Pleasant Surprise Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 This girl I've known for a while and I started to seriously talk about a month ago (every day). Initially I just texted her because I thought she was pretty and decided that I wanted to try out talking to someone new. Eventually I started to flirt with her and I genuinely became interested in her. I heard from a couple of people that she was also into me and I decided that I would press further and maybe try to forge a relationship with this girl. After talking for a couple of weeks I decided to ask her to hang out. She kept saying sure but didn't really follow through with her plans so I thought she wasn't interested and stopped talking to her for like 5 days. Then I noticed that she started to retweet some things like "no message is still a message" and had a feeling it was about me. Next day one of her friends texts me and asks what this girl and I are. Basically I just explain what I told you in a more concise way. Her friend offers to host a gathering where we would both be invited. I'm not a big fan of her friends but the girl convinced me to go. She explained that her parents don't allow her to hang out with boys alone and I like her so I told her I understand but I don't wanna go behind their backs more than once and she assured me she'd talk to them. We hung out and she also told me she thinks I only wanna hang out with her to hook up which is untrue. I knew she wanted to hear that I like her so I said it. In person. I think it surprised her because that's not what high school kids here do lol everything's over text. Anyway we had a deeeep conversation and she's very insecure about me because (in her words) I'm popular and one of the best looking kids in the school and she's not and blah blah blah. I reassured her of how I felt and then she told me she had to get up for her flight to a vacation in 3 hours and went to sleep. She told me she felt a lot better and would keep me updated if we could talk while she was on vacation (not in the country). Since then it's been a couple days and I know she has access to the Internet so iMessage works. she hasn't texted me. I texted her happy New Year and she said aw thanks you too. I'm thinking she's really busy and doesn't wanna talk but I miss her a lot and wanna text her but don't wanna annoy her on vacation. We aren't official yet but I'm gonna change that soon. I don't wanna annoy her on vacation by texting her. Should I wait till she's back to talk or should I just text her? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Sounds to me like her parents are really strict with her and you should look into the her culture's traditions, because they may be planning on selecting her husband for her and not ever letting her date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pleasant Surprise Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Nah, she's Jewish. I don't think arranged marriages are a part of Jewish culture. My dad's Jewish and I've never really heard of that. Since the question being posed is sort of ambiguous, I think I'll restate it in more concise terms: I didn't realize how into this girl I am and I'm scared I'd be bothering her if I reached out to her on vacation. I am interested in a relationship with her, but I don't know how to approach her about talking to her overprotective parents. How should I go about that without nagging her and should I reach out to her on vacation or wait until she's home? Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 IMO you should wait until she's home. Sounds like she perceives some obstacles in the way even if she is interested, already including her parents' controlling attitudes and her own insecurity problems. BUT you got a really positive response in general by speaking with her in person. I think you'll have more momentum going for you if you have the conversation in person. Texting feels about as detached and impersonal as it gets and it will be running up against all of the reasons she might think it couldn't work. If you really dig this gal then it'll be worth it to wait until she's back and have a proper conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I think it nearly always comes off pushy and needy to be the one to contact someone on vacation. It's just my personal opinion, but to me, when someone is on vacation, everything should be up to them, including if they want to stay in touch . When I'm on vacation, I like to be dead to the world for the duration and not have to keep up with anyone or anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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