Disgusted with myself

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

For years I've been battling hypothyroid, but here lately in the past several months, its only gotten worse. I've gained 20lbs in less than 6 months and my hair continues to fall out. I'm SOOO tired all the time that trying to get up and exercise feels like trying to conquer Mt Everest. I've seen several different doctors and do blood work every 6 weeks, but no one can seem to get me on a consistent dosage and I just seem to keep going downhill. My muscles have gotten increasingly weak. Just going out running errands for a few hours is exhausting. On the weekends, I don't want to leave the house and rarely do. My boyfriend is amazing and tells me everyday that I'm beautiful and he thinks I'm perfect, but I know its not true. He pretends I haven't gained 20lbs and that I still look like I did when he met me.

 

I feel disgusting. None of my clothes fit as I've gone up 2 sizes and trying to shop for clothes only makes me want to have an emotional breakdown in the dressing room. Every time I shower, I have to fish clumps of hair out of the drain. I don't know how to stop this train of decline...

 

Anyone else on board that has dealt with hypothyroid that can give me some tips or advice - things you may have done that have helped. Thanks.

[TabbyHearts]

I have dealt with hypothyroidism and I know how hard it is. You never realize how much a hormone controls in your body, so trust me I understand the struggle, and it is really really hard. I haven't battled as long as you have, I took me about a year to see the light at the end of the tunnel and even now things could still be just that bit better but I'm up for a review in January.

 

I know you said you get blood tests every six weeks and can't find a stable dose, is that because your levels keep going up and down or because you keep needing more and more? Are you on pure T4 (synthroid)? What has helped me was seeing an Endocrinologist. GPs are capable of handling thyroid for the most part but if it's not being treated as easily as you would hope, seeing an Endo consultant might be helpful, but only if they are open to ALL forms of thyroid therapy (meaning synthetic like Synthroid or natural dessicated like Armour), and are willing to treat your symptoms, not just your numbers all the time. Again, I don't know how much you know about thyroid, but some people need a different kind of medication.

 

4 years is a long time, and I don't know how conservative they have been with your dosages, but for me once I hit a good dose (100mcg synthetic a day) it took about 2-3 months to start feeling the benefit. Other than medication, I also saw an herbalist, and I absolutely feel the best when I eat right and get a good sleep, and that doesn't just mean # of hours, it means quality of sleep and consistently going to bed before 11PM. If I let myself get off schedule or have a late night, I pay for it for a few days. It doesn't mean I don't live my life, but I am aware of the effect it has on me. Also check into your iron, b12, etc levels and take supplements if required, but only 4 hours after you take thyroid meds. Also take your thyroid on empty stomach and don't eat for 30 mins - 1 hour and especially do not take a calcium vitamin at the same time, it blocks absorption. Other medications like birth control can block absorption too so look into that.

 

In the meantime, be very grateful that you have a supportive partner, as being sick for a long time can take its toll on your relationships. Happy to try and answer any questions you have, take care

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Thank you. I've been on different dosages of Synthroid for some time. It took almost a year for the first doctor to be satisfied with my dosage (increased slightly with each visit). Then because of insurance changes, I had to change doctors and they said my dosage was too high and brought me down again. I started feeling worse. They added another medicine for T3 in addition to my dosage and I've been on that for about 8 weeks now. It's supposed to help stabilize my metabolism and the weight gain, but I haven't seen any improvement as of yet. We discussed seeking out an Endocrinologist and I guess that's my next step. I did some reading on Synthroid and it seems that this medicine had a lot of inconsistencies as far as improvement, but is the most commonly prescribed thyroid medicine and what doctors always turn to.

 

The thought of dealing with this for the rest of my life is so frustrating. I will look into the vitamins as well. Thanks again.

[Els]

Sorry you're going through this, OP.

 

I actually think you should focus on your mental health while the treatment for your hypothyroidism is being worked on. Things will get better and you can lose the weight once your doctors have found a dose that works for you. But it's imperative that you keep yourself healthy in the mean time as far as you are able to, and believing that you are 'disgusting' is not the way to do it. Focus on the little things that you can do and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Enjoy your nourishing relationship with your partner, and be thankful that you have a great guy who cares deeply about you.

[writergal]

Wait...so this whole time you haven't been treated by an actual endocrinologist, and just a regular doctor? Huuuge mistake!

 

I think you need to switch to an endo asap and let that person take over your medication dosage / lab work, etc. Never ever trust a regular MD with your thyroid care. They only possess a general knowledge of the thyroid gland, whereas the endocrinologist is a specialist in that area.

