Did she just need an excuse to dump me?

[anika99]

Why do you want to be involved with this needy high drama drugged up drunk MW? What do you think you are going to get out of this besides drama and pain? A few nights ago you were all in a tizzy because she was ignoring you and now here you are just a couple of nights later, having another rough evening because of her mood. Is this what you want? Do you seriously find cheating, whining, complaining, drug using married women attractive? What does she offer you?

[cptkurt]

Why do you want to be involved with this needy high drama drugged up drunk MW? What do you think you are going to get out of this besides drama and pain? A few nights ago you were all in a tizzy because she was ignoring you and now here you are just a couple of nights later, having another rough evening because of her mood. Is this what you want? Do you seriously find cheating, whining, complaining, drug using married women attractive? What does she offer you?

 

I guess I'm just lonely and have enjoyed the special attention. It was just last night that I was in a tizzy over her ignoring me. Now tonight it's like this. Should I assume this is what it would be like if we were in an actual relationship?

 

Edit: The reason I ask is that she mentioned the idea of us being together for real some day. If this is what it would be like than it's totally not worth it. I want someone who is going to make my life better not worse.

 

Edit2: Also, should it be assumed she would cheat on me as well if she's sneaking around on this guy?

Edited December 25, 2014 by cptkurt

[anika99]

The woman sounds like a drama queen. She is trying to make you feel responsible somehow for her sh*tty life and for some reason you are playing along. If she has real problems then the last thing she needs is to add an affair to her already messed up life. If you want a happy relationship with someone who will be a mature contributing partner then don't go for the crazies. Being alone is better then getting involved with a needy moody attention seeker. If you think it's bad now then just wait until develop real feelings for her. She will destroy you.

 

 

As for your last question. I guess it's possible that someone can cheat and then not cheat again but that would involve the cheater taking ownership of their actions and addressing the issues within themselves that led them to cheat in the first place. That requires maturity, responsibility and the ability to admit wrong doing. Does that sound like your married woman? I don't think so. She sounds like someone who blames other people, someone who never takes responsibility for her own actions and decisions. You have only seen her in person a couple of times and she's already talking about leaving her marriage for you. That sounds like someone who just wants to latch onto whoever wants to be the next guy. I wouldn't trust her for a minute.

[cptkurt]

Thank you Anika for your wise thoughts. I am quite stressed out in life for other reasons. I thought sex would help out -- and it does -- but I'm confused and have new kinds of stress/anxiety because she's not being good (or even nice) to me half the time.

 

I wish she would realize I cannot read her mind. I'm obviously trying.. and here I am alone feeling like ****.

[whichwayisup]

She came over today for a few hours and again we made out, she cried about her life problems, I rubbed her back and gave her a shoulder to cry on, I got her off, and she left. I had Christmas plans so I didn't text for a few hours and then my phone died.

 

By the time I plugged it back in I had a few missed text messages and a few missed phone calls. I asked her if she was still up and she says "**** off" and "Find someone else to talk to" and "Enjoy your night" and "Cool bye"...

 

I don't get it. I'm such a backbone for this girl and actually give a **** about her but she always wants to fight over stupid things.

 

I think shes drinking tonight so maybe shes just being dumb. I never know when shes seriously fighting with me or 'play fighting' with me. She apparently 'play fights' really hard and also says/does things to 'test' me.

 

I never imagined this would be so complicated. It feels a lot like my last 'relationship' where the girl constantly strung me along, treated me like ass, and then disposed of me. I don't want to go down that path again.

 

I don't know what to think or do at this point. She hasn't responded to my text asking her why shes being mean to me... Having a pretty rough night over this.

 

Merry Christmas ls.

 

Don't let her ruin YOUR Christmas. My god, this woman is a grown woman? Married, yet acting like a young teen playing games and being a drunken fool. Does she have kids?

 

End it. She is a drama queen and only going to continue to bring pain and confusion into your life.

 

Be TOUGH on yourself. SO what if you're very attracted to her and you feel a strong connection. Is what you feel afterwards worth it? The suffering and pain? She is unhealthy for you, toxic actually.

 

Google baggage reclaim and start reading articles on there, hopefully it'll open your eyes and make you see the best thing you can do for yourself is to get away from this woman.

[Satu]

This is a waste of your time and attention.

[cptkurt]

Another Update!

 

Up all night with this back and forth between I Want You and Im Mad At You... hardly slept at all. She lost her Mom recently so I assumed she just again needed a shoulder to cry on / someone to listen...

 

She apologized for keeping me up and stopped by for about an hour. Her husband didnt get her anything for Christmas, etc. She leaves I say drive safe..

 

About an hour later she calls me crying saying she just got in an accident. Shes been on a lot of meds and probably shouldnt be driving. I ask her of she's okay and alll she says is no and hangs up. Same conversation over text.

 

All I could say is What Can I Do? And I havent heard back from her.

 

Im starting to wonder how far down this rabbit hole goes..

[FusionCutter]

Another Update!

 

Up all night with this back and forth between I Want You and Im Mad At You... hardly slept at all. She lost her Mom recently so I assumed she just again needed a shoulder to cry on / someone to listen...

 

She apologized for keeping me up and stopped by for about an hour. Her husband didnt get her anything for Christmas, etc. She leaves I say drive safe..

 

About an hour later she calls me crying saying she just got in an accident. Shes been on a lot of meds and probably shouldnt be driving. I ask her of she's okay and alll she says is no and hangs up. Same conversation over text.

