Why do Less and Less Women Want Marriage or Even a Relationship?

[Donate]

I think more women are realizing they are damaged and can not sustain a relationship with a man.

 

This leads them to fall in love with a pet.

[Under The Radar]

I think more women are realizing they are damaged and can not sustain a relationship with a man.

 

This leads them to fall in love with a pet.

 

Is the pet male or female?

[Donate]

Is the pet male or female?

 

Well I have known more than one female with MALE dogs.

 

At least one LOVED her MALE dog.

[Under The Radar]

Well I have known more than one female with MALE dogs.

 

At least one LOVED her MALE dog.

 

So, women DO love the male species.

 

Guess we can all lighten up

[denise_xo]

Historically, people have married because

 

-it was a transaction between different families

-women weren't financially or politically independent

-it was the only way to get regular, legitimate sex

-it was the only way to exist in society and be socially respectable.

 

None of that applies anymore in contemporary western societies. So, what incentives do we really have to get married today? No one's going to marry if they don't see a value added. The whole concept of a marriage based on love is very recent, and, considering divorce stats, isn't working out that well ("I'm not in love with him/her anymore").

 

Having said that, the vast majority of both men and women in my social circles are married, or in long term, established relationships. The general attitude seems to be wanting to establish a family with a compatible partner and raising children together.

[toolforgrowth]

Here's a male point of view.

 

I don't want to get married again. Been there done that. My GF has never been, nor has any desire, to ever get married. It's one of the reasons why I'm with her; we both believe in committed relationships without the legal mumbo jumbo.

 

Marriage does not add value to my life. It was Hell on earth for me and the cons far outweigh the pros. I'd rather just live with my partner and call it good.

[BlueIris]

A friend of mine and I were talking about this last night, and why she and I are reluctant to marry again. We’re both age 50+ empty nesters. One of the factors in marrying or living together, versus living on your own and being in an exclusive committed relationship, is whether he’d be a good roommate.

 

We raised kids and took care of homes so we have it down, and we care about our living environment. But there’s a tendency in about half of the men in our age range to see women as caretakers, being responsible for making a pleasant home, caring for the home, laundry, cooking and shopping. This group of men view themselves as reluctant helpers rather than team mates and equally responsible partners, much like our children were. It’s not the work so much as the attitude, the dynamic that can start feeling very mother-child with a certain segment of men.

 

If you’re tidy and routinely attentive to the tasks of home and meals, someone whose home is neglected or worse just doesn’t have good roommate potential. (Oh, man, some of the men's homes I've seen! shudder!) He might be great boyfriend material- nice, fun and interesting- but living with him isn't an exciting prospect. It might not be the deciding factor, but it is a big factor at my age.

Edited December 23, 2014 by BlueIris

[most_distant_galaxy]

Having a husband and a family is one of my dreams. But that doesn't mean I would marry just anybody... Even have a long term relationship and move in with anybody. Im quite picky because we're talking about running a home together, maybe raising children together, potentially spending a lifetime together, going through difficulties together. So all of this also has an impact in relationships. I wont stay in a relationship with someone who doesnt have this potential in my eyes. This is the reason why my latest relationships were shorter. The men were nice and everything, but we didnt cooperate well.

 

Funny coincidence, I was thinking today that I'd like to adopt a kitty.... i have a soft spot for black ones, gender doesnt matter.

[Frank2thepoint]

So whilst Belinda can sit and wonder why no man ever chose her, Boris is to blame for his lot, because he never got off his ass to fight for the woman of his dreams.

 

Okay, I understand this. Let me rephrase my question, using your example. What if Boris does get off his ass, does chase, and in all his wisdom does pursues after a woman that reflects his interests, personality, and compatibility. But nothing long term ever comes of it? Is it still his fault? Is he the sole inheritor of the blame for wanting a serious relationship?

 

 

And Frank, in your case it is 100% your fault, there is no shared responsibility. And yelling at CALOVELY isn't doing much to change or improve that.

 

Use of caps is yelling in written form. I made an equal reactive statement. The only thing that is 100% my fault is entertaining your post.

[hotpotato]

Well I have known more than one female with MALE dogs.

 

At least one LOVED her MALE dog.

 

I love my male weenie dog. Hes so awesome!

 

 

Hmm back to the question. When I see a relationship, I see a lot of things id have to give up. A relationship is not a net gain for me.

 

I live a more or less peaceful life. Worrying about a bf is one less thing I have to worry about.

[hotpotato]

Also, I can fill up my schedule from sunup to sundown. Id have to find a way to squeeze a man in somehow. Ive read this is common for a lot of perpetually single women.

 

I live in the most obese state in the nation, that doesnt help my prospects. Part of my problem is my location. Sometimes I get around this by dating people from other states (I live near military bases).

 

I think if I lived in Socal and could have less hobbies, maybe id want to date more.

 

Someone asked me about dating again. I said, "For what?" Their jaw hit the floor. I guess the bennies of dating and mating arent so obvious to me.

[Robert]

Thread closed - Happy Holidays!