wrigjt Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Every year for Christmas my husband buys his sister 3 kids gifts who's ages is 18 which are twins and 8. His sister has never bought my kids gifts. So on Christmas day my husband goes to the ATM and withdraws $200 to give to them. I asked him why are you giving them gifts when your sister has never bought our kids gifts. He goes on to say because she's a single parent, so I tells him that's not an excuse when she can go to COACH and MICHAEL KORS and purchase $300 and $400 purses and shoes.* I would like to know if I was wrong for telling him not to get them gifts. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Well those are his nephews/nieces. So it is his choice to get them gifts. But you are not wrong for voicing your concern. You can at least suggest for him to not spend a lot on them, maybe get three gifts that are less than $100 or $75? Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Every year for Christmas my husband buys his sister 3 kids gifts who's ages is 18 which are twins and 8. His sister has never bought my kids gifts. So on Christmas day my husband goes to the ATM and withdraws $200 to give to them. I asked him why are you giving them gifts when your sister has never bought our kids gifts. He goes on to say because she's a single parent, so I tells him that's not an excuse when she can go to COACH and MICHAEL KORS and purchase $300 and $400 purses and shoes.* I would like to know if I was wrong for telling him not to get them gifts. He probably feels very close to his sister and protective of her with being a single parent and all. But I surely do agree with you about priorities. People get down to Christmas and act like they can't afford gifts for others - and probably mostly because of their priorities the rest of the year. Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 If you think the only reason one should give a gift is to get one back, then you don't understand Christmas at all. I hope you don't pass that generous spirit on to your children. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wrigjt Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 No, I'm not being evil and yes i do know what the meaning of christmas is. My kids has never received gifts from anyone on their dad side not even for their birthday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 How is it the kid's fault if their mom is spending a lot of money on herself? I could understand if the gifts were going directly to her. Since they're not, I don't see why she should factor into the decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wrigjt Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Not one time Did I say it was the kids fault, but if you can afford to buy your nephews gifts you should. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 If you can afford to give the gifts then why not? I am very attached to my sister's kids. That said, it is kind of odd to me that your husband wants to give just because she is a single Mom when apparently she is very well off? (You mentioned going to Coach, Kors, etc. for handbags). While I don't think gift giving should be about tit for tat - it is kind of strange she doesn't bother to do anything for your kids, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wrigjt Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Her and the older sister had an issue to, because she would rather buy the expensive items rather than to pay her light bill. so now her and the older sister no longer communicates because the older sister wouldn't loan her the money to pay her light bill but she calls my husband crying cause her lights are about to get cut off. No it's tit for tat it. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Her and the older sister had an issue to, because she would rather buy the expensive items rather than to pay her light bill. so now her and the older sister no longer communicates because the older sister wouldn't loan her the money to pay her light bill but she calls my husband crying cause her lights are about to get cut off. No it's tit for tat it. Ah, ok. OP, is your upset really that his sister does not buy your children gifts, or are you actually irritated that your husband seems to enable her childish behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 gift ɡift/ noun noun: gift; plural noun: gifts 1. a thing given willingly to someone without payment Note the parts that say "willingly" and "without payment." Gifts are given from the heart, without expectations for anything in return. If his sister spends the utility money on expensive items for herself, it's likely that her kids suffer for it. How wonderful that their uncle sees to it that they are a priority on Christmas, even if their mother does not see it that way the rest of the year. He sounds like a great guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Gifts are just that -- voluntary. Yes you were wrong to tell him not to buy his blood relatives gifts. You are also blowing an opportunity to teach your own children. Gifts are not quid pro quo & it is sad that your SIL doesn't do anything for your family but you can use this to teach your kids about generosity & being the bigger person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contact1 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Yes it was wrong, as a gift is just that, something you give to someone else without any conditions or expectations from it, regardless of a person's financial situation or the "number" of gifts they give. It's quite selfish and gives off an entitlement attitude of "my kids should be given a gift too otherwise your kids get nothing", oh the holiday seasons Link to post Share on other sites
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