 

All I could say is What Can I Do? And I havent heard back from her.

 

Im starting to wonder how far down this rabbit hole goes..

 

 

Is this what you want out of a relationship? Are you happy? Do you want to keep doing this?

 

Take responsibility for yourself. You're not responsible for her.

[cptkurt]

Is this what you want out of a relationship? Are you happy? Do you want to keep doing this?

 

Take responsibility for yourself. You're not responsible for her.

 

Nah if this is a permanent state of mind for her I cant keep this up. She keeps telling me I don't care about her or her safety and its getting exhausting having to reassure her all the time. Let alone all night long.

[lil hoodlum]

So instead you settled for table scraps by a MW. Man you'd be better off single and drama-pain free. This roller coaster ride you're on is only going to get worse as time goes on.

 

 

...or worse. You may end up in the hospital one day or dead.

[cptkurt]

...or worse. You may end up in the hospital one day or dead.

 

Not a very constructive response but okay...

[Cressida]

WTF man. I've read a few stories about weird women and the trouble they cause, but this lady takes the cake. She sounds like she's not in control of herself, really spinning out. One moment crying, then smiling, you speak nicely to her and give her back rubs, she slams the phone on you...a woman above the age of 12 acting like this, and you DON'T want to be 'dumped'?

 

I'd change my phone number or never answer her messages or calls...I have a feeling she'll be back just try to get rid of a situation like this, for your own sanity

[anika99]

Another Update!

 

Up all night with this back and forth between I Want You and Im Mad At You... hardly slept at all. She lost her Mom recently so I assumed she just again needed a shoulder to cry on / someone to listen...

 

She apologized for keeping me up and stopped by for about an hour. Her husband didnt get her anything for Christmas, etc. She leaves I say drive safe..

 

About an hour later she calls me crying saying she just got in an accident. Shes been on a lot of meds and probably shouldnt be driving. I ask her of she's okay and alll she says is no and hangs up. Same conversation over text.

 

All I could say is What Can I Do? And I havent heard back from her.

 

Im starting to wonder how far down this rabbit hole goes..

 

 

Well looks like you're enjoying the drama as much as she is. You say you don't but your actions say otherwise. You keep talking to her, keep sucking up to her. Guess you've decided to be this crazy woman's doormat. Have fun!

[cptkurt]

Well looks like you're enjoying the drama as much as she is. You say you don't but your actions say otherwise. You keep talking to her, keep sucking up to her. Guess you've decided to be this crazy woman's doormat. Have fun!

 

I'm enjoying the sex I mean this woman is on fire. Phone sex twice a day. Wants it hard all day long if ever possible. All of this when I haven't had sex in over a year before this... I am but a man.

 

However, I am done being controlled emotionally. She can come by and get pounded any time of day but I will not let this ruin other areas of my personal life as it will not be going further than it currently is.

[cptkurt]

This has quickly become a ****ing mess. I get a call last night while she's fighting with her husband asking to come stay the night. I blow it off bc no I'm not getting involved with your problems. She calls me later basically threatening suicide. This **** makes me physically ill. I don't need this drama in my life. I've never met such a ****ing train wreck in my entire life.

 

Is there any way I can continue having sex with her without getting wrapped up in the mess?

 

She's got a lot of **** to sort out before she will ever be in a decent relationship. I can't help her with that and she doesn't want to help herself. I just thought she wanted the D but she's starting to twist it like I owe her a relationship.

[Cressida]

Dude, seriously, disturbed women like her can cause trouble like you don't even imagine. She can even tell her husband that you raped her if she gets caught, as she's clearly irresponsible and out of control. She can even say that she wasn't in her right mind or unable to properly function because of her medication.

 

Can't you just hook up in bars and clubs or something, like all normal men do? I understand your needs but this woman is NOT worth it....she's a married middle aged woman with obvious mental problems, what could you possibly find attractive in that?

[anika99]

This has quickly become a ****ing mess. I get a call last night while she's fighting with her husband asking to come stay the night. I blow it off bc no I'm not getting involved with your problems. She calls me later basically threatening suicide. This **** makes me physically ill. I don't need this drama in my life. I've never met such a ****ing train wreck in my entire life.

 

Is there any way I can continue having sex with her without getting wrapped up in the mess?

 

She's got a lot of **** to sort out before she will ever be in a decent relationship. I can't help her with that and she doesn't want to help herself. I just thought she wanted the D but she's starting to twist it like I owe her a relationship.

 

 

You know this woman is mentally disturbed and emotionally unstable. It would be unethical and immoral for you to continue to use her for sex.

[whichwayisup]

This has quickly become a ****ing mess. I get a call last night while she's fighting with her husband asking to come stay the night. I blow it off bc no I'm not getting involved with your problems. She calls me later basically threatening suicide. This **** makes me physically ill. I don't need this drama in my life. I've never met such a ****ing train wreck in my entire life.

Is there any way I can continue having sex with her without getting wrapped up in the mess?

 

She's got a lot of **** to sort out before she will ever be in a decent relationship. I can't help her with that and she doesn't want to help herself. I just thought she wanted the D but she's starting to twist it like I owe her a relationship.

 

 

Are you kidding? This woman threatened suicide and you're hoping to continue having sex with her, using her for your own needs?

[cptkurt]

Are you kidding? This woman threatened suicide and you're hoping to continue having sex with her, using her for your own needs?

 

Yeah I guess that sounds pretty bad. Guilt trip noted. She seems to want it just as much though if that matters.