 

I think once you switch over to an actual endo, you will notice a huge difference in your level of care and it's possible your fatigue / hair loss symptoms will improve.

 

I don't know how old you are but hormonal changes due to age (especially middle age) can mess with the thyroid's ability to keep the body's metabolism buzzing along at a moderate pace. Even if you get your Synthroid dosage upped, add more meds to supplement or support the Synthroid, that is no guarantee that your body's metabolism will rev up enough to promote weight loss.

 

When my blood work showed that my thyroid level was too low, that explained why it had taken me 6 months to lose 8 pounds (despite the fact that I walked 3 to 4 miles a day for 6 months every day and watched what I ate). It can be very frustrating when you put in 110% effort towards a goal like weight loss, when your thyroid is broken which is pretty much the body's regulator / barometer that controls the endocrine system which controls digestion, metabolism, hormone levels.

 

The thyroid gland basically controls how well cells burn fuel from food to produce energy. You may want to get your pituitary gland/adrenal glands checked as well because when that's messed up, it doesn't process thyrotropin (thyroid hormones) properly and can create symptoms like extreme fatigue, depression, weight gain, digestive problems and skin problems (acne, eczema). Adrenal fatigue is a common side effect of hypothyroidism.

 

The only way you can fix adrenal fatigue (based on my own experience) is to adjust your diet to include more organic food and less processed food, cut out caffeine and alcohol and sugar, and try to exercise every day. There are many books on how to battle adrenal fatigue and the symptoms associated with it, which is what it sounds like you may be suffering from. But that's all the more reason for you to ditch your MD and get yourself an endocrinologist.

 

I highly recommend reading articles from thyroid advocate Mary Shomon. She's got a Facebook page, a newsletter, interviews with thyroid specialists and nutritionists, etc. she's a treasure trove of information for men and women who suffer from thyroid disease.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

@ Writergal - this is great information! Thank you. I will call my doctor in the morning and ask for a referral to an endocrinologist!

[writergal]

Hey you're welcome! I've been dealing with thyroid issues for 20 years so I can totally empathize with what you're going through. MD's are good for basic care (flu, cold, etc.) but are not specialists in any area. I would never trust an MD to treat my thyroid disorder. No way.

[whichwayisup]

Have your Dr's check your iron and B12 levels? Or is all this just related to hypothyroid?

 

Your boyfriend loves you, trust that.

 

If you can't start to feel good about yourself it is possible a quick stint of going on anti depressants could help your negative thoughts and/or going to counseling to work on your self esteem.

[writergal]

Actually, anti-depressants would be the wrong route to go where the thyroid and adrenal glands are concerned.

 

Seriously, why do so many people automatically assume that an antidepressant will cure the fatigue and depression that is symptomatic of an under functioning thyroid gland, and fatigued adrenal glands. It really irritates me.

 

OP if you choose the antidepressant route before you get your levels tested and meet with a nutritionist, it's the wrong way to go. Meet with a nutritionist who helps thyroid patients with dietary changes that boost energy / metabolism, and get your levels checked by an endocrinologist first.

 

Low vitamin B12 and D are culprits for depression and fatigue in general, especially where hypothryoid disease is concerned. This is why I suggest to the OP to read up on Mary Shomon, and nutritionists who recommend a thyroid diet.

 

When those two vitamin levels low, they make you feel depressed. That is why I think it's misguided for people to assume an antidepressant will fix what could be caused by a deficiency, in the way the body excretes hormones into the blood, processes energy from cells, absorbed calcium and nutrients from food and / or supplements and vitamins. I mean, I get why people fall back on the antidepressant as a quick mood fix, but as many here know, I an an advocate for nutrition and not medication where depression is concerned. And depression is not a chemical imbalance. It has to do with hormone levels and other mineral deficiencies.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Actually, anti-depressants would be the wrong route to go where the thyroid and adrenal glands are concerned.

 

Seriously, why do so many people automatically assume that an antidepressant will cure the fatigue and depression that is symptomatic of an under functioning thyroid gland, and fatigued adrenal glands. It really irritates me.

 

OP if you choose the antidepressant route before you get your levels tested and meet with a nutritionist, it's the wrong way to go. Meet with a nutritionist who helps thyroid patients with dietary changes that boost energy / metabolism, and get your levels checked by an endocrinologist first.

 

Low vitamin B12 and D are culprits for depression and fatigue in general, especially where hypothryoid disease is concerned. This is why I suggest to the OP to read up on Mary Shomon, and nutritionists who recommend a thyroid diet.

