Ancient blunders bothering me

[HenryII]

I'm68 and a couple immature blunders way back in high school are weighing on me and I would like some thoughts from women about these.

 

I was making great eye contact in study hall with a girl and she asked me to a girls league dance. My first date. It' s a special dance and my 3 older sisters told me what was expected of me.

 

Take her to the dance then dinner out to a resturant where everyone there will go.

Of course , they never told me to make plans/reservations.

 

Then An aquaintence of mine needed a ride, could we double. I said sure , that may be fun. On the night in question, we meet up to get the girls and I told him I am going to resturant after. He says he wants to go out after but has no money for resturant.

 

This is where I screwed up. Instead of telling him he was on his own and leave without him and his date. I felt that I had to change my plans to suit him. I just did not think this thru.

Ended up at a take out pizza. What a jerk I felt like.

As I said this was a special dance. The girls go all out , new dress etc. And even during the socializing at the dance I noticed a thread on my girls dress that was loos and made mention of it by tugging on it. She was a very well endowed girl and the thread was right at the pinnacle of her endowment. What an ass I felt like immediatly after.

 

So after the pizza fiasco, I took us to the beach to park and whatever. Wasn't there long when my girl wanted to go home. I did not blame her. I had a lot to learn . I took my aquaintance home , then my date home and apologized for ruining the night. Never spoke to her since.

I never explained then why I acted the way I did. Explained my shortcomings/immaturity.

Turns out about 8 years later I worked with her husband for a day although I did not realize that until much later.

 

She has since div/remarried and I sent an e-mail thru her new H explaining that I knew her and would like to contact her. Got no response.

 

I know I just want to clear my own conscince and don;t want her to go to the grave remembering the jerk that she asked to the dance.

 

My question to the ladies is,Does she even remember this, and if so, would it make any difference. Thanks for reading.

 

PS My prom date was also a disaster.

[whichwayisup]

You're 68 and hanging on to the past, something that happens years ago, not healthy.

 

I doubt she remembers. She's moved on with her life, twice married so the chances of her carrying that one experience with her to this day is really slim.

 

Leave it alone, you contacted her husband and got no response.

 

Can I assume that the trip down memory lane also is because of facebook?

[HenryII]

Not facbook, classmates.com

Plus, time on my hands and thinking what have I done in my life. Thanks for the response. I guessed that but needed to hear it from someone else.

My classmates are staring to pass away and I am feeling my own mortality. Again, thanks.

[mrs rubble]

Forgive yourself!!

I doubt that it was the biggest disappointment of her life.

Think about all the diappointments you've had throughout your own life, what sort of things do you remember? I doubt she's sitting around 50years on thinking "Gee I wish Henry II had taken me to a better food joint after that dance in the 60's." For all you know, she may have Alziehmers and not even remember who you are!

If my biggest worry/regret/concern at 68 years old was what a date 50 years ago thought of me, I'd be thrilled.

[spiderowl]

I'm sure we can all do likewise - look back on dates and think how stupidly we behaved or wondered what they must have thought. You just have to forgive yourself. She probably just put it down to youth and inexperience too; that's what we do.

 

For instance, I feel bad about turning down several guys who, at different times, walked up to me at a dance or somewhere else and asked for a date. I turned them down straight away. I thought they were weird. Looking back, they were nervous and very brave. I feel bad about that now. I had no idea why they were approaching me anyway so I assumed they must be weird. Not much I can do about it now.

 

I turned down a New Year's kiss from a guy I had a crush on at uni. Why? I don't know. I was shy, didn't know what to do, I couldn't believe he was interested even. Talk about regret! I regret what could have been but also regret possibly hurting a nice guy. Mind you, he probably didn't get turned down very often so I'm sure he just moved on.

 

I'm sure others have their stories too. We just move on and they move on. No point worrying about it all ages afterwards, especially as they have probably forgotten it too.

[HenryII]

I'm 72 now and due to the miricle of the "WEB" I have discovered that the girl in question passed on suddenly over 2 years ago. I am grieving and it will pass. I am thinking about the "What if's" Which is a common thing.

 

This is the secound girlfriend I had in HS to have passed. It really sucks getting old and all your friends start passing.

[Thingsfallapart]

Wow, Henry thanks for the update 4 years later!

You really do hold onto the past.

Why was this girl so special? Is it possible you’d had her on a pedestal for the last 50 years?

[HenryII]

Wow, Henry thanks for the update 4 years later!

You really do hold onto the past.

Why was this girl so special? Is it possible you’d had her on a pedestal for the last 50 years?

 

A little, I suppose. What I feel more is what if I had corrected my errors what more have been . She after all married once and went on to raise a fine family and marriage. I am a 1 woman guy. I did eventually marry the girl next door. But could not keep that marriage together.

[bathtub-row]

Oh, dear! She may remember those things but I’m sure it’s with a little giggle at how silly young people are. We’ve all done things we regret and it usually happened when we were young. She’s a little nuts if she thinks of that and judges you for it. You were a kid. Don’t worry about it. Really.

[bathtub-row]

I didn’t realize the first part was an old post. Man, that’s sad. I’m sorry. Try not to dwell on the death thing too much. That’s not the best way to spend your life.

[preraph]

Yes, that's the worst thing about getting old.