Broom Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 LC or NC outside of work and doing the actually dirty? Did he even pretend to care? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldieLox Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 LC or NC outside of work and doing the actually dirty? Did he even pretend to care? NC outside of work. He had my phone number (he never used it), I did not have his. That is something that always pissed me off. Everything was always on his terms. He mentioned one day his wife was going through his phone. I do believe that, however I also believe that I just wasn't good enough to want to have a conversation with outside of work. I served one purpose in his wonderful, perfect life. It's my fault for not seeing it right away and continuing to let it happen for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Gosh, that reminds me exactly of mine. I gave my number to him and then he totally pretended that he didn't have it as an excuse not to contact. Totally only wanted to talk at work and even then it was sporadic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldieLox Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Gosh, that reminds me exactly of mine. I gave my number to him and then he totally pretended that he didn't have it as an excuse not to contact. Totally only wanted to talk at work and even then it was sporadic. Mine actually asked for a way to contact me outside of work. Made promises of us meeting up but then never followed through. Too scared to get caught (now in hindsight, thank the good lord that never occurred). Just a mess all around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Mine did as well. He refused to communicate via phone or text, as I said pretended not to have my number when I gave it to him. And yep! He made plans for us to meet, which were totally not initiated or even hinted at by me. I was actually surprised that he wanted to spend a whole day together. I never asked to meet him outside of work or hinted at anything. And he just made the plans, which of course never happened. And then completely canceled. Wow, this sounds so similar. Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted January 8, 2015 Share Posted January 8, 2015 My MM had my # because we were "friends" first and would text once and awhile when a bunch of us were meeting for work stuff or something. When it started at work, we communicated all day long so there wasn't much communication outside of work when we weren't together. Then when he switched jobs we communicated mostly via email. He liked to text but I put an end to that so he mostly just texts me when we are meeting for lunch/drinks or something and he is telling me he is on his way. So it's mostly email - day and sometimes into the night and occasionally on weekends I will hear from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Goldie, how are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoldieLox Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 Goldie, how are you? Day by day, thanks for asking. Still looking for a new job, but because I work in such a specialized field, there's nothing out there right now. I've started looking in surrounding cities/states as well. All I need is time. And a way to get my anger out -.- Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Mine is still trying to send cryptic messages and make power plays. I need an outlet to get rid of this frustration. Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 What is he actually doing? Cause that's nuts and this is why I'm thankful my MM is no longer working for the same company because I wouldn't be able to take that in my face all day like before. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 You're in a serious and dangerous situation and you need specific professional help: * An employment lawyer, to craft a plan for disengagement that minimizes the risk of workplace blowback to you * An individual counselor, to work on decision making about your life and how to end the A and R the M if possible. Secondarily, tactics on how to deal with the pain of seeing MM at work (possible watching him ignore you, belittle you, and/ or start prowling for his next A) * A marriage counselor, to work on reconciliation or split if needed * A career counselor, in case the workplace becomes untenable What you need is way above and beyond Internet forum counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 These displays of neediness are mostly just cries out for attention. Now that I am in VLC and not interested anymore, just tiny jabs here and there to draw reaction. Might be talking to someone and say something loud enough to where I can hear it. Now to them, it might seem like an innocent sentence. But it is really a double-meaning. And still making excuses to come in my field of vision or near me in general under the guise that it's work related. If I am talking to a co-worker or in an area, he will find an excuse to walk by or walk over and interject in the conversation. And then initiate eye contact and stare a hole through me. Link to post Share on other sites
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