 

When those two vitamin levels low, they make you feel depressed. That is why I think it's misguided for people to assume an antidepressant will fix what could be caused by a deficiency, in the way the body excretes hormones into the blood, processes energy from cells, absorbed calcium and nutrients from food and / or supplements and vitamins. I mean, I get why people fall back on the antidepressant as a quick mood fix, but as many here know, I an an advocate for nutrition and not medication where depression is concerned. And depression is not a chemical imbalance. It has to do with hormone levels and other mineral deficiencies.

 

My ex was military so for years I was seeing whichever doctor was on rotation during that time period. For two years, they couldn't diagnose all the issues I was having and tried putting me on several different anti-depressants. They made me feel worse and I stopped taking them. Then finally one day I got a new doctor and she immediately zoomed in on the thyroid and started me on the synthroid. By that time, I was having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep, severe depression, fatigue, TERRIBLE short term memory loss, couldn't focus, etc. Since being on the synthroid, my mental functions have gotten much better, but my physical side has begun decreasing rapidly. I am also turning 39 in Feb, so I imagine that would have some impact as well.

 

I gave birth to 4 children, including twins, and was still wearing a size 6 up until about May of this year. That's when things began to go downhill. I've been diagnosed with low iron before and haven't been on any vitamins, so I'm sure I should have that checked as well. I can't understand why none of these doctors have ever recommended sending me to an endo before!

[GildedLily]

This site helped me years ago, it's about alternatives to synthetic thyroid treatment Stop the Thyroid Madness? - Hypothyroidism and thyroid mistreatmenthttp://http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com

[Els]

I generally support usage of antidepressant medications where needed, but in this case I think it's a bit premature to jump to them. There's a clear and resolvable underlying medical cause here, and while I'm only playing armchair psychiatrist, based on your description you aren't any more depressed than any other hypothyroid patient who hasn't had a successful treatment plan would be. If you do think you might be unduly depressed, though, do arrange to talk to a psych and see what they think.

[PhoenixRysing]

I second all of those who recommend getting your B12 and D levels checked, both of which tend to be low in hypos and and both of which can cause the fatigue and depression you mentioned. I also have found a close link to those with Pernicious Anemia and Hypothyroidism to gluten intolerance. Cutting out gluten was the best thing I ever personally did - albeit one of the hardest! You may want to check on that along with other food sensitivities as possible culprits. Many of these issues are interlinked and cause cascading health problems.

 

I have been in your shoes and the road to recovery is frustrating and at times heartbreaking, but if you can find a good Endo or Internist who can look at your health holistically you will be in much better shape to find the underlying causes. Also, read up on your own condition, take charge of your health. Learn to understand and read your own results (if you haven't already). Listen to your body to yourself even when no one else will. You can and will overcome this. Good luck.

[writergal]

My ex was military so for years I was seeing whichever doctor was on rotation during that time period. For two years, they couldn't diagnose all the issues I was having and tried putting me on several different anti-depressants. They made me feel worse and I stopped taking them. Then finally one day I got a new doctor and she immediately zoomed in on the thyroid and started me on the synthroid. By that time, I was having anxiety attacks, couldn't sleep, severe depression, fatigue, TERRIBLE short term memory loss, couldn't focus, etc. Since being on the synthroid, my mental functions have gotten much better, but my physical side has begun decreasing rapidly. I am also turning 39 in Feb, so I imagine that would have some impact as well.

 

I gave birth to 4 children, including twins, and was still wearing a size 6 up until about May of this year. That's when things began to go downhill. I've been diagnosed with low iron before and haven't been on any vitamins, so I'm sure I should have that checked as well. I can't understand why none of these doctors have ever recommended sending me to an endo before!

 

That's the problem when you have to move around a lot and see different MD's. Each of them has an opinion about your symptoms (how wrong they were until the one who realized it was your thyroid that was under functioning).

 

That is also why I think it's better to see one endocrinologist instead of multiple doctors for what sounds like hypothyroid disease.

 

Were you able to get a referral to an endocrinologist by your doctor? If not, advocate for yourself and call endocrinologists who are in your healthcare network. You shouldn't need a referral anyway as you have a pre-existing condition (hypothyroid disease).

 

I recommend asking your new endocrinologist for these tests:

 

TSH with free T4 reflex test (obviously)

 

Cortisol /DHEAS Test (measures how well your adrenal glands are functioning: the doctor will inject you with a shot of cortisol and then you have to sit and wait at the doctor's office and they will take blood to measure over a period of a few hours how well your adrenal gland responds, and then there's the saliva test portion). **I had this done and thank goodness I did. My adrenal glands were sluggish and so I have had to alter my diet / nutrition (after I saw a nutritionist whom my endo dr. referred me to).

