DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Ok I'm the first to admit I was wrong I've no problem holding my hands up I deserve all the "I told you so's I have coming" ? Ok I was doing ok with not contacting Ex had no desire to I went out last night had a few drinks and woke to a horrible hangover Basically about an hour ago I txed( yes I broke) she said hi etc Basically she said (I pushed a little) that she had been out with a guy and that it had moved onto them sleeping together - well I'll tell you what guys I feel like I've been punched in the liver full circle all the work of put in GONE!! I'm a D**k - I just don't know what to say I keep getting an image of her with him and it's making me physically throw up - is this normal? I basically said its best to axe it - I said to her I'm deleting Her number I've deactivated my Facebook - is this what you guys would suggest ? And what now obviously I can't contact her but how do I stop the thoughts I hate this BS I've never felt so let down obv I knew she would move on but its **** - I don't wanna hit the bottle & now Xmas is hete it's even worse So how do I get this crap out of my head ?? Any help would be appreciated the throwing up sucks ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I'm actually More livid like so angry I've never been angry with her but now I am I wanna scream so loud Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Block her from any form of communication, any triggers/reminders and stay NC. Everything is still raw so it's going to be hard to stop the thoughts. Only thing you can do is try to distract and stay busy. Be around friends and family. Alcohol is a depressant. Unless you want to feel even worse, stay away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Is this rage normal ? I feel like my head is gonna burst through pressure? Is anger good ? For now ? I can't contact I've deleted number and deactivated FB triggers?? What do you mean ? Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Well she obviously wanted you to be jealous. Sounds like a real winner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I asked her to be fair but I'm so angry it's made me violently sick I just want to sleep Link to post Share on other sites
seany25 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Ouch! I don't mean to be harsh here because I know this hurts, but it could be worse.. Imagine your ex was carrying your baby & sleeping with someone else. Yeah, thats what happened to me in 2011. It would take something pretty spectacular to hurt me now. You should cut contact. Move away even. I moved away & I don't regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 There will be NC from me I'm so sorry to hear that - as for moving away she lives 20 miles from me And my job is here I guess I'm just asking how to let the anger subside Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 There will be NC from me I'm so sorry to hear that - as for moving away she lives 20 miles from me And my job is here I guess I'm just asking how to let the anger subside Time and space and NOT BREAKING NO CONTACT. You poked the bear and you got clawed. Stop poking the bear. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 That sux.... Particularly in the weeks following my breakup, the thought of either of us moving on made me physically ill. He was apparently not dating but just the thought of it was enough to make me panic so I would say your reaction is understandable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 It's made every feeling I've ever have turn into pure hatred I really hate Her it's not mature I know Maybe it's me trying to cope I just don't want to think of her I've deleted her number - maybe I'm angry because she moved in because of me Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I really want to give her a piece of my mind (I wont) But I've no right - do I even have a right to be angry Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Find out ex is sleeping with another guy I delete her from Facebook delete her number - out of blue she txts me "I'll contact you end of January regarding a concert we were supposed to be going to" what the actual hell??? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Ignore now, ignore in January, ignore, full stop and end of story. She is an ex - out of the picture. Doesn't figure. let her be, and go total AWOL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I know right - shall I change my number ? Why would she even ask that? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Yeah, change your number. It's actually a lot easier than you'd ever imagine. I'm not technical, so I got a salesperson for my 'phone server, to swap all my wanted and needed contacts to my new 'phone, and ditched or discarded those I didn't need. Then, I sent a text message to all those in my phone: "Hi, this is *evanescentworld*, and this is my new number! Give me a text back to test, and make sure we're still in touch!" 100% response in the affirmative! Why would she do it? Why even ask? Why would you want to head-search and second-guess the dumper? probably just wants to make sure she can still be buddy-buddy with you, even though she smashed your heart to bits.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I will definitely do that today She knows I was being violently sick at the thought of her sleeping with somebody else - so she wants to "give me space" until the concert Well she can go jump - besides I have the tickets ? I'll definitely change my number today There is a line in a song I think it goes "You smash my heart into a million pieces and tell me it's because I deserve better" - She can buy her own ticket and go with lover boy - That's seriously annoyed me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 ....that she had been out with a guy and that it had moved onto them sleeping together - well I'll tell you what guys I feel like I've been punched in the liver full circle all the work of put in GONE!! I'm a D**k - I just don't know what to say I keep getting an image of her with him and it's making me physically throw up - is this normal? I basically said its best to axe it - I said to her I'm deleting Her number I've deactivated my Facebook - is this what you guys would suggest ? Yes, that's why in some cases better not to know what's going on!!!! You should always go full an mantain NC. If there's an apology for the break up or she says she wants you back...you can consider breaking it. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Has she paid you for the ticket? If not, take someone else....and communicate nothing..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Tbh yes she has paid for ticket!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I'm really considering changing my number BUT I dunno if it was an extreme emergency and she needed to contact she wouldn't be able to - I've deleted her number and deactivated Facebook - but changing my number ? Thoughts ? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I guess you forgot to block her next...... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Tbh yes she has paid for ticket!! Mail the tickets back to her, don't hold onto them hoping for more contact, in the end she may want them to take another guy ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Yes school boy error on the blocking I don't want her to contact me I paid for my ticket aswell She can just lump it on this one - Ill go with a friend Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Is this rage normal ? I feel like my head is gonna burst through pressure? Is anger good ? For now ? I can't contact I've deleted number and deactivated FB triggers?? What do you mean ? I don't know if anger is ever 'good', but I think this is normal. I had a friend many years back who broke up with his girlfriend who was a bit of a psycho and was perfectly fine. Then one day he found out she had a boyfriend or was sleeping with another guy and he put his fist through the bathroom door in a fit of rage. He even said afterwards, 'I have no idea what came over me. I don't even like her and don't want her back in the slightest, but the thought of her with another guy drove me mad with rage'. I know I get angry at the thought of my Ex sleeping with someone else soon after a breakup, which is why I've just decided to put it out of my mind entirely and cut contact with her. It's not that I hate her or feel angry towards her at all, but the knowledge that seeing her with someone else would drive me off the deep end with anger/sadness. What also helps is my thinking to myself "Okay, WHY are you upset or angry about it? How does it possibly affect you?" I can't think of any logical reasons for it and I usually feel better afterwards. This might not be good advice for every situation but it works for me. That and just removing myself from the situation. Even if I saw or had contact from her that couldn't be avoided, I'd actively avoid talking about anything that might bring up new relationships for that reason. I'm feeling for you man, hang in there, you'll be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
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