him. Sometimes these arsehole boyfriends/girlfriends drive a wedge between families even.

[guest569]

Just not too sure why it bothers you, my point is that looks are important,. Dont judge me as some shallow person who puts a huge amount of emphasis on looks. If you wouldn't settle for someone hideously ugly and fat dont expect women to

[guest569]

I'm not one of these picky ones who has height requirements, race, religion, skin tone, hair colour etc,

 

i just want someone who attracts me. You cant deny the importance of attraction in romantic relationships and dating. Yet you all seem to be.

[ascendotum]

Just not too sure why it bothers you, my point is that looks are important,. Dont judge me as some shallow person who puts a huge amount of emphasis on looks.If you wouldn't settle for someone hideously ugly and fat dont expect women to

....correct, but in many easy going people's attraction foundation it doesn't have to get as extreme as this ^

T&A, a sweet feminine easy going nature and not being overweight goes a long way for plenty of guys.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'm not one of these picky ones who has height requirements, race, religion, skin tone, hair colour etc,

 

i just want someone who attracts me. You cant deny the importance of attraction in romantic relationships and dating. Yet you all seem to be.

 

If you're not sure, then try it.

 

Being a woman is basically like having the ability to try out 100 jobs without having to stick to any of them.

 

If you're not super attracted to a guy that asks you out, then go out with him any way and see what happens.

 

Don't instead sit on a bar stool and complain about how no men like you (when it's not true at all).

 

I believe it is a distinct and MAJOR advantage women have. And that is magnified online.

 

Men, on the other hand, can literally get rejected for a couple, or few years not even factoring in attractiveness or compatibility.

[MGX]

I am not beautiful but you know, I still feel like I would rather wait for instant attraction and chemistry if I am to actually DATE a guy.

 

I am single because I don't want to settle for one without the other; I want instant attraction and NATURAL chemistry that doesn't have to be manufactured through out "personalities" meshing months and months later!

 

I also want a true connection that results in a long term and fulfilling relationship.

 

The reason I think I am single is because: I do not want to have to look back on a future relationship and think : well, he didn't think I was anything special initially, but you know, he had to GROW to find me attractive physically:sick:

 

So. I want attraction PLUS a suitable partner.

 

That is why I am single. I get offers too but yeah, if I am not excited with the natural attraction and chemistry then I would rather just be their friend.

 

Sometimes people that you weren't feeling initially grow on you the more you're exposed to them. The one you ultimately wind up with isn't the obvious choice. This search for instant gratification could be getting your way.

[MGX]

Just not too sure why it bothers you, my point is that looks are important,. Dont judge me as some shallow person who puts a huge amount of emphasis on looks. If you wouldn't settle for someone hideously ugly and fat dont expect women to

 

I'm not one of these picky ones who has height requirements, race, religion, skin tone, hair colour etc,

 

i just want someone who attracts me. You cant deny the importance of attraction in romantic relationships and dating. Yet you all seem to be.

 

I think the attractiveness bar is lowered for men; instead of holding out for the Kim Kardashian lookalike of their dreams, reality will set in and they'll go for an average or plain looking woman, who could be 30 lbs. overweight, very small, skinny, flat-chested, etc.. OTOH, most women look for Prince Charming -- the best possible choice.

[guest569]

Ok, so pretend for a moment that what you're saying is true. That women are all soooo spoilt for choice but are all fussy, whilst men all struggle. (I notice its the same few men on these forums complaining). What are you going to to about it? Try to convert a few ladies on this forum to date men who they aren't interested in?

[guest569]

I think the attractiveness bar is lowered for men; instead of holding out for the Kim Kardashian lookalike of their dreams, reality will set in and they'll go for an average or plain looking woman, who could be 30 lbs. overweight, very small, skinny, flat-chested, etc.. OTOH, most women look for Prince Charming -- the best possible choice.

 

I'm not holding out for David Gandy. Why have you judged me as a shallow, fussy type?