 

I second all of those who recommend getting your B12 and D levels checked, both of which tend to be low in hypos and and both of which can cause the fatigue and depression you mentioned. I also have found a close link to those with Pernicious Anemia and Hypothyroidism to gluten intolerance. Cutting out gluten was the best thing I ever personally did - albeit one of the hardest! You may want to check on that along with other food sensitivities as possible culprits. Many of these issues are interlinked and cause cascading health problems.

 

I have been in your shoes and the road to recovery is frustrating and at times heartbreaking, but if you can find a good Endo or Internist who can look at your health holistically you will be in much better shape to find the underlying causes. Also, read up on your own condition, take charge of your health. Learn to understand and read your own results (if you haven't already). Listen to your body to yourself even when no one else will. You can and will overcome this. Good luck.

 

I agree with you. The road to recovery is extremely frustrating and at times heartbreaking, because you have to be your own advocate, and you have to put up with your body not doing what you want it to (weight loss is difficult) because once your thyroid stops functioning properly, then you have this arduous process of tracing what caused it to stop functioning. Medication? Heart defect? Pituitary or adrenal issue? Chronic stress? Pregnancy? Diabetes? Hypoglycemia?

 

So many things can cause your thyroid to just quit on you. Mine quit in my late teens, but I was misdiagnosed until I turned 26. So, for about ten years my life was hell because of the hypothyroid symptoms I had weren't being caught by doctors, and so I was never referred to an endocrinologist. Finally, when I turned 26, I went in to complain about my symptoms to a new doctor who immediately had my thyroid scanned and did the right blood work to diagnose me with hypothyroid disease.

 

The causes of hypothyroid disease can be linked to a malfunctioning pituitary gland, under conversion of T4 to T3, elevated or decreased TBG (thyroxine-binding globulin) levels, or general thyroid resistance where the thyroid and pituitary gland functions fine but the thyroid hormones refuse to go into the cells they need to (chronic stress that raises your cortisol levels can be the cause, and high homocysteine aka heart defect like a murmur, enlarged heart, etc.). Thyroid disease can also be genetic too.

 

It's very tricky to treat a thyroid disease because of all the factors involved. Beyond taking the correct dose of Levothyroxine (generic name) or Synthroid, you need to know a heck of a lot more than the blood test results your endocrinologist will give you, to monitor the function of your thyroid, pituitary and adrenal glands. It sounds like a lot, but it's not once you do your research. Then you can ask more informed questions to your endocrinologist, and be an advocate for yourself.

 

Also, some medication like Lithium will destroy the thyroid gland's functionality (there's research to show this happened). Vitamin deficiency, skin problems, constipation, dry skin, dry nails, hair loss, lethargy, depression, physical exhaustion, exercise induced asthma, irritability, hypoglycemia, type i and type ii diabetes can all be linked to a thyroid disease like hypothyroid. If you have hyperthyroid disease, your heart races, you experience constant panic attacks, suffer from paranoia, sweat profusely, can't / won't eat, etc.

 

People don't realize just how vital the thyroid gland is to the body, and what happens when it over-functions (hyper) or under-functions (hypo). And get your thyroid levels checked every 3-6 months for a few years until you have a well established relationship with your endocrinologist. You'll learn to recognize when the dosage of Synthroid that you're taking needs to be adjusted.

Edited December 29, 2014 by writergal

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I have an appt in the morning with the doctor to go over my lab work again. The nurse said once we discuss the results, the doctor can give me a referral to an endo. Thank you for the great info everyone. I will report back. I feel like I have hope now.

[writergal]

Good luck tomorrow. Make sure you leave with a referral. Don't let your MD talk you out of getting one. If he/she does, then advocate for yourself and call around endocrinologist offices within your healthcare network to make your own appointment, because it's your health after all.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

**Update**

 

Just as I suspected, my labs came back even worse than the ones prior. :-(

The doctor also seems concerned about the effect it was having on my heart and had me do an EKG, but said it looked okay. They are now trying to get me in with an Endo, but said it probably won't be until after the New Year. She was very concerned with my results and said its best I see a specialist so that they can do a full work up on me and determine the best approach to getting me well again. I'm supposed to get a call today to see when they can get me in.

[writergal]

**Update**

 

Just as I suspected, my labs came back even worse than the ones prior. :-(

The doctor also seems concerned about the effect it was having on my heart and had me do an EKG, but said it looked okay. They are now trying to get me in with an Endo, but said it probably won't be until after the New Year. She was very concerned with my results and said its best I see a specialist so that they can do a full work up on me and determine the best approach to getting me well again. I'm supposed to get a call today to see when they can get me in.

