JoshuaJames Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 So I just want to start off by saying that my girlfriend "promised" not to get drunk and cheat on me with another guy, but from what she told me she nearly did. My girlfriend has just come back from a ski trip in Austria. On the last night she apparently got very drunk and nearly went off with another guy to a different room to bang, make out or whatever. She got stopped by a friend who knew we went out and my girlfriend never went off with this guy. What I want to know is should I keep her. She hasn't apologised yet or anything but is she supposed to? I'm new to having a relationship and I don't know whether this is jealousy or an actual serious thing. She was drunk out of her mind to her information. What shall I do? Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Well one thing you know for sure is that she can't control her intake of booze and that will get her in trouble sooner or later. If she promised not to get drunk and cheat yet she had to be bailed out from doing so by a friend should tell you that she can't be trusted. She hasn't apologized because she thinks that a near miss doesn't count. Truth be told maybe she didn't sleep with him but she had all the intentions to do so and the booze didn't help matters. My advice is dump her and find someone who has a little better control over herself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 If your girlfriend even had to speak words promising not to cheat, then she's not a good girlfriend. Fidelity is something that should go without saying. That she took steps that would have ultimately resulted in cheating is just as bad as actually cheating to me. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 If you like having a girlfriend that will drop her pants every time she gets in touch with alcohol, keep her. Just know that there won't always be a friend around to "save" her, and frankly I don't see why that would be necessary - even when drunk she knows that it's wrong to cheat, she just wants to do it anyway to get even more fun on party nights. Just don't be surprised if you get cheated on. I promise you it will happen at some point. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 So I just want to start off by saying that my girlfriend "promised" not to get drunk and cheat on me with another guy, but from what she told me she nearly did. My girlfriend has just come back from a ski trip in Austria. On the last night she apparently got very drunk and nearly went off with another guy to a different room to bang, make out or whatever. She got stopped by a friend who knew we went out and my girlfriend never went off with this guy. What I want to know is should I keep her. She hasn't apologised yet or anything but is she supposed to? I'm new to having a relationship and I don't know whether this is jealousy or an actual serious thing. She was drunk out of her mind to her information. What shall I do? Please read the bolded area, should just about tell you everything you need to know. Her promise didn't last very long and doesn't appear to mean much. Drunk people know right from wrong, drunk people only go to another room with someone because they find the person attractive and don't want others to see them cheating on you because they know it is wrong. The fact that a friend stopped her still shows the intent to be alone with a stranger was still there and she acted on it, she was in the process of cheating when your friend intervened. You need to decide if being with someone you can't feel safe with when she is not with you is someone you want a relationship with? The fact that she feels so entitled that she doesn't have to apologize to you should be another warning. Looks don't make up for lack of boundaries. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I'd go no contact on her. I'd pretend she didn't exist anymore. She was going to cheat, & only her friend stopped her from doing so. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 "I was drunk," is no excuse for anything. Delete, block, forget. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Having a few drinks while out with friends is not an excuse to go off with another guy. Getting so drunk that you are out of your mind is indicative of a problem. The friend seems to have more sense. Perhaps you could date her. j/k you can't really date your EX's friends but you get my point. A few weeks ago I went to a Christmas festival with a female friend. My DH doesn't care for the festival. He was so happy that he didn't have to go, he offered to drive up & pick us up after so we could have a few drinks safely. We had a great time, shopping & having cocktails. At no point did either one of us feel compelled to go off with another man; neither of us got so drunk that we didn't know what we were doing but both of us would have been guilty of DUI if we tried to drive. The have to be boundaries & your GF can't be trusted to know where they are. This was a close call but it's bound to be repeated with less than honorable consequences. In a foreign country so drunk she was out of her mind, she's lucky she didn't become a crime victim. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 In addition to all the wise things are written in this post... You said she didn't even apologize. Not only she was on her way to actually cheat, she also broke her word to you by getting into this situation in the first place. So, I don't think you have a dilemma. because by letting it slip with no response, you give her a free pass to do it again and again in the future. Your message to her is: "no problem for me if you get drunk and go fu$k another guy... see, you did it and I still love you and wants to be with you even if you show no remorse" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 On the last night she apparently got very drunk and nearly went off with another guy to a different room to bang, make out or whatever. She got stopped by a friend who knew we went out Although she was stopped by a friend just before going off to bang this other man (OM), to get to the point that both of them had made a decision to go and have intercourse, her interactions with this OM leading up to this were the actions of a cheater. To get to the point that they both were so sexually worked up that they had decided to go to a room to bang, prior to that there must have been heavy flirting, inappropriate touching, hugging, and probable kissing, as people do not go from zero to intercourse with nothing in between. She did not almost cheat. She did cheat, she just was stopped before having intercourse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JK79 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I'd speak to the 'friend' who stopped her and get the story from their side. She has been 'honest' in telling you about it or something that happened (or didn't) - but is that because the 'friend' who stopped her was defintely going to tell you anyway or because she was doing the 'right' thing by you or is this more about possibly making you jealous? Does she not think she has done anything wrong? Is she really into your relationship? If she genuinely does not think she has done anything wrong then she would never feel the need to apologise. If someone thinks getting drunk and going off to do something with someone is not wrong then maybe you are better off out of it. But did this event even happen? If she knows it is wrong then surely she would apologise and feel the need to make you feel better about her actions - past and future - in which case everyone makes mistakes and you should work on it and not walk away. However, unless she realises she has done something wrong and takes actions to stop it from happening again, I'd be inclined to think she doesn't really care and probably wants YOU to break up with HER to save her the hassle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Your gf is trashy, dump her. She did not cheat on you THIS time. In the past, who knows if her friends have been there to stop her? Or if they will be there in the future to stop her? Do you really want to be with a girl who needs to be chaperoned by her friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Tonight, I am going to promise to not have beer and murder people. But if I murder people, it's because I had beer. Therefore, I cannot be held responsible for my actions. Cops can't arrest based on that, right? Good god, man, if you HAVE to ASK what you should do, then you deserve this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
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