I miss my cheating ex girlfriend.. Why?

[Sandrino]

Ok, im new here, so im going to try and make this as short as possible.

 

I was with this girl for about 9 months. Off and on. This girl was the first girl i've ever had major feelings for in my entire life. I've never felt this way about someone ever. I'm 20 and shes 17.

 

She had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy she was with for 3 years. I was scared as soon as i found this out. But i wanted to be with her and so i stayed. She comes to me within a couple of weeks of us being together and tells me, she may have jumped into a relationship but she really wants to be with me. She says shes just scared. So i said, well then be with me, and i'll pull you through. I trusted her.

 

I knew i was a rebound at this point, but she wanted to make it work, so i tried to keep it going. An issue arose where i found out she was still talking to the guy. All the time. It made me insecure so i told her to stop, but she refused and told me i was being controlling. I didnt want to have to fight for her. But i broke up with her over this because i just couldnt handle it. Week later, she cries for me back and says she misses me. She said she'll change, and quit talking to him.

 

I believed her, and gave her another shot. The guy ends up calling her while im at her house all the time, i find pictures of him on her computer, she made multiple facebook accounts that made me suspicious of her talking to him privately. Then we break up again. We do this multiple times until she finally breaks my heart to pieces. One day we got back together again and she promised AGAIN that she would stop. I believed her AGAIN. Like an idiot.

 

The NEXT DAY she cheats on me and goes to a theme park with the guy. She said she already paid for the ticket and it was already planned while we were broke up. But the thing is, she lied about where she was going and said she was going to see her grandmother that day. She said she was going to tell me, but i doubt it. She blames the cheating on me, and says that im too high maintenance for her. She says im a like a clingy girlfriend. Although this girl has begged for me back almost every single time, I'm just tired of doing this with her, and i just wanted it to work out for christs sake. Thats why i tried harder to be with her this time, which i guess it came to be annoying to her. I was way too insecure and i couldnt trust her. I guess thats what pushed her away, but she cheated on me! Things dont just go back to normal and all happy after that happens.

 

One time we broke up i found out she was at his house hanging out with him within 3 days of us being broken up. But then we got back together a week later lol. He obviously got what he wanted out of her and didnt need her, so she came to me. Its sad that i know this but i just loved her so much, i wasn't thinking rational. She had me brainwashed.

 

I'd have to be with her at all times just to know where she is. Now, we've been no contact for the longest we've ever been. Its been almost 3 weeks. Christmas is in a couple of days, and new years. Man new years is going to kill me. Can't wait for Valentines day.. Just knowing shes probably out with some dude on those days, and im here alone, thinking of her. She called me all kinds of names, and i called her a slut, and it ended again. Its been two weeks. I wish i can blame her age for the reasoning behind the cheating, but is that really the full blame? I knew at 17 not to cheat on people EVER. Its cruel and a terrible thing to do to someone.

 

We've done this so many times, and deep down i know she had feelings for me. She would write about me in her journals, she cried over me multiple times, and it seemed like she loved me. Or maybe it was all just a manipulative trick to get me back, and make me feel bad. I'm so broken without her, but i know shes no good for me. I miss her so much, and i've never felt this much pain in my life. I've cried myself to sleep almost every night, and man do i feel like a wimp to be crying over some girl. Never done that before... Wow.

 

I just need some insight, and i need someone to help me out.

 

I hope one day she changes, or maybe not? She was with this guy for 3 years, so it has to be possible for her to stay committed right? I just dont know right now. I need help.

[Tonic]

This isn't going to be much help but i thought id put my 2 cents in.

 

MOVE ON!!! She cheated once and will more than likely do it again. She knows what she is doing is wrong. You have tried on multiple occasions i believe to be there for her, and it seems you get kicked in the teeth for it. She is a little petty girl, you are 20 and need a F#cking woman. Stop playing her games, she acts like a child, treat her like one.

 

And for the age thing, no its not because she is 17. I was 15 (she was also 15) when i got into my only long term relationship of 4 years, cheating and playing games never crossed my mind nor hers.

Edited December 25, 2014 by Tonic

[Sandrino]

This isn't going to be much help but i thought id put my 2 cents in.

 

MOVE ON!!! She cheated once and will more than likely do it again. She knows what she is doing is wrong. You have tried on multiple occasions i believe to be there for her, and it seems you get kicked in the teeth for it. She is a little petty girl, you are 20 and need a F#cking woman. Stop playing her games, she acts like a child, treat her like one.

 

And for the age thing, no its not because she is 17. I was 15 (she was also 15) when i got into my only long term relationship of 4 years, cheating and playing games never crossed my mind nor hers.

 

I just keep putting the blame on myself, like maybe i could have done something to prevent her from doing it. Like maybe i was too good to her or something. But if you read my post, you cans ee i wasnt possesive or anything. I was just trying to have a relationship..

[Tonic]

I just keep putting the blame on myself, like maybe i could have done something to prevent her from doing it. Like maybe i was too good to her or something. But if you read my post, you cans ee i wasnt possesive or anything. I was just trying to have a relationship..

 

Exactly mate you know you have done everything you could to make the relationship work - this is absolutely not your fault, and for no reason should you be blaming yourself.

 

I know moving on from someone you care about is hard, trust me. But in this particular situation you need to other wise you are just going to get hurt.

 

She doesnt seem ready to settle down and commit to a relationship, and cleary you are after something more serious. For as long as you show this girl sympathy towards her break up, or everytime she has a problem and comes running back to you - and you jump right back to her (giving her support) you are playing her game, and she knows she can f#ck you around and mess with your head. And that seems to be your downfall. (Kindness is a great thing BUT you have to have limits)

 

Yes you were good to her, i think the problem is you are to good FOR her. You deserve much more.

