realfriends Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hello all, This is the first time I have been on LS in many months and might be my last time for awhile again. For those who don't know, I was cheated on in September?(can't remember) of 2014 after about a 4.5 year relationship and had an extremely hard time coping (which was to be expected). Anyways, I know this time of the year was rough for me last year and I hope everyone is doing okay. I come here to give people hope and insight for those who are early in their stages of grievances. You can go back and read my updates that I had along the way but ill just talk about the last 5 or so months since I havnt updated. So as stated probably somewhere here, I moved cities for graduate school sometime in August. The change of sceneries and people was such a big help for my recovery. I met many new friends since I've been here that are in my small niche department and have gotten back into a routine with working out, running, and school work. I have also had many new experiences such as teaching my first class and picking a PI for the next 5 years. All of this stuff which kept me busy, never gave me time to think about the ordeal (even though I was sick about thinking about it already). The only time that she ever came in mind was at night which is why I sleep with music on now to keep my mind clear. Overall, I must say I'm about 98% recovered. I don't think about her but maybe once a month, and if so, its more of a positive memory than anything. I have not had any relationships or any hook ups or anything along those lines. I really do miss affection though. I am not actively seeking for anything although I am on tinder every now and then :0 . To be honest, I'm not really sure how to actively be on the look for someone even if I wanted to but I guess thats a different topic. For all of those who are grieving, I'm so sorry. I know how hard it was. It was by far the hardest thing to go through in my life and has shaped me in so many ways. It took me about a year to say that I'm really over it and am no longer in any form of pain or grievance. All that I can say is give it time and stay busy. Things will get better, I promise. Thank you to everyone who actively helped me through this rough patch in my life. Whether it was through reading your comments, stories, or road to recovery, it meant the world to me. This is a great community and I couldn't be more thankful that I found such a great place. Once again thank you all. (Feel free to ask me about anything that you want to know if you are curious. I still get email updates) -WN 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bnx Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 This is a huge accomplishment and I'd like to congratulate you! Wow! One important part of your success was your self-control in not hooking up with anybody; you focused on yourself and didn't find a rebound to use a Band-Aid. You're stronger because of this! Kudos to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels7 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Wow!! Congrats!! I so have a question. I'm finding the hardest thing about letting go is the thought of my ex getting together with someone else. That would destroy me if I found out. How did you deal with that and become indifferent? Link to post Share on other sites
Author realfriends Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Wow!! Congrats!! I so have a question. I'm finding the hardest thing about letting go is the thought of my ex getting together with someone else. That would destroy me if I found out. How did you deal with that and become indifferent? Yeah, thats a tough one. I told all of my friends who were close with me and her to never tell me anything about her life. Whether it was her getting a new bf or something involving her family. Luckily, my friends have done their part and Ive done my part on NC. After awhile, at least for me, you forget a lot of the negatives and just remember the good. I hope she's happy with her life and wish her the best of luck. To answer you question more straight forward, go full NC so that you never have to know. Finding out if my ex had a bf or not during my recovery would of been devastating in my recovery. Therefore, I didn't allow for that possibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Congratulations making progress a day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
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