DesiredUsername Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I hate that men are so confusing and I also hate the fact that I just don't "woman up" and make a bolder advance. So, he's my boss, I am married, he is 21 years older than me and single. Don't judge on me being married it's allowed (complicated )but allowed for me to pursue things sexually. So he seems either extremely shy or just very friendly and not interested. He's a new boss for me and I work out of his home. I work solely for him so I don't see how he interacts with others. Which doesn't help this. We sort of texted about a hobby and I (liking him) made little comments like hey you should teach me how to do this hobby better and what not. He seemed very excited and mentioned he'd be home and alone most the time these next couple weeks and I was more than welcome to come by any time to use his hobby equipment even if he's not there....but looks forward to seeing me. Also previously when I was at his home when he was there he makes small talk and even offered me an alcoholic drink. I am really physically attracted to him. I don't know him that well but from what I've heard and what I've seen so far he is a very very nice guy. We have quite a bit in common. I really want to develop something here, like a friend with benefits as my sexual attraction is to the extreme with him but we also have so many of the same interests. I'm also worried to put myself out there. I would like to be subtle yet obvious if that makes sense. He is my boss, and I would feel like an idiot if he was just a nice guy. What do you think? Do you think he may be interested? Is he shy or leary because I'm married? I'm confused and I can't take it lol. How could I further help advance this without looking too obvious or looking like an idiot if he totally is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 (complicated) That's code for moral obligation, decency, right? Sorry to be insulting, but you sound like a mess. Why is a "married" woman asking such puerile questions about men? Link to post Share on other sites
Tonic Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Sorry i dont condone cheating, its a very low acted. My advice would be to speak with your husband and sort your **** out.. if you are no longer satisfied with your current husband - Leave. Save the heart ache that will come and just end it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DesiredUsername Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 I think you all are misunderstood. My husband is fully aware of my attraction and ok and encourages it. We have a different kind of marriage than most. He even thinks my boss is attracted to me but, I don't want just his opinion. I just want opinions and advice on how I should amp this up to see if anything could happen. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Speaking as a guy, perhaps his age or older, who has interacted with many younger women, some in the realm of business, here's my take: 1. He may have children your age. I don't but still view women that much younger than myself as I would my own daughters. That can be an inhibition for some men. 2. I don't fraternize with employees or close clients. Friendly and engaging of course, but don't mix business and pleasure. I'm loathe to even consider employees of customers. I have a current example running right now, of someone I met (employee of customer) while she was married, now divorced. We've had a running interaction for some time and I'm very familiar with the signs, at least those a woman exudes when she desires attention from a particular man. She's younger (18 years, to be precise) and works for a customer, so I don't act on any interest I might have. I definitely wouldn't have while she was married. The man in your situation has his own milieu and my examples may be potentials but not necessarily true for him. Since you'll interact regularly, let it play out. Generally, sexual attractions pass if not acted upon. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 "Boss, where would you like me to put these papers?" "There is fine." "Y'know, I was sorting my husband's laundry the other day and I found another woman's set of bloomers. Ever since our open relationship began, where we're allowed to be with other people, I don't mind doing his ladyfriend's bloomers." "That's nice." "It even gives me great ideas about what sort of bloomers men like on a woman." "Jolly." Link to post Share on other sites
Author DesiredUsername Posted December 22, 2014 Author Share Posted December 22, 2014 Unfortunately I won't see him regularly. I work for him, but we have different schedules. It's complicated. Though I admit since he invited me over any time just to escape from my stressful life...im trying hard to think of an excuse to come by. Link to post Share on other sites
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