Ethics and feelings of Guilt

[dakman]

Hi guys,

 

Maybe you can help me out. I grew up around a dad that really had poor ethics and was never really a good role model for me to learn ethics and whats right and wrong. Ive gotten really confused lately about ethics and ive begun to think of ethics all the time. And when i do i get these strong feelings of guilt if i see something as unethical based on my constrewed ethical beliefs. Im not talking about major ethical dillemmas (like stealing or cheating etc) im talking about small stupid things like littering a cigarette or not returning a pen to a person i got it from. I've been studying ethics and ethics philosohies like utilitarianism, egoism to try and help me justify actions. What is a good rule of thumb that you guys use to judge if something is ethical? Also, is it normal to constantly and consciously judge if something is ethical or right or wrong? I keep questioning my self if im right and wrong its holding me back from having peace of mind. Any suggestions ?

 

Thanks for your help- dk

[life loser]

That's what makes you human

 

Seriously, though you may be thinking of larger issues about your father, and the ethics dilema is just a manifestation of them

 

I wouldn't worry until you start breaking the law

[dakman]

Yea i guess your right... see im 18 and i went through crap like having my dads house investigated by DA for fraud and it wasnt my fault.. They seized my computers and alot of my stuff. It really effected me cause i looked up to my dad for so much. Hes not in jail or anything but he doesnt do the most ethical business practices. So on all the poor qualities ive learned from my dad i just dont trust him from all the laws he's broken and peoples hes screwed, so ive had to come up with another belief system. thats why im trying to find some guidence.. what are your thoughts on ethics? or what do you think ethics means to you?

[laRubiaBonita]

my general rule is the "golden rule" do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 

it is a great sign of maturity when one can recognize that just cause others act a certain way, it does not make it right.

 

try not to let yourself get overly stressed about what you have no control over, like world peace, and do what you can, like allowing traffic to merge.

[dakman]

Yea for some reason though i worry about small stuff like "littering a gum wrapper" and i feel like its not right to justify my actions. so for some reason i resolve to feelings of guilt. Am I supposed to shrug small stuff like this off? Or maybe i have the whole meaning of ethics mixed up with something else? I tried applying the golden rule but it only applies to people. What about things that don't effect people really and aren't necesarily ethical like littering a gum wrapper or downloading music from the web? is that a matter of ethics?

[laRubiaBonita]

i did not say shrug the small stuff. i said do what you can, like not littering, paying for your downloads, ect..... do not compromise your values.

 

the golden rule can loosely apply to everything.

 

just chill out, think, observe, maintain your ethics and values. things will settle down as you learm more, age, and adopt your own ideas.

[pseud]

I think you are confusing morality and ethics; you learn ethics from your culture, and most certainly you did not gain a sense of ethics from your father alone. Perhaps your own understanding and application of ethics (your morals) are skewed, but I am certain that you have an understanding of the larger framework by which society is governed (ethics).

[dakman]

Thanks for all your help guys... I really appreciate it

 

Its weird cause I always judge my own actions (and others too on occasion) and feel like I have to double check what i do. I feel like in my head i have a rocking chair back and forth saying is this ethical? is it unethical? and if i feel its unethical i feel guilty. but i feel like im overanalyzing ethics on stuff like littering a piece of gum etc.

 

I donno if its because im discovering myself since im only 18 and I had this crap happen to me to make me challenge my belief system. (DA raiding my dad's house for his unethical actions etc)

 

I've talked to friends and they recommended using the utilitarianism or consequence based reasoning for ethics . Is the consequence going to do more good than harm etc... They recommend not having to do this conciously all the time but for big things I can use this to determine if something is ethical and unethical.

 

Then I've also heard that ethics and how i should base my ethical reasoning should be based the current societies feelings about what the situation is. or Cultural Relvatism.

I feel like everyone has there own interpretation for ethics. Isn't there like a Most popular form people use to determine if an action is ethical or unethical? I feel ethics is like religion so many different interpretations...

 

I think this is how im going to think of ethics:

 

Consequence based reasoning:

Most amount of Good and Least Amount of Harm

(so in this case littering a piece of gum isnt a big ethical delimma cause the convenience of littering is more than the amount of harm its causing)

 

As far as doing this type of reasoning I think I can trust my natural instinct in knowing if something is right or wrong most situation especially small ethical delimmas (littering a piece of paper if no trash can is present) etc. And for large ethical decsions i can use the type consequence (more good/least harm) reasoning....

 

What do you think guys?

 

Thanks for your help -dk

[moimeme]

(so in this case littering a piece of gum isnt a big ethical delimma cause the convenience of littering is more than the amount of harm its causing)

 

But if everyone drops a piece of gum then the sidewalk is covered with gum and other people's spit, which makes the sidewalk ugly and unhealthy. So there is harm. Some people think there is no harm if they commit fraud because 'the big companies make a lot of profit anyway'. So you see utilitarianism isn't that simple. If what you're looking for is a simplistic set of rules to govern your behaviour, you won't really find one. It's going to take you some time to decide your set of values.

 

The internet and your library are great sources. Keep reading about ethics and values and you'll soon pick a set that fits you - not one that your friends choose for themselves.