Cocochai Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Not sure why I'm posting this, perhaps for support or because I'm feeling free once again after letting him know how I'm feeling. After two years of dealing with an emotional A w/ a MM to LC I'm exhausted. Tired of someone looking at me as only a piece of a$$ as if I'm not human. I'm not saying I'm not to blame but I'm not sure why I continued to be w/ a MM who can't even give me emotional support but gives me the minimum of what he chooses to give. This is the first year I'm morning of not having my father around for the holidays and yes, I understand he has a family of his own first but, a slap in the face to me once again that he could text me that we "can't hang" the Sat after Christmas but you can't even text me a "Merry Christmas". I can be your fun girl when it suits you but the rest of who I am doesn't matter. I don't even treat my associates the way he does me. Although there has been other times where I've told him how I felt only to be put back in that cycle. I'm done! I have a lot going for myself.. I'm close to closing on my home and looking for a change all around. Someone made a topic on "Whats your breaking point as the OW/OM" or similar to that.. Being tired is mines. Anyone else going through this trust me when you've had enough... You'll know. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Tullyseptember Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Cocochai I'm sorry for the loss of your Father, anytime of the year can be difficult when mourning the loss of a loved one. Christmas though seems to be more of a difficult time. I think you need to tell yourself to take care and make yourself top priority which it sounds like you are making steps to do. An unfulfilling relationship is draining and very tiring. You need that energy for your new home! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blu72 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I received my Xmas greeting yesterday and my Happy new year. Translation: you won't hear from me again till after the New Year. Not that I really expected anything different, but it still stings a little. Sorry for your hurt, but maybe this is your eye opener to finally let it end. I'm getting to that point myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blue963 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Strength to you to get through this once and for all. Great that you are closing on your house. You could move and will have no idea where you went to. That would be perfect. You would have control over the contact. You can do this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Red123 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Getting through the holidays dealing with grief is so hard. I wish you strength. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 As OW we all need to realize that these men have absolutely NOTHING to offer! I'm dong LC because that's where I feel the est. But I know that I'm better than him...he knows it too... You are better than him... Let him go and throw yourself into your new house.... Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I have a lot going for myself.. I'm close to closing on my home and looking for a change all around. Someone made a topic on "Whats your breaking point as the OW/OM" or similar to that.. Being tired is mines. Anyone else going through this trust me when you've had enough... You'll know. Take the closing on your home as a great step in a new direction. Bank on that, and go from there. Changes all around. Try to remain in this positive mind frame right now. Sometimes I know it's really hard. That was my topic. As OW, no matter what the dynamics of our A, I feel like we keep saying "I can do this a little bit longer... a little bit longer..." until one day, BAM. All of a sudden, it reaches a point where we can no longer do it physically or emotionally. Reaching that point is excruciating, but where else is there to go from there? On to better things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Fortunately, I haven't been the OW so I've not been in that position, but I did get emotionally involved with someone who didn't feel the same way and was hedging his bets. The end result is the same, barely available but won't give up on you. I think what makes people give up in the end is the way they feel. If you are feeling tired, ignored, mistreated, pushed aside, emotionally neglected, then eventually that becomes the 'way you are feeling most of the time'. One day, it just hits you that that's the way you will always feel with this guy. It has been thus for weeks/months; therefore what is likely to change? The Holy Grail that most OW seem to hold out for is him leaving his partner. How long do you allow him to take over this (putting aside all feelings of compassion for wife/partner and their family)? There is no reasonable guide. How long have OW waited and at what point in time did they come to the conclusion it was never going to happen? Is there a magic figure in terms of weeks or months? Whatever the figure, it sounds like fatigue has enveloped you over this and he will lose you. A married man who has not left his wife has made a choice already, to defer until he can be brave enough or see a way forward. Do you want to wait until he can? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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