Obsession with "exes"

[Eggplant]

People experience love differently. Everybody should just be aware and tolerant of different personalities.

[Omei]

I wouldnt go back out with my ex now hes changed, a different person than who I first met but I am still obsessed and deeply in love with the version of him I did love I still dream of that version of him he wasn't my first just someone who I loved so much that its still there I have moved on but I still fantasize about him its kind of like you would a celebrity crush you dont know them but of them and you daydream.

 

My ex is hurtful who he is now I dislike very much I seem to only like picturing them as they were when we met but two years later I still love I dont think that gos away for some

[acrosstheuniverse]

Some people drag it on by staying in contact, pretending to be friends, stalking them on social media. I can see how they don't get over it.

 

Personally, I have had my heart seriously broken before. But when I've had splits and gone full no contact it hasn't taken long to get over somebody. A few months maximum. I generally block them from my life entirely, get busy with life, start casually dating, and find that I get used quickly to a life without them in it. It's the healthiest way in my opinion.

[Country_Girl]

I like the way you think and your fresh perspective, your pretty witty and can make humor of the situation, which is not something most can do.

 

Thinking back on my life, the first guy ever to show me 'attention'- he did seem to get a free pass for many years after the breakup. In reality, he was a first class douche and piece of ****. I met him when I was 17, lost my virginity to him, yada yada. He was a year ahead of me and I didn't even go to prom because he said he already went the year before and wasn't interested. I can't believe I missed prom over this ass clown. Also, my dad was willing to pay for my spring break and take a trip to Aruba. He said 'all girls cheat when they go on spring break, if u go, I won't be here when u get back'. Wtf, he was the only guy I ever slept with, I never would have cheated. So guess what, I backed out of the trip last minute and my friends were officially pissed, I lost all of those friends overnight with the exception of 1. Ha, then I remember I got him a camcorder for his birthday, he left it running while on the phone with his brother and said, word for word while laughing "yeah well I popped her cherry, she will never leave me".

 

Good lord, took me 2 years to get over this ex. I must have been a gluten for punishment. I can't believe how insecure I was to put up with this treatment. I missed so many milestones that I can't get back due to his ass hatery and insecurities. Jesus, that was 16 years ago, and I still have this level of hate. It's not that I don't forgive, but man, would I like to go back in time and rearrange some things. #1 I would have told him that I'm going to prom, with or without him, and invited a guy other than him him. #2 would have gone on spring break.

 

I think we tend to attract others according to our feelings. I was insecure and he was obviously insecure. I have to take some of the blame, I feel I attracted it.

 

Over the years I have built this wall up due to bad experiences with men. Kind of sucks for the next guy, he'll have to go through a lot of red tape. I know I am better for it through these experiences, but a part of me is 'shut off' as a result. Don't think you are a sociopath, I just think you have built an appropriate wall/boundary. Many of us lack this in a new relationship because we hang on to words and no actions.

 

Personally, I think it's healthy. There's nothing wrong with making someone prove themselves to you. Good post, did a lot of reflecting.

[Tayken]

People experience love differently. Everybody should just be aware and tolerant of different personalities.

 

 

C'est Vrai......