BillBonds Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 So I have a friend that I've known for about 8 years. I met her in college and ended up moving to the city we live in about 4 years ago. We have always been really good friends. I have always been attracted to her and she knows how I feel but says she can't do anything right now because she's in a serious relationship. She has a boyfriend that lives in another state and will be moving in with him in a few weeks. They have been dating for about 2 years and I have a feeling they are going to get married soon. I am having a hard time coping with her moving away. I am getting really depressed about the whole situation. We agreed we would keep in touch but I am sad because I know things will never be the same. Even if we were to hangout when she visits it would be with her boyfriend. I feel like I am losing both one of my best friends and a girl I real care about. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Get a bottle of wine, a candle and some good music. Light the candle and start drinking the wine. Start thinking about your friend. When the tears come, let them flow. Be super sad and reminisce for one night. In the morning you wake up and focus on your life, stay busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BillBonds Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Thanks I will give that a try. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 If it was ever going to happen with her, it would have happened. She did you a disservice by telling you basically "not right now," which left you hope. Usually when women do that, they're just letting you down gently. They shouldn't do it. If instead she'd said, I like you as a friend, but there's no chance I'll ever feel more for you," you might have been motivated to move on before now. Yes, you are losing a relationship. I'm so sorry. It was her choice and she made it knowing full well what it meant to your relationship. That's the reality. You may feel free to ask her to introduce you to any of her friends who might be single. Other than that, you just take the time and mourn, and then pick yourself up and know that this was never going to happen. Unrequited love sucks -- and it happens to all of us. I hope it never happens to you again. Try not to invest more in a person than they are returning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BillBonds Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 I would agree I would have thought if she did want more out of our friendship it would have happened by now. I do know she does care for me a lot as a friend. It is just hard deal with the loss of friendship. It sucks to lose someone you care about so deeply on multiple levels. I am happy for her though and I know she cares about her current bf a lot and I want her to be happy. Maybe I should just stop communicating with her for a while and try to pull back from the friendship. Her moving away will help me get over her in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 You do what is best for you. It probably isn't good for her new relationship to be friends with a man she knows is interested in something deeper, but if he doesn't know or doesn't object, then she may try to retain you as a friend. But if it just makes it harder to get over her, you just have to do what is best for you. I know that once you feel a bit better, going out with friends and beginning new activities to stay social and busy and have fun is really the best way to take the edge off heartbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
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