 

Well that's good and bad news. It's good that you finally had some lab work done and it's bad news that you have to wait until after the New Year to see an endo. I would strongly suggest you ask the endo to do a scan of your thyroid. You'll have to be injected with a radioactive tracer. It's called a RAIU (radioactive iodine uptake test). Here is a link to the test. I had it done 20 years ago and thank god I did. It showed that one side of my thyroid gland was really damaged, which no blood work would show.

 

Thyroid Scan and Uptake

 

That test will show EVERYTHING wrong with your thyroid and give the endocrinologist / radiologist 100% of information they need to know as far as how it could be effecting your heart and other organs in your body. The radioactive tracer injection is warm and irritating but there's no side effects (I didn't have any) and felt fine afterward.

 

One thing to consider is that hypothyroid disease can be linked to heart disease. Mine has enlarged my heart (damn you hypothyroidism!) so I have to get my heart checked a LOT every year since heart disease runs in my family. Make sure you get a cardiac doctor as part of your "hypo team" if your current MD suspects heart damage. Find a cardiologist who has expertise with hypothyroid patients. The more informed you are, the quicker you can get the correct treatment to improve your symptoms and your overall health.

 

I hope it all works out for you. Now at least you're on the right track!

Edited December 30, 2014 by writergal

[TabbyHearts]

whoops, didn't see your update! worse in what way? As in they think you are on too much medication or not enough?

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

whoops, didn't see your update! worse in what way? As in they think you are on too much medication or not enough?

 

The last prescription was too much and they've lowered the dose back down again. They're only testing my TSH and T4 with these tests, so I'll be glad to see the Endo and see what a total workup reveals. She also prescribed more T3 at the same dosage, but since they don't test for that, she doesn't know what, if any, effect its had.

[writergal]

The last prescription was too much and they've lowered the dose back down again. They're only testing my TSH and T4 with these tests, so I'll be glad to see the Endo and see what a total workup reveals. She also prescribed more T3 at the same dosage, but since they don't test for that, she doesn't know what, if any, effect its had.

 

Jesus. So basically it sounds like your stupid MD made you hyperthyroid by over-dosing your Synthroid dosage. No wonder you felt out of whack! See? This is exactly why MD's have no business treating / handling diseases. That's what specialists are for.

 

I'm so sorry you've been put through hell Olivia. Your MD sounds like a total idiot. More T3? Is she trying to destroy your thyroid gland or what? All you should be taking is the Synthroid or Levothyroxine. T3 won't help you. But that's just my un-professional opinion as a long-time hypothyroid sufferer.

 

I hope you get in to see an endocrinologist soon.

[TabbyHearts]

All you should be taking is the Synthroid or Levothyroxine. T3 won't help you.

 

I wouldn't be so quick to assume that T3 won't help the OP. While I agree that T4 is usually enough to regulate the majority of hypo-sufferer's issues, some do need T3 either added in synthetically, or together with T4 in a dessicated porcine replacement.

 

However, there is literally NO excuse for your current Dr to be prescribing and adjusting you T3 without even knowing what your T3 levels are. T3 is powerful stuff, a very little goes a long way and acts quickly and if she can't see what it's doing to your T3 levels she is playing with fire.

 

The sooner you see the Endo the better. Explain you're on T3 but don't even know the level. Be prepared for the Endo to take you off that and go back to basics with adjusting your T4. Being over medicated can feel even worse than being under medicated.

 

My T3 levels were very low for the first while of my treatment. It was only after I got on a sufficient dose of Levo that after months it started to rise, meaning the T4 was actually converting into T3 that my body could use and then started really alleviating my symptoms.

 

Best of luck

[FitChick]

I have inherited my Hashimoto's Disease, which is the autoimmune version of hypo. I was so lucky to have found an endo who worked with my symptoms and not just labs. The first week on a low dose of Nature-throid and I felt better. He also measured my neck because the thyroid was swollen and had cysts. Over the next several months with increasing doses and blood levels to monitor, my neck measurement went down and the cysts went away. I thought the reason I had a thick neck was due to working out with weights!

 

It's no quick fix for weight loss though. I still had to lower my calories to about 1500 and exercise. Nothing strenous, just walking coupled with DVDs of weight workouts. At the beginning I was so tired I worked out lying down or sitting down.

 

Another concern is that you are also perimenopausal. Symptoms of peri and hypo are similar. The only way to tell for sure is to have your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone blood levels tested. However, first get the thyroid stuff sorted.

 

With the right endocrinologist you will be just fine. As my endo said, the thyroid is the only gland you can replace with a pill.