Can men and women be friends

[monkey00]

there was a previous discussion here

 

But to add to this open discussion, i'd like to say that i cant be friends with another women.

 

 

in a situation where i liked the girl and she didnt, i doubt i could be her friend.

And in another situation where i realize that the girl likes me yet i dont, i dont want to be her friend.

 

Under a certain circumstance, i would say i can...As long as we both mutually respect the friendship and see it as only that.

 

But in my shoes, i would say it's impossible for me to make & keep female friends. Usually the ones i do meet and get to know eventually develop deep feelings for me....and i wont stick around cause they have that agenda.

 

At best, i can only be acquantances with a girl.

[gridiron]

I agree with monkey00. For me to want to take a relationship I have with a woman from an acquaintance to a friend level, there has to be some characteristics I like about her. For me to want to take it from a friend to a good friend level, there has to be a lot of things I like about her. If there is a lot I like about a girl, she will run through my mind, in various natural and some unnatural sexual positions.

 

Now, just as there are times when someone cuts me off in traffic or bumps into me without apologizing, I have to control the desire to beat the crap out of him, I can control these desires with women friends to still maintain a healthy relationship, if these feelings are not too intense. However, if she is really great looking, intelligent, has a good sense of humor, and great personality, I have to distance myself from them. This recently happened with a good female friend of mine who is married. Once I started picturing her head banging repeatedly into the headboard, I had to say enough and just slowly kill off contact with her.

 

We all know the reaction to "let's just be friends." When was the last time a girl told a guy, "let's just be lovers" which resulted in a disappointed look on his face?

 

Sure there are exceptions, but I'd say the general rule is that these friendships will not work out. Maybe I am a horndog. Ok, I know I am. Most guys are, some are just better at covering it up. Some let themselves get into really unhealthy relationships as a result.

[MassiveAtom]

Originally posted by Elise

question:

 

can a heterosexual woman and a heterosexual man be good friends without one of them having feelings for the other.

 

discuss.

 

Again??

 

Well I've changed my mind somewhat. Platonic friends, no. I don't think so. But the Aristotelian view of friendship and the ethics underlying it seems totally possible.

 

Would I take an offer from a female friend? dunno. Could I be friends and never offer? yeah. never WANT to offer, yeah.

 

Have feelings for them, yeah. I could easily say I love some of my female friends, but as Aristotle would say, "it's because of WHO they are, not WHAT they are."

[whichwayisup]

That's when things get f*cked, because the line where reality ends and where a guy's fantasy begins becomes blurred. Thus, if the girl is hot, the guy she's friends with has to be able satisfied enough with his love life that he doesn't really care about bonking his friend.

 

And some women have the romantic side of those thoughts.

 

Nicely put amerikajin!!

 

Otherwise, he'll be having lunch with her at noon and slapping his salami while he's thinking about her at midnight.

 

True! And women in that senario fantasize the romantic part of it. Same as what I said above...Yeh, some sexual thoughts too, but there is always a 'story' line. Men tend to get straight to the point and ...