scatterd Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 (edited) I woke up early and started my day off crying. My husband asked for a divorce about 2 months ago.He has been doing what he wants and acting single.I told him it was wrong that we are in the house and My Daughter and Grandchildren are here and everyone thinks hes cheating. He said we are broke up.I told him we are not Boyfriend and girlfriend that we have been married 21 years and that you do not just breakup.I have been crying since the day he asked for Divorce.I do not even know why he wants it he has no answer. I do not know how much more I can take. These holidays will not be forgotten its been as painful as my parents dying around the holidays. He went to my family party yesterday I was to depressed to go.While he was there he was talking about divorcing me.I do not know this man the person I loved is gone.I do not know how he can do this to me and the kids.I am so lost I hope after today things will mellow. But I do wish a Merry Christmas to you all. Edited December 25, 2014 by scatterd Link to post Share on other sites
eblude Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Hey I hope you having good christmass . I am not wisest person here . but an advice stop looking for why . my wife left me , filed divorce day after . kept messaging her if it is over nothing .. then went nuts and filed a restraining order to strip my dogs.. other she took all money and left me penniless . Do I have an Idea why she betrayed me? no , do I like to know ? sometimes i do but i gave up because her answer will be more painful. My point is . maybe you can put you boundaries and ask him to accept it .. meanwhile you make yourmind if want a divorce.. Sure I am no place to imagine how hard it is .. But Took me time , still it has ups and downs but I start seeing some light at end of the tunnel . Focus on youself and what makes you feel better DO NOT LET HIM DRAIN YOU I did that to myself and trust me you do not wanna end where i ended Praying for you Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Thank you for the response.Its been he-- being in this home with him.I obtained an attorney but wanted to get the kids through Christmas. He made sure I was hurt caught him wrapping present for other woman left for 9 hours said he would be right back.He gave me a plastic hand fan and chop sticks from japan and a cheap pillow from the Grandchildren.I went and got cologne set and 3 out fits from the children and I all he wants to do is hurt me.I am ready to divorce now and I will not be as kind as was going to be.He is mean to everybody hates everybody. He is not who I married I think he snapped.Good rid dens she has no Idea whats she has gotten. I have been faithful and treated him good. Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Scatterd, I did not know how new your divorce process was. Since you joined in 2009, I had assumed it was long ago. I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm in my world of pain today too, so know that you're not alone. I was hoping to find some people here to talk to, but I guess everyone is busy today (no surprise.) I wish I knew why people change. My wife says she has been unhappy for a long time, but she seemed to enjoy our time together as far as I could tell. I told her it was a surprise to me when she filed for divorce and she asked me how it is possible I couldn't see it coming! Maybe I have been blind. Regardless, the pain is terrible so I know how it is. I wish you some peace on this day. It's 2:30 here, think I'll start drinking... Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Kenmore thank you for writing.I am so sorry also for your pain its hard to understand how a person says they love you and next day they dint. I also hurt like you I have to wonder if later they will regret it. A lot of times if cheating it does not work and they come back knocking. I see the guilty in his eyes he asked for divorce and has not filed so I hurried and got an attorney.As far as coming here in 2009 he did the same thing and when I started leaving he begged for another chance and I gave it to him. He has a character flaw I should have went ahead and divorced he promised he would not do it again but he has. So far I do not see regret. I do not think this will hit him till he is served and I start Packing. What a mess.I wish you the best and hope and find someone more loyal and eager to make a relationship work.Big Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 scatterd, I did not know your husband cheated on you. That is the one thing both my wife and myself told the other that we would never abide. I feel fortunate that even though she is divorcing me, neither of us seem to have any desire to be with someone else (yet.) I can't know how that feels. I have been married twice (first wife died) and both wives have been faithful to me as I have been to them. In fact, I can honestly say that to me, even to this day, my wife is the only woman I want. Even though I can't know how it feels, I know it must be terrible and you must feel very betrayed. If this has happened before, then of course you are right, it would continue to happen as long as you let it. It IS a character flaw. Big hugs back!! I hope you're holding up today. Ken Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Thanks Ken Link to post Share on other sites
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