girlfriends weight gain cont.

[islandsurfer]

I posted as a guest under “clueless bf” with the topic “my girlfriend has gained a lot of weight” I want to thank you all for ur advice. It was helpful, and registered, in the hope of offering my advice to others. I also know I’m going to need more advice with my gfs weight especially after the last couple of days.

 

The post under clueless bf describes her weight gain. She is home for spring break and her sisters are teasing her about the gain. They are calling it the sophomore 40. This has her shocked cause it defeats her thinking of gaining 15 pounds. She kept ranting on the phone that it takes 5 pounds before going up a jean size and going from a size 2 to a 8, even if the 8’s are tight does not equal a 40 pound gain(but started to admit she might have gained more the 15 pounds). I agree with her but can see why they think she’s gained more. Being 5 ft 3 the weight is really noticible. That it is mostly body fat and her large thighs and butt and tummy are making her look a lil round.

 

She then started blaming me for not telling her that she was gaining that much weight. That I should have told her when her legs were getting cellulite and chunky. That I knew that the birth control pill would make her gain weight and still brought up having her go on it. She then hung up.

 

This upset me, cause it was a mutual agreement that before we had sex she would go on the pill. I have other female friends that didn’t have any problem when they went on the pill and how was I supposed to know it would make her gain weight.

[agnf666]

Get her to go on the patch or on the shot. This may help her out. The pill makes you gain wieght. Almost everyone I know that is on the pill has gain wieght. Maybe if she went off of them for a little while then she may start lossing wieght... who knows.

[JoL]

She is obviously trying to blame someone else for her weight gain instead of taking responsibility for it and doing something to reverse it. If the pill is the reason, why not look into another form of contraception? she should have read the packaging before taking it- it does say weight gain can be a side affect.

 

Basically if she wants to change her body and lose weight, it's no use blaming others for it- she needs to start a healthy eating regime and exercise. maybe then she can possibly shed some of the weight she has gained.

 

I know my weight goes up and down all the time. But i am never compelled to blame it on my boyfriend or friends or family! If they dont point out my weight gain it's because they dont want to upset me. Geez...if i gained 15-20 pounds i would definately notice by myself- without anyone needing to tell me! It's pretty hard thing to ignore!!

[islandsurfer]

Our little fight is over and of course our topic of conversation is back to her weight, well mostly she talks and I listen. I kinda hate not knowing what to say or not wanting to say anything, I just keep telling her that I love her that she looks beautiful to me. She knows her weight doesn’t change how I see her, she is just worried about what everyone else is thinking, which is understandable.

 

She doesn’t just blame the bc pill for the gain she now admits she has to blame herself too( I learned earlier today she might have others to blame also). She didn’t go on the pill to late October, at this time her size 4’s she bought at the end of the summer were really tight. Its just that after going on the pill she couldn’t lay off fatty food and its these fatty foods that made her get so much “fat” and cellulite on her. She’s just feels blah all the time and is embarrassed how she looks. She is already talking about what she is going to wear during the summer. She used to wear revealing clothes but now is very self conscious, mostly about her legs on how her thighs rub together and the cellulite on them. She thinks that once u have cellulite it never goes away, is that true.

 

Talking to her roommate today it seems that a few of her suite mates played a role in her weight gain too. Her roommate is on the larger side and I guess my gf would always say how easy it is to stay in shape if u eat right and go to the gym. The roommate has always had trouble staying on a diet and I guess my gf continual “bragging” on how fit she was and how easy it is to get in shape started to annoy her. When she saw that my gf has gained a little weight over the summer the roommate and 2 suite mates decided to try to see if she could gain more.

 

My gf never ate breakfast and always went to the gym. The suite started eating breakfast, lunch and dinner together and bugged my gf to go with them. Not wanting to be the loner she started to get breakfast with them and stopped going to the gym in the morning. The roommate knew my gf didn’t like going to the gym in the afternoon because it is very crowed and there are lines to use the equipment. If my gf didn’t eat lunch or dinner with me she ate it with them. They always had icecream after lunch and dinner and over time got my gf in that habit too. They would stay at lunch and dinner for as long as they could, taking away free time from my gf so she wouldn’t have time to use the gym, instead she would have to do school work and then want to spend time with me. They also got my gf in the habit of going on late night icecream runs with them when she was there.

