relationship or lack there of

[Tips]

Help!!! I am kinda' seeing this guy, well at least I think I am. See we never talk about what we are to each other and that kinda' bothers me. We mess around and have fun but I don't know if he thinks of me as anything. But I'm too afraid to ask because things are going so well, I am afraid if I rush things, he'll get scared and run. I don't think he's seeing anyone else but that thought still lingers. Also if we cannot see each other we talk everyday. What do I do?

[Tony T]

You should know the answers to most of your questions just by the way you feel. If a guy is only seeing you, you just have a pretty good idea of that.

 

Depending on how long you have been seeing him, if reasonable and sufficient time has passed I think it is quite correct to seek clarification of his feelings for you. I also think it is not out of line to ask if he's seeing other people. I think that would be important to know...if you've been dating him two or three months.

 

If things are going well, there should be nothing to be afraid of. Even if he is seeing other people, that still shouldn't stop you from continuing to have fun and enjoying your times with him. If it's important to you to have an exclusive relationship, tell him that. If he doesn't like the idea, fine. Just keep him as a friend and move on. Whatever you want to do is fine...life's too short to do anything else.

 

If you talk to him every day and you have been seeing him a while, you should be very comfortable asking him whatever you want to know. Do it!!!

[Miss Mojo]

when i first started seeing my ex, it started off very similar to the way you are with this guy. i really liked him, and it was as though we were "exclusively mucking around together" (for want of a better expression) but nothing had ever been set straight.

 

the two of us got to this point where we didn't really know where we stood with each other, but neither of us were aware we were both wondering this.

 

we went for a drive oneday to get some lunch, and out of nowhere he said to me, "i just have to let you know that i like you so much more than a 'casual' relationship". he knew this was the point where i would either say, "i'm sorry, but i like it this way", or, "i feel that way about you too".

 

as it turned out, i felt the same way, and from that point on, we knew we had the kind of relationship that both of us were secretely wanting - boyfriend and girlfriend. he risked me possibly not wanting the same as him, but he asked anyway. and to be honest, it was a huge relief when we clarified where we stood with each other. i told him it was a weight off my shoulders to know how we honestly felt about each other, and from that moment on, i had the most wonderful relationship i have ever had (until we broke up of course!).

 

so my advice, from my example, is to just bite the bullet and tell him how you feel and find out if he feels the same way. you never know your luck.

 

if he doesn't feel the same way, don't despair. you can then decide if you want to continue with the current status of your relationship with him or not.

 

you really have nothing to lose here. one of my favourite titles for a book is "feel the fear and do it anyway". in other words, go for it girl and let him know how you feel!

 

good luck

[WGirl]

If you have been seeing this guy a while and you aren't sure where you stand, ask. Especially if you are serious about him, you should ask. The worst thing, is not knowing where you stand. You could be on one page and him on another or you could both be thinking the same thing but are both afraid to say anything. I was involved with someone and I was never really sure where I stood with him. It turned out, he wasn't as serious as I was. I was afraid to ask him but I shouldn't have been because it may have saved me some heartache. I think you should definitely find out so you know where to go from there.

when i first started seeing my ex, it started off very similar to the way you are with this guy. i really liked him, and it was as though we were "exclusively mucking around together" (for want of a better expression) but nothing had ever been set straight. the two of us got to this point where we didn't really know where we stood with each other, but neither of us were aware we were both wondering this. we went for a drive oneday to get some lunch, and out of nowhere he said to me, "i just have to let you know that i like you so much more than a 'casual' relationship". he knew this was the point where i would either say, "i'm sorry, but i like it this way", or, "i feel that way about you too". as it turned out, i felt the same way, and from that point on, we knew we had the kind of relationship that both of us were secretely wanting - boyfriend and girlfriend. he risked me possibly not wanting the same as him, but he asked anyway. and to be honest, it was a huge relief when we clarified where we stood with each other. i told him it was a weight off my shoulders to know how we honestly felt about each other, and from that moment on, i had the most wonderful relationship i have ever had (until we broke up of course!).

 

so my advice, from my example, is to just bite the bullet and tell him how you feel and find out if he feels the same way. you never know your luck. if he doesn't feel the same way, don't despair. you can then decide if you want to continue with the current status of your relationship with him or not. you really have nothing to lose here. one of my favourite titles for a book is "feel the fear and do it anyway". in other words, go for it girl and let him know how you feel!

 

good luck