banini_jeque Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I'm making a list of what I want in a relationship, mostly for myself, but also to see what others think. I haven't had a lot of experience so far, but... When I was 23 I met a girl who was also 23 but totally wrong for me, but she was damaged and really flirty and charming and mean. I loved having stupid pointless arguments with her, and chasing her. She just liked the attention and had no interest in me at all, but I was totally infatuated with her and it felt great. Then I met another girl who was 18, but we both shared some mutual chemistry together and I got to see what it could feel like to have some of your feelings returned. We would hang out and cuddle and give each other back rubs. Her friend was always along too, but I was fine with that. She was so adorable and easy to talk to. I loved making little jokes that pushed her comfort level a little bit and she would squirm and it just made me want her. It never went farther than that, and then one day she just disappeared. Eventually I heard from her again, but it was over, and I felt desperate and told her I'd felt romantic feelings etc. When I was 25 and 26 I went on a few dates with some girls, but when I got fired from my job I stopped for a while because I was depressed. When I turned 30, things were looking better. I was feeling way better about me, and I started up a sort of relationship with my 40 year old neighbor. I didn't see her very often, but when I did we had a lot of fun. I actually liked having that space, and I think it was exactly what I needed at the time, but ultimately not what I wanted for a life partner. She moved away, and then I started talking to this girl that I had met 4 years before who had now moved far away. She suggested that if she came back, we would date, and I said I thought so too, so she did, and we did. I was 31, and she was 22. It all went pretty fast and we fell for each other pretty hard, but then for her it suddenly changed and she got scared and broke up with me. I'm still a little hurt and I miss it, but for what it was I'm happy. The feelings we shared were probably the best I've felt for anyone so far, but we didn't have a few things in common, and I think that I'm too moody for her, while it was difficult for me to take her seriously and would make jokes when she wished I didn't. Now I've been dating a 30 year old with whom I have lots in common, great chemistry, and good laughs, but somehow the feelings I'd like to have aren't quite there. So, I've been making lists and writing down thoughts to see how that makes me feel and try to get a better idea of who I am and what I'd like in a mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author banini_jeque Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Someone quiet. Doesn't laugh too loud or talk too loud. I don't mind how much they talk if I like the sound of their voice. Artistic. Smart. Matching sense of humor, or at least close. Strong chemistry for fun arguments and playing, with some sort of warm glow so it just feels good to be around her. A situation in which I feel needed and useful. Someone who sees the value in building a friendship with a strong base of trust and good teamwork to build the rest of the relationship on top of. Someone who can support me when I get emotional or dramatic instead of just offering some sort of critical opinion about my behavior. Lots of space and free alone time for hobbies and other projects. Someone who will communicate with me and let me know when they've had enough of my ****, because I take life too seriously and try to turn everything into a joke in order to survive. Preferably no tattoos, no smoking, and not too much drinking. Someone unique who doesn't try to fit in with any particular group. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts