scatterd Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Husband asked for Divorce and I obtained an attorney. For almost three months he refused to tell me why he has ignored me and been rude to everybody in the house. He finally started to tell me why 1- He can not make me happy 2- he gets blamed for everything 3- I belittle him and 4 he can not communicate with me. The funny thing is I have had chronic pain and seen 31 doctors it gets depressing and its hard to get things done like I use to which gets depressing I do not blame him for it. I do not ever remember belittling him and the only thing I have complained about is his snippy tone to me and asked him to please not talk to me that way. Anyway he has resorted to belittling me blaming me for everything and has turned into an abusive person. In the beginning I did not know their was a problem he just flew off the handle and wanted a divorce I cried for a couple of months but as mean as he has been I am now wanting to get a divorce. Every-time I get fed up and want to put the house up for sale and start packing he says hold on till summer because its to cold. I feel like he is trying to get even with me but I think its out of things I did not feel I did. He also said I did not love him which is ridiculous I loved him full hearted now he says he does not love me. He has done something like this before but he was calling another woman and going to her house. He tried to shift the blame on me and was on a 3 month rampage. I am so sad and hurt but I do not think I can handle much more. Do you think he is seeing another woman and is looking for a way out or is he a person that thinks he has a right to punish others. Also how can I handle this until I have money to move? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelygypsy Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Im so sorry for your situation! ! I sympathize because im kinda going through a similiar thing. It almost feels like they are playing a sick game!! My husband tells me he would do anything to get rid of me then i start to try and get out and he tells me im an idiot for thinking thats what he wants!!! Im not one to be able to give u advice but for what its worth i lnow how you feel! Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Who is "everybody in the house"? Children? Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Thanks for the reply s first I am sorry you are going through the same thing it is cruel.For the answer who is everyone.I have my daughter and two grand children here and he has been rude. We had a blow out and I told him to stop. He has mellowed out for the time being but he changes minute by minute. My attorney is getting my papers ready they should be ready soon. I was thinking of being kind about how I went about it but I am so tired of his crap. I do not think I can wait to serve him. Their has been so much damage since he asked for divorce. He did anything he could to ruin my holidays he volunteered to go to another country right after he asked for divorce and left no money for us for thanksgiving so another family member did it.Then a day before Christmas eve he brought some alcohol and perfume to supposedly a guy and his wife at work said he would be gone a hour and a half and came back 9 hours later. Christmas day he has the kids give me a pillow and he gave me a plastic fan and plastic chop sticks. I made sure he got some nice things from them. I think he is having an affair but why so much cruelty if hes the one that wants the divorce. I am giving him what he wants. I have lost so much respect he is a roller coaster mess ready to go off the tracks but wants to go down with him. Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Hugs scatterd! Knowing what I have read in some of your other threads, I'd have to answer your question with a yes. I believe he is seeing another woman. I'm so sorry. We are in a similar boat in one way, we are both in a difficult position financially. I have had to live with family (and am grateful I have that) and live off of my credit cards which is so dangerous. You deserve so much better. He is being cruel and as long as you let him, he will continue to be so. Again, I'm so sorry! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I edited my previous post because I had suggested you get out if you can, but you need to be aware that things you do now can set dangerous precedents. I know in Ca anyway, things like moving out may cause the courts to award the house to him. Also, there are the children to consider. Move carefully in the coming months and always keep in mind that right or wrong, the directions you go will likely be continued in a divorce. I don't know the specifics of your property, obviously, but if you want certain things, you have to make it look like you deserve them by holding on to them. Ken Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I don't think it's fair of him to be stressing you out knowing that you have chronic pain. That in itself is telling that he isn't taking your needs into consideration. A person who truly cared about you would rate your well-being highly on his priority scale. It doesn't sound like he's doing that at all. I don't really think it matters if he's cheating. If he is, that isn't the only way that he's treating you poorly and that's all you really need to know. How does he add to your life? What are his good qualities? Figure those out and decide if he's worth it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scatterd Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 Thanks for the post I am afraid to jump on divorce because I finally found a doctor that could help me, go figure as soon as he asks for divorce I find a good doctor.I have become very distant with him he has proved to be very self centered. I treated him well over the years and he turned in to an emotional abuser. He acts as though he is the one in pain every time I mention something he says what about me. I cant imagine treating someone you have been with for 21 years so badly.I go to the doctor soon if he cant do anything to help me I will be sad,and will get the divorce going.For some reason my husband always has an excuse to put it off. I do not get him and if the OW wants him she can put up with his crap. He did it to me and in time he will surely will do it to her. I am wondering what in the heck happened to him he use to be a good guy. I want to say thanks for the support and kenmore I am sorry you have had to go through this kind of heart ache.I think we will find someone better someday possibly someone with a heart and compassion for another human being. This has been so emotionally painful and it adds to my chronic pain whats sad is he knows this. I hope he feels good about his self I never would have done this to him or anybody else. I wonder what the lesson in this is.LOL:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Start asking for things that help you get on your own. Have you filed divorce papers? Asked the court for support money so you can move out and pay for living expenses and health coverage? Start fresh and new. Link to post Share on other sites
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