[Sandrino]

Exactly mate you know you have done everything you could to make the relationship work - this is absolutely not your fault, and for no reason should you be blaming yourself.

 

I know moving on from someone you care about is hard, trust me. But in this particular situation you need to other wise you are just going to get hurt.

 

She doesnt seem ready to settle down and commit to a relationship, and cleary you are after something more serious. For as long as you show this girl sympathy towards her break up, or everytime she has a problem and comes running back to you - and you jump right back to her (giving her support) you are playing her game, and she knows she can f#ck you around and mess with your head. And that seems to be your downfall. (Kindness is a great thing BUT you have to have limits)

 

Yes you were good to her, i think the problem is you are to good FOR her. You deserve much more.

 

Then why did she cheat? She was in a relationship with someone for 3 years. She is obviously able to sustain a relationship. But why did she cheat on me with him. I keep feeling like i could have done something to prevent it, or maybe i wasnt good enough. Im so devastated. I'll never feel good enough for anyone again for a while. Maybe i was in too much love? Maybe i was clingy. I just wish i would have known what i could have done to prevent her from doing this.

 

My god i miss her. Id do anything to gain her full love to where she wouldnt cheat on me. I cry all the time over her. I've never been this way in my life and its very embarrassing to know how weak i am towards her..

[No Limit]

Because she doesn't care about you enough not to cheat. Her > you

I know it hurts but just keep NC and it will vanish in time. And boy will you laugh over this someday when you find a girl that actually likes you as much as you like her, and treats you as a partner of a relationship, not just selfish kiddi love.

[Sandrino]

Because she doesn't care about you enough not to cheat. Her > you

I know it hurts but just keep NC and it will vanish in time. And boy will you laugh over this someday when you find a girl that actually likes you as much as you like her, and treats you as a partner of a relationship, not just selfish kiddi love.

 

But is that really ok for her to cheat anyways? She should have just broke up with me then..

[Gloria25]

Then why did she cheat? She was in a relationship with someone for 3 years. She is obviously able to sustain a relationship. But why did she cheat on me with him.

 

Because she has the right to pick what she wants...

 

Like I said in your other thread, this is not "love". This is more about ego, desperation, emotions.

 

If I'm happy with myself, doesn't matter if someone doesn't want me. I say well "that's their loss, NEXT". We can't sit here and base our self-worth on whether or not one person finds us desirable.

 

There are people that think I'm f-ing ugly. Some people think I'm a Goddess - it's all in the eye of the beholder.

[Sandrino]

Because she has the right to pick what she wants...

 

Like I said in your other thread, this is not "love". This is more about ego, desperation, emotions.

 

If I'm happy with myself, doesn't matter if someone doesn't want me. I say well "that's their loss, NEXT". We can't sit here and base our self-worth on whether or not one person finds us desirable.

 

There are people that think I'm f-ing ugly. Some people think I'm a Goddess - it's all in the eye of the beholder.

 

She can have whoever she wants sure. But hurting other people in the process when she was the one to approach and make a move makes absolutely no sense to me, and i'll never understand.

[Spectre]

It's called your ex is selfish and skanky and doesn't care who she hurts. You say she was able to sustain a 3 year relationship, you have no clue how well it truly went or if she ever cheated on that guy. Even if she claimed to you she never did, she is a cheater so..how can you believe her? Of course she's not going to say she did that.

 

Plus dude you are 20 and this girl is still in high school. It's not a massive age difference, but in some ways she is worlds away from you. There is a difference between dating a girl who is still in high school as opposed to one that is not. I learned that the hard way before. People will say "oh she is 17 and young she doesn't know better" but people do. The truth is, she does know better, but she just doesn't care. It is no surprise you miss her, it's not like your relationship was made up entirely of her cheating on you.

[spunky123]

Just move on, you deserve better. I was in a relationship for four years when I discovered that she has been cheating on me for a year, got pregnant while we were still together, never told me there was another guy and top it off, I discovered that she gave birth without her telling me.

 

I slowly accepted and discovered that we are not meant to be, and I was better off without her. And also realized that we both had shortcomings that came to my attention to make myself a better person

 

FYI. I was sent to a different place for about half a year but I called her everyday and remained contact, and she blocked me on facebook, it just so happens that I had a game account for my app games that I don't want to tie in my main account

[Sandrino]

It's called your ex is selfish and skanky and doesn't care who she hurts. You say she was able to sustain a 3 year relationship, you have no clue how well it truly went or if she ever cheated on that guy. Even if she claimed to you she never did, she is a cheater so..how can you believe her? Of course she's not going to say she did that.

 

Plus dude you are 20 and this girl is still in high school. It's not a massive age difference, but in some ways she is worlds away from you. There is a difference between dating a girl who is still in high school as opposed to one that is not. I learned that the hard way before. People will say "oh she is 17 and young she doesn't know better" but people do. The truth is, she does know better, but she just doesn't care. It is no surprise you miss her, it's not like your relationship was made up entirely of her cheating on you.

 

Its just that now that i know someone like her can be as heartless as she was, it scares me for the future. I can't trust any woman right now, and i want nothing to do with any of them atm.

 

I dont believe love can last anymore. I always hoped i can find someone and marry them and be with them my whole life. But now i just dont believe in it, if it seems one or the other is going to cheat eventually. Do you guys believe love can last a lifetime in this day and age?