bathtub-row Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I'm always amazed that people jump on their soapbox about affairs when the spouse that was cheated on was abusive. It's interesting that cheating would be the topic that takes center-stage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Fair enough. I was wrong. But you know, it takes one by surprise when someone tells you that you are desirable and a beautiful woman, and wakes up something so deep inside. I didn't just have an affair to have sex with another man. In fact, I'm quite the opposite, I can't have sex without emotion and connection and love. I never played the field. This affair began after 15 years of all I have written about...weekends home alone while I sat waiting for him to come home. Time and time again asking if he'd like to go to dinner or a movie. I can count on one hand when we did. He always had somewhere to go, someone else's business to take care of, and years of telling me he was going to do what he wanted saying he didn't care how I felt, and I was free to do as I wanted. Then he came along. So I did. I was lonely and dead. Yeah I was wrong. But for a while I felt alive, valuable, and wanted. You need a divorce, not an affair Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 And you need less projection and more compassion. But don't worry, you're in good company. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 This can't be solved. You have to leave. Don't even try to have a normal discussion with your husband. The more you try it the more chances that he will start to physically abuse you. If he senses that he is losing his grip on you, he will be even more angry. Play it cool. Act as if everything is normal but carefully prepare the end of your relationship. Catch him by surprise. If he knows you will leave he will make your life even more hell. Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Women often believe that staying with an abusive man in the hopes that he will change is a noble thing. As someone who grew up in an abusive home I can assure this is not the case. Truthfully you leaving and living on your own with dignity and respect will cause your daughter and you to have more respect for yourself. It's scary at first but worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I would talk to him about the seriousness of the situation. It's good that he apologized to your daughter...but things like that are not normal. I wish you the best, I can't imagine. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts