laelithia Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hi everyone, Very long story short, I ended a 6 year relationship over a year ago, and kind of jumped into a rebound relationship (didn't think that was what it was at the time). After that didn't work, I began my quest for online dating. First I tried Tinder, and all that provided me with was men completely after sex and 1 real heartbreak that I'm still getting over now. I then moved to OkCupid, and after meeting a few guys, no real spark was found. I recently did meet someone who I was very interested in, but it seems he is playing the field right now. Overall, I would say my year long OLD journey has not been positive. I would like to meet someone outside of that, but I'm not sure where or how? Here's some background about me. I'm 25, almost finished my masters degree, working in a professional field and career wise I'm pretty set. I live on my own in a new apartment building, I have a good social life with many feiends (mostly couples though) and I have hobbies and interests I enjoy. I have been told by many people I am attractive (I'm half Asian and half European, people seem to think that's exotic) and in good shape. What in the world am I doing wrong that men don't think I'm long term material?? Haha Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Hi everyone,What in the world am I doing wrong that men don't think I'm long term material?? Haha Why are you jumping to that conclusion? You dated a guy from Tinder, and that didn't work out. You met guys on OKC, but there wasn't a spark. You met a recent guy, but he's interested in playing the field. Why make this about you? It's not easy to meet someone you're compatible with who wants the same things you do where there's also a mutual spark. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author laelithia Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Why are you jumping to that conclusion? You dated a guy from Tinder, and that didn't work out. You met guys on OKC, but there wasn't a spark. You met a recent guy, but he's interested in playing the field. Why make this about you? It's not easy to meet someone you're compatible with who wants the same things you do where there's also a mutual spark. I just figured at this point, I'm the common denominator. I've dated 4 guys since then and almost all of them have found relationships with someone else at this point, and I have not. I figured it had to be about me Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I just figured at this point, I'm the common denominator. I've dated 4 guys since then and almost all of them have found relationships with someone else at this point, and I have not. I figured it had to be about me How could any of us possibly know if there's something about you? Even if there is, going 0 for 4 doesn't mean anything. It just means you weren't right for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Here's some background about me. I'm 25, almost finished my masters degree, working in a professional field and career wise I'm pretty set. I live on my own in a new apartment building, I have a good social life with many feiends (mostly couples though) and I have hobbies and interests I enjoy. I have been told by many people I am attractive (I'm half Asian and half European, people seem to think that's exotic) and in good shape. What in the world am I doing wrong that men don't think I'm long term material?? Haha You've only mentioned superficial things about yourself, therefore we can't give much advice if there is anything wrong with you. My only comment related to this is that maybe you are only focusing on just that with men, the superficial. Your search for a man on Tinder and OKCupid, sort of suggests only superficial pursuit. This of course may not be the case, at least not entirely, but it is something for you to consider. If you are looking for a long term relationship, you need to emphasis your personality, your desires, goals, interests, and a values, not that you are young, educated, and exotic looking. Any man looking for a serious relationship worth his salt will not be attracted to you unless you offer more beyond the superficial. So what do you have? I just figured at this point, I'm the common denominator. I've dated 4 guys since then and almost all of them have found relationships with someone else at this point, and I have not. I figured it had to be about me Don't completely take the blame. Being the common denominator is a misnomer, and unjustly devalues you. Everyone has flaws that they need to work on, especially if they are big ones, such as alcoholism, addiction, emotional instability, etc.. But you also have merits, which you need to express and illustrate too. Link to post Share on other sites
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