Author DontBreak Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Ok something I've noticed is I feel angry when I see sex scenes on TV programs It's only recently started happening what the hell??? Am I broken ?? This isnr normal !!! Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeYearsDumb Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 It's not just you on the sex scenes. I've only been watching things that I know I can handle and have stopped listening to the radio as well. It's seems desperate to censor myself so much but it fits in the whatever it takes category. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 I broke no contact tonight!! First off I'm so ashamed in myself and everybody else here that's helped me Was it worth it absolultley not!! Anybody thinking of doing IT don't it's not worth it all you will get is pain It was intended to be innocent Her little boy left me a message on Playstation saying will I see him on his birthday - I called her well tried to to tell her to let him know that I couldn't make it but I've sent a parcel, no Ansear!! I left a txt message saying "so much for being civil" or something along those lines (yes very mature I know) Well anyway she txted back an explosion of what I can only be a years worth of pent up rage and to be honest I deserved some of it Hey she's no angel far from it but I have said some horrid things in the past BUT it is what it is - I should have just txted regarding her child that ones on me I feel **** but to be honest I feel emabarresed I shan't be doing that again I'm sorry guys Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 What did she say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'll delete it soon Things were bad when we split. I was miserable. We didn't make me happy anymore. I felt like I was constantly putting a happy face on and my feelings and worries were pushed aside to comfort you. Whether you feel that wrong or right it's how I felt. Over the past year it's been a constant deluge, a rollercoaster of drama. When I'm happy you are unhappy. And each time in told how you feel betrayed, how you don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. I did nothing but stand by you through everything. I dot deserve the **** I've had. We would have been together and you know it. I'm not perfect but I wasn't the problem. I didn't deserve any of that but I stuck with it. I remained friends regardless of what was thrown up at me because I respected you, I respected your relationship with the kids. Over the past couple of weeks it second apparent that some part of you thought that maybe it would always be me and you. Ask yourself honestly- if someone had acted the way you have towards me to you over the past year would you find it attractive. All the bull**** we both hate - you pulled it all. Not trying to be a twat about it becaus I understood and that's why I let it go over my head but honestly - it's not attractive. There was need any going back for us with all that we have said and done this year. I've tried to be there but I can't do it. You can hate me as much as you like. Deep down I know that I'm not wrong. I can't feel guilty about all of this anymore and I can't let you keep going on making me. You have to accept your own responsibility and the part you have played. I say all of this because I won't just take it any more. Not because I hate you but because it's not me and I've put me on the back step for long enough. I'm glad she got it off her chest tbh some of it's an eye opener for me I feel guilty and emabarresed but yes that's it Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 How much of that is true? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 A good chunk some of its been twisted out of context but it happens via txt I feel like an ass and I deserve to feel that way but I thought I'd be honest and tell you guys I broke NC Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Sometimes you have to get beaten over the head a few times before you finally say, "ouch, enough." Consensus was no on X'mas gifts but you went ahead and sent a birthday gift. Consensus was NC with the kids as well but you left him accessible to you on your gaming network. You're learning your lessons the hard way. Hopefully you start to understand that contact, no matter which way you slice it, just isn't worth it nor is it ever going to give you the response you need. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Is there any way you can block or delete her child from your Play Station? You also need to be NC from her child as well. I empathize with a breakup involving a child. I was very close to my ex's child and did much of the day to day care for him. Unfortunately, you also have to remove the child from your life, and it's a no win situation. There's no way around it though. As some members of LS explained to me, it's better to be completely out of the child's life than to confuse him more with sporadic contact. Depending on the age of the child, maybe a simple explanation would be good instead of just blocking the child all of a sudden. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Hello zahara how are you Oh yes I got burnt but I actually feel strangely better Maybe more clarity so to speak I have been an ass I needed to hear that it was easier to Hurl abuse and use anger - I'm glad she got it off her chest I wouldn't want to be carrying that around It's made me feel more humane Yes I'll go NC but with a bit more "sort you're sh*t out man" Makes me want to take some responsibility after all it takes two To tango I've got some issues to Adress I already knew this But this response gave me some closure As for child in my defence I hadent been onto my console for weeks I'd totally forgot I switched it on and BAM right there Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 IDepending on the age of the child, maybe a simple explanation would be good instead of just blocking the child all of a sudden. If the mother had any sense as well as realizing it's her responsibility to tie that loose end, she would have explained to the child but instead leaves the child clueless and open to confusion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 It's because you got a dose of the crazy. I know this from personal experience. Don't Justify. Attack. Defend. Explain. Just ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Hello zahara how are you Oh yes I got burnt but I actually feel strangely better Maybe more clarity so to speak I have been an ass I needed to hear that it was easier to Hurl abuse and use anger - I'm glad she got it off her chest I wouldn't want to be carrying that around It's made me feel more humane Yes I'll go NC but with a bit more "sort you're sh*t out man" Makes me want to take some responsibility after all it takes two To tango I've got some issues to Adress I already knew this But this response gave me some closure As for child in my defence I hadent been onto my console for weeks I'd totally forgot I switched it on and BAM right there I'm good, DontBreak Sometimes, after a couple of hits to the gut, NC becomes more tolerable than the drama and hurt that comes from contact. You both had it out and got stuff of your shoulders. Time to brush it off and get back on that NC wagon again. Stay there and hold tight! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 To be honest I agree with Zahara to a certain extent on the loose end matter BUT I've only seen the little guy once in the last 3 months I think she told him that I'm busy with work etc Which I'm ok with he's only 6 he won't understand the ins and outs - besides I don't play with him on the thing I normally just watch netflix Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I'm good, DontBreak Sometimes, after a couple of hits to the gut, NC becomes more tolerable than the drama and hurt that comes from contact. You both had it out and got stuff of your shoulders. Time to brush it off and get back on that NC wagon again. Stay there and hold tight! Very true - I felt that all that needed to be said was said And zahara you're being very nice today ? should I be worried?? ? I'm just joking I love you really x Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 To be honest I agree with Zahara to a certain extent on the loose end matter BUT I've only seen the little guy once in the last 3 months I think she told him that I'm busy with work etc Which I'm ok with he's only 6 he won't understand the ins and outs - besides I don't play with him on the thing I normally just watch netflix This is why she should have set the boundary with you. Once in the last 3 months and he still reaches out wanting to know if he'll see you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I see what your saying my friend I'm trying not to look to much into it I'll go with a 'it's a 6yr old excited about his birthday' Hey never normally sends me a message on there Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Very true - I felt that all that needed to be said was said And zahara you're being very nice today ? should I be worried?? ? I'm just joking I love you really x It's all that X'mas chocolate! I'm a little forward sometimes but I don't mean any harm, but just to help Well, try and stay NC. Otherwise I'll be around to beat you with the stick. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Ahh no need to explain it's better to be honest Honesty helped me take a huge step today When I first came here I was in denial then I hit anger I don't know what it is after today but it feels better than denial & anger I now enter NC with a much better mind frame And hey your not allowed to use weapons CHEAT!! ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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