Falling for Ex GF

[lostin14]

Hello !!

 

I'm new up here. With a quick visit I got very impressed with this site so I hope you guys can give me good advice on this "little problem"

 

I am currently dating a girl from another country that is totally in love with me. We've met at my home town, we started to talk online after and we grow this online friendship relationship. It started short after I broke-up with my ex. This break-up was because I was immature, and not ready for really relation yet. But it was a "respectful" break-up and after I realized I had been stupid and suffered a lot, we became friends.

 

Meanwhile I had other short cases with other girls, she (the the foreign girl) had a boyfriend, she broke-up with him and came to visit me. She declared her feelings then to me and after some months i visited her and we started dating. All mostly by her initiative, we can pretty much say she is "driving the relation". We kept this long distance relation for some months with some ups and downs until she come here to live and study for one semester, because of me. Meanwhile my ex was dating another guy and all this last aproximately 3 years.

 

After this period I have already met my GF's parents, she met mine, and she started to talk about living together and marrying. Everyone is thinking it's goin to happen sooner or later. My parents consider her part of the family already. She treats me like a king and everyone likes her.

 

The problem is that my ex broke-up with her 3 year bf, and she is strugling in her new relation attempt (which eventually led to nothing). In the middle of this events we have met and talk some times, and we have a healthy friends relation, off course special because i forgot to refer she was my first. In the last meetings this old chemistry is getting back and I'm feeling very happy and good when im around her, so is she. This came to a point were we get very close and in the verge of getting physichal, at least of my perspective. I think i can be falling for her the time stops and we just don't want to separate. My problem here is I come to a point were I think I love my actual gf, not sure if the feeling remains now regardless we are more close than ever . But I never had actually fall for her. With my ex I think I am, but maybe i'm still completely friendzoned....

 

What should I do?

Thanks for the attention

[Gloria25]

I say you should get back with your ex-gf.

 

I mean, you said she was your "first". I'm sure for that reason alone, she walks on water.

 

You will get all you deserve when you get back with your ex, I'm sure of that.

 

Good luck.

 

BTW, very classy of you to be keeping in contact with your ex on the "down low" while having your current gf meet your family (and vice versa) and making plans with her.

Edited December 22, 2014 by Gloria25

[EgoJoe]

You're walking a thin line between betrayal and honesty with yourself.

 

 

Seek space between all parties involved and clear your head or you'll end up with regret or denial. None of these paths need be taken if you allow yourself some time to think.

[lostin14]

@Gloria25 I sensed a bit of irony there . I know I`m an *******

that`s not the point here. I stayed friends with my ex cause she wanted

and after i started going out with other persons

i realized it was good having her as friend and that she is important. so we just had a normal friends relation. So do you really think i should go back to her

Immediately?

[dumbass2]

It sounds to me like you need to stay away from both girls because you don't know what you want. The girl you are with sounds like she is totally in love with you and you are leading her on because of the thoughts you still have about your ex. Go ahead and try to get back with your ex and ending up hurting yourself and everyone else involved. You have to man up and be responsible here. Make the decision to break it off with your current girlfriend (who sounds like she deserves better then you at this point) and go full steam in to trying to get back with your ex. Do not play both of them. Make the wrong decision and you'll end up with neither and alone.

 

As mentioned by EgoJoe, you really should not be involved with either right now because of where you are at emotionally.

[lostin14]

thanks for the advice

[EgoJoe]

Every player eventually gets played.

[Popsicle]

Proximity is king. An attractive woman/man who is available and near you in proxmity will always win over an attractive woman/man who is long distance. It's because you can see, and experience them in person with your senses and that is more "real" and will always win out. Go with the ex-GF, but ONLY if she truly wants to go with you too. There was a reason you two broke up. Is that reason still part of your dynamic?

[lostin14]

@EgoJoe I see your point. But I`m not playing

so i can stay with both. I`m with a person and suddenly

I started having feelings for another who is my friend. The thing

is this can only be a strong connection born for what

we had in the past , i don`t. know. There`s always be attraction of course, and

admiration but is that something substancial at all to be sure anything more

than friendship...

[lostin14]

@Popsicle I`m not sure if I get the question. When I broke

up with her was because I was not ready to have a relationship. I b

roke her heart and eventually I tried to get back. then we became friends.

the reason we break up is not at all an obstacle for me. Although

I`m nit sure if. It`s clear ans solved im her head.

 

Regarding my actual Gf she is no longer long distance.

She is living here now (but in other city) for the semester and we were

thinking in livin together...but i agree with all what you said.