 

One of the suite mates works at Dunkin Donuts and would bring back donuts which she would leave on my gfs desk. My girlfriend has always been a snacker. At first my gf would nibble on 1 donut a day, but now I guess she eats about 6 to 8 donuts daily. Over time my gf just got in the habit of eating a lot when she ate with them, and now she gets the icecream after lunch and dinner even if they don’t.

 

I was told all of this today over instant messenger today when I asked the roommate if cellulite was caused by fatty food and if it went away. The roommate said they figured at best they might get my gf’s size 4’s tight before she stopped eating with them. They are amused on how much my gf has gained but feel a little bad and stopped trying to get her to eat ice-cream and stopped leaving donuts on her desk a few weeks ago(saying that the suite mate can’t get free donuts anymore). But she says my gf snacks on chocolate candy all the time now.

 

I don’t even know what to take of this, and no matter how much I try not to believe it, when thinking about it, it makes sense because my gf did start to eat with them all the time this year. If it is true it makes me hate college meal plans even more.

[RecordProducer]

Whatever the reason, she needs to go on a diet. She will rather whine and blame you then stop eating. The pill is not the caloric bomb she eats, it's the food. Agn said almost everyone he knew gained weight from teh pill. Everyone he knows gained weight...period. Because there are so many fat women in the US. She can get off the pill and see if the pill does it.

Why didn't you tell her she had a cellulite?!?!? Has she ever heard of a mirrior?

[agnf666]

Originally posted by RecordProducer

Whatever the reason, she needs to go on a diet. She will rather whine and blame you then stop eating. The pill is not the caloric bomb she eats, it's the food. Agn said almost everyone he knew gained weight from teh pill. Everyone he knows gained weight...period. Because there are so many fat women in the US. She can get off the pill and see if the pill does it.

Why didn't you tell her she had a cellulite?!?!? Has she ever heard of a mirrior?

 

First I'm a female... Alot of people I know have gain some pounds on the pill. I wouldn't tell her she has cellulite though. that is horrible. She will be very upset to hear that. Since it's not the pill it could just be "depression" or something. She thinks that you will be with her no matter what size she is so she let her self go. Go to the gym with her... Help her eat healthy... that may help her if you support her!

[magda]

Um, does it matter? Ultimately your girlfriend is the one who chewed and swallowed. Just reading this topic gave me a headache. Tell your gf next time she's ranting about other people conspiring to make her fat that she should shutup and go to the gym.

[agnf666]

Originally posted by magda

Um, does it matter? Ultimately your girlfriend is the one who chewed and swallowed. Just reading this topic gave me a headache. Tell your gf next time she's ranting about other people conspiring to make her fat that she should shutup and go to the gym.

 

Thank god some one has said it other then me!!!!!

[goodnbad]

It might be like agnf666 said, it could be depression. Or it might be an eating disorder.

 

If your gf is eating ice cream and donuts every day, then that is going to add a substantial amount of calories to her day. And if she is also not doing her regular gym visits, it's a double whammy. She is probably adding a good 1500 calories to her day at least.

 

In any case, it's a pretty safe bet that she is just plain taking in more calories than she did before, and not burning them off. And she has got to be the one to change that. There are thousands (heck, millions) of women out there who are in the same boat. Some will lose the weight, some won't.

 

I'm glad you love her no matter what. This is the kind of support she needs. Whatever you do, DON'T make it an issue and don't make it worse by admitting that yes, she is overweight. As much as she says she wants you to be honest with her, every single weight-related thing you say to her will be remembered for life (and she will hurt a little bit every time she thinks back on it). If she is depressed, your 'honestly' will only send her deeper into a black mood.

 

Be an example to her. Have healthy habits yourself and encourage her to do the same, without making it look like you are doing it because she 'needs it'. Praise every little healthy move she makes. Tell her you love her no matter what, and that you are glad she is doing her best to find a healthy route.

 

Best wishes,

 

goodnbad