 

I simply said i want someone who I find attractive and want to have sex with, plus other important personality traits. You cant argue with what i am saying because its just the basics to dating. I don't know how many more ways to say it. If a woman doesn't like you, it's nobody's fault, thats just how it is. You cant change that, and why would you want to? Her loss. Move on.

[ltjg45]

I think the attractiveness bar is lowered for men; instead of holding out for the Kim Kardashian lookalike of their dreams, reality will set in and they'll go for an average or plain looking woman, who could be 30 lbs. overweight, very small, skinny, flat-chested, etc.. OTOH, most women look for Prince Charming -- the best possible choice.

 

Sounds like another extreme from a known celebrity to a woman that has way below average looks, weight, and height.

 

Give me one in the middle, one that can look like a beauty queen when dolled up and yet still has a easy going feminine personality.

 

I guess what made these expectations so unusual is because we don't have that many women with it in the United States. Yet even browsing through a foreign dating site, I tend to find tons of ladies like this.

 

The difference between an average U.S. woman attraction and a foreign woman is huge. Even the few women I do meet that I find attractive is all foreign.

 

Besides, you can't have a happy relationship without the physical attraction anyway...unless you are asexual.

[MGX]

I'm not holding out for David Gandy. Why have you judged me as a shallow, fussy type?

 

I simply said i want someone who I find attractive and want to have sex with, plus other important personality traits. You cant argue with what i am saying because its just the basics to dating. I don't know how many more ways to say it. If a woman doesn't like you, it's nobody's fault, thats just how it is. You cant change that, and why would you want to? Her loss. Move on.

 

I'm just saying that maybe women's romantic goals should be a bit more realistic. Obviously, there should be some level of attraction, but the window for attraction is MUCH wider for men than it is for women -- which I was speaking on. A guy's great personality could compensate for his lack of movie star looks, but you'd never know this if you didn't give him the time of day.

 

How many current husbands or boyfriends weren't love at first sight?

[Leigh 87]

Sometimes people that you weren't feeling initially grow on you the more you're exposed to them. The one you ultimately wind up with isn't the obvious choice. This search for instant gratification could be getting your way.

 

 

The one YOU will end up with may not have been the obvious choice.

 

The one YOU and a few OTHERS end up with may not have thought you were anything special - they had to "grow" attracted to you over months.

 

They didn't think "hey they are cute" or " wow they are pretty" when they met you.

 

You are welcome to begin your relationships with indifference. I, along with many other women who end up in happy relationships - DO NOT date men who we have zero inclination to date - that is FRIENDSHIP - a man you meet and you have zero chemistry or attraction towards.

Plenty of couples were excited about dating one another from day one - they didn't feel indifferent. They were attracted. They WANTED to kiss on date one because of the natural chemistry.

 

So yeah not everyone ends up with their least obvious choice.

 

Besides - I don't have preference as to what race or what type of job the guy does - I am hardly being fussy here in wanting two things: instant attraction, excitement and chemistry with a long term partner.

Fussy is wanting them to have a certain job, earn a certain income, be a of a certain ethnicity and to be tall dark and handsome.. or something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THAT is why I am single - I CHOOSE to be single because I am happier single than I am forcing myself to date men I am not attracted to or excited about dating!

 

I have been single for a total of... a few months in the last 5 years.

 

Now I am choosing to stay single until I find what it is what I, myself, know makes me happy (after my long term relationships and various dating experiences). Women like myself know what they want in a partner and they are not going to date men just because we get offers.

 

 

 

 

Not everyone WANTS a relationship badly enough to date people whom we aren't attracted to and whom we feel zero chemistry with.......

[guest569]

I'm just saying that maybe women's romantic goals should be a bit more realistic. Obviously, there should be some level of attraction, but the window for attraction is MUCH wider for men than it is for women -- which I was speaking on. A guy's great personality could compensate for his lack of movie star looks, but you'd never know this if you didn't give him the time of day.

 

How many current husbands or boyfriends weren't love at first sight?

 

Like I've said, my goals are not unrealistic. It doesn't really matter what generalizations you make.

 

I generally have no problem finding a suitable partner. So why would i date someone that excites me so little, that i would rather sit at home and watch tv?