Where do I go from here?

[phi1618]

So my ex broke up with me about 2.5 months ago. We had dated for about 3.5 years and had broken up once before (six months in, that one was my doing). We met freshman year of college and are both new graduates as of last Spring. During the breakup she gave me a boatload of superficial reasons for the breakup that really had no depth at all ("I just need to find out who I am outside of you"; "I'm just in a really weird phase"; "I think I'm going through a quarter-life crisis"). It took me a few weeks to stop pressing her for answers and just accept that her feelings had changed.

 

Fast forward to last week. She texted me out of the blue saying that she "missed college and missed us in college" and that "she missed that feeling she had when we were together in college." I pressed her a little bit and she said she thinks her feelings changed when we were living together this past summer in my parent's house (she has a job in the neighboring city and needed a place to commute from until she found her own apartment). Obviously we couldn't be nearly as romantic/intimate around my parents, and she said she started to feel like we were roommates or best friends rather than boyfriend/girlfriend. She also mentioned that we had a "routine" that worked for us in college, and that it was hard on our relationship to have the routine change. Anyway, I avoided asking her how she would feel about giving us another shot because I feel like this is progress and I don't want to pressure her away.

 

So what's my next move? I've thought a lot about it and I still love this girl. I've talked to other girls and hooked up with others since, but I don't really even enjoy it (which is way different than how I was before I met her). I should add she's a very decisive and independent person, so I don't think no contact is going to affect her decision. Thoughts?

[Satu]

Sometimes relationships are context dependent, as in the case of people who get on fantastic in the army, but don't feel sure how to relate to each other when they leave.

 

For it to work now you'd have to remodel it for the new context.

 

You could mention that at some point, maybe.