Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 It's not an extreme measure if it helps you push forward and heal from this. I've done it. My gf has done it. People on LS have done it. If there is an extreme emergency, she will contact the man she is sleeping with, her family, her friends, her co-workers, her relatives, etc. She has a support system and when she decided she didn't want you in her life, that's when she lost the benefit of you. You are not her support system. What's wrong with you that while she's with another man you still want to be her crutch? You need to stop focusing on her affairs and start focusing on how you to need move on from this. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 If she paid for her ticket, mail it to her. You either block her or change your number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 How do I block somebody if I don't know there number Concert is a tricky one as she would be sitting by me ? Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I had that scenario. I brought concert tickets as an XMAS gift. Concert was in July and he dumped me in May. He sent a text a few days before concert that he would send me money for tickets. A part of me was "WTF". But to be honest, the more I thought about it I did appreciate that he offered. I just said "thxs...they were a gift" or something to that effect. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 If she paid for her ticket, send her the money, keep the tickets, and take someone else. Or, just give her both tickets and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 How do I block somebody if I don't know there number Concert is a tricky one as she would be sitting by me Check your call history. The number may still be there. If you haven't deleted your text messages, her number should still show. Or just change your number. Then give her both tickets or send her the money for her ticket. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 I found a txt blocked the number then deleted the txt I hope this means she can't message me via whatsapp ?? And thanks I'll send her - her money for ticket I want to go to the gig it's time I stood up for myself ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Thankyou I've blocked number I've blocked in facebook I've blocked all her friends & family so no way I can contact her now ? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I found a txt blocked the number then deleted the txt I hope this means she can't message me via whatsapp ?? And thanks I'll send her - her money for ticket I want to go to the gig it's time I stood up for myself I don't believe she can contact you via Whatsapp if she is a blocked contact on your phone. But it doesn't hurt to just browse the app and check to see if there is a block function and if you need to add her on there as well. Take a friend and have a good time! Link to post Share on other sites
Jackson37 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Sorry you're going through this man. I remember when my ex told me she started dating the dude I suspected her of emotionally cheating on me with. I threw up too. Dont know if its normal but it happened to me as well haha anyways good job with the blocking. Every day you do NC think of it as a day you slowly gain back power, use that momentum to drive you forward. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Same thing occurred to me roughly 2 months ago. I took the "seek and you shall find" attitude and well of course I found. She is in a new relationship and apparently this guy must mean something as he gets to spend time in her home and sleep in the same bed that I used to sleep in. The reality of it is that it's life, people move on to new relationships. As matter of fact as this may sound it's just how it is. I was clearly expecting her to move on and it has been 1.5 year post BU so it's only normal for her to be in a new relationship as she needs someone to give her the love I used to give her, it's human nature to do that. I'm on the other hand still a work in progress. And that's totally fine. I'm still angry and pissed but what can I possibly do? I need to work on myself and focus on the only person that matter and that's ME. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Who care who paid for it, leave it be and implement NC immediately for your sake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Thanks guys I said some awful things before I blocked but it's all done now let's move toward making me better 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 I don't know what's wrong with me I can't sleep I can't get the thought of her in bed with somebody else this is ridiculous I've not slept since properly and I've made myself I'll & rundown - this is killing me NEVER been here before I've blocked every avenue of contact and still she invades my mind - when will this stop its ruining my Xmas ? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 What you feel is very normal. It's going to take quite a bit of time before you start feeling some relief. Blocking her doesn't make the hurt, anxiety, pain and dwelling go away. It may take weeks, months for you to slowly detach emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 F**k ?????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 I will NEVER go through this pain again!! Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 DontBreak: Something that helps me is, regardless of what either of you two are doing now, when you were together you were the only ones for each-other. That is all that should matter. Neither of you can 'own' the other for life, but when you were together that's what mattered. If you found someone new and grew close to them in a relationship, does that devalue every other person beforehand? Of course not, so why should you feel angry? I know it probably doesn't help much, and I wish I could do more - You'll work it out in your head eventually, things like this are hard but you'll be able to come to terms yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Thankyou red button - in your opinion do you think me blocking her number is too much ? Sure delete it but blocking ? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Thankyou red button - in your opinion do you think me blocking her number is too much ? Sure delete it but blocking ? You need to quit questioning yourself. When you first came here, we were all giving you advice and trying to make you see the reality of what you were in. But you chose to do things they way you wanted to and it came back and bit you in the arse. Block it. This is what you call a trigger. If you don't block and you receive communication from her, it will trigger your emotions again. You don't get to heal because triggers keep digging at the wound. When you block, you protect yourself. It's called self-preservation. There is no such thing as "too much" when the priority is to heal. You don't want to block because you want to be available to her incase she changes her mind. Incase she has something different to say. Well, if things change, I am sure she'll barrell through hell and high water to get to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Thankyou red button - in your opinion do you think me blocking her number is too much ? Sure delete it but blocking ? I agree with Zahara. If you need time apart, and it hurts when she contacts you, go ahead and block the number. You can un-block much later when you feel better if you really need to. You might find you never need to! If she really needs to get in touch with you for whatever reason, there are ways and means. She can contact you online or even make the journey to see you in person, but that would only be for something important. It might help give you some breathing space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Thanks Zahara I needed that message ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 I see a lot of people get contacted by ex via email - what's peoples opinion on blocking emails anybody do it ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Xmas day I've been ill past few days now feels like full blown flu my mum & dad are Ill I don't want to give them this as it would put them back in hospital - merry Xmas Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontBreak Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Hi guys hope your all doing ok I won't pretend I've not thought of my ex I have the odd horrible thought has cropped up GRRR but after some sound advice from members here when I was really struggling with NC I decided to BLOCK not delete people on here were right - and you may feel particularly strong today and then BAM!!! you get a stupid no meaning "hi" on your whatsapp/txt a 2 letter txt sends you reeling right back Or one quick glimpse of a Facebook page - I've learnt a few little things here (prob gonna learn a few more) but if I could give anybody struggling with NC at the moment one piece of advice it would be BLOCK not delete the person from calling/texting BLOCK the person from Facebook or deactivate BLOCK there email YES it's hard but it was then and only then I felt I was heading in the right direction 'Zahara' said to me on here - "there is nothing too extreme when it comes to self-preservation" that stuck with me I also made a long list of WHY I don't want her back and WHY it would never work ? Brought myself that guitar that I've always wanted I've fallen back in love with playing - it's a tough time of year so much I made myself so rundown I spent xmas day in bed with flu - the point im trying to make is guys you've all got to look out for #1 now be absolute on your choices if you had a bullet in your leg you would make sure you got the bullet AND all the little fragments out aswell or you just wouldn't heal. I tried being the "tough Guy" or acting in denial saying I can cope with these little doses of her - It was a lie Do yourselfs a favour guys - Be absolute BLOCK don't delete and start self preservation Day 4 of TOTAL NC For me and I feeling stronger than the last 6 months of partial contact - be strong guys ? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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