DDude Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 I started seeing this girl about 2 months ago. Things were going very nicely between us. But there was this one person, her Ex-Boyfriend, who still was in the picture. I asked her to cut herself from her Ex, except occasional phone calls. I was being pretty patient with her, up until the moment when she asked me to take her shopping and then all of a sudden, she tells me that her Ex has a birth day, and she should get him a present, and aksed me if I could help her pick a present. What the hell is that? Either she is very stupid, or she thinks I am stupid and I don't have self respect. What kind of a girl asks her current boyfriend, to go with her, buy a gift for the Ex. So I told her to have a very nice day, wish her Ex a happy birthday, and walked away. Have not seen her or called her since. She keeps emailing me, and leaving messages... My sister thinks I over reacted, but I think, she did not respect me. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby Dygytul Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 Im with you all the way. If my girlfriend would do something like that to me, then i would tell her to get lost also. She is totally disrespecting you and she is some kinda fool to want you to go shopping with her for her ex boyfriend. To me, i think its totally insane for a person to ask something like that. It just makes me wana PUKE!! But its just my opinion. I think you did the right thing!! I started seeing this girl about 2 months ago. Things were going very nicely between us. But there was this one person, her Ex-Boyfriend, who still was in the picture. I asked her to cut herself from her Ex, except occasional phone calls. I was being pretty patient with her, up until the moment when she asked me to take her shopping and then all of a sudden, she tells me that her Ex has a birth day, and she should get him a present, and aksed me if I could help her pick a present. What the hell is that? Either she is very stupid, or she thinks I am stupid and I don't have self respect. What kind of a girl asks her current boyfriend, to go with her, buy a gift for the Ex. So I told her to have a very nice day, wish her Ex a happy birthday, and walked away. Have not seen her or called her since. She keeps emailing me, and leaving messages... My sister thinks I over reacted, but I think, she did not respect me. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
CJ Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 Im with you sister on this one. did you ever stop to think that maybe the two of them are still friends and she was trying to be nice?? maybe she shouldnt have asked you to go, but i dont think you should have gotten so pushy about the subject. i think you should answer her messages and emails, and not be mean about it. im sure she loves you and she was just trying to be nice to her ex. i have had an ex who i am still food friends with, and my current b/f doesnt mind. he's actually his frined now too. so, answer your g/f back and try to work things out w/o blowing things out of proportion. this is just my opinion, so you dont have to pay much attention to it. but being a girl, i kinda know where your g/f is coming from. I started seeing this girl about 2 months ago. Things were going very nicely between us. But there was this one person, her Ex-Boyfriend, who still was in the picture. I asked her to cut herself from her Ex, except occasional phone calls. I was being pretty patient with her, up until the moment when she asked me to take her shopping and then all of a sudden, she tells me that her Ex has a birth day, and she should get him a present, and aksed me if I could help her pick a present. What the hell is that? Either she is very stupid, or she thinks I am stupid and I don't have self respect. What kind of a girl asks her current boyfriend, to go with her, buy a gift for the Ex. So I told her to have a very nice day, wish her Ex a happy birthday, and walked away. Have not seen her or called her since. She keeps emailing me, and leaving messages... My sister thinks I over reacted, but I think, she did not respect me. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 ex's can be a huge bone of contention between people when in a relationship. she obviously has nothing to hide and isn't being sneaky about him being in her life, but i don't blame you for feeling awkward about it. when you meet someone new, you should keep the past where it belongs and not make someone awkward about something that can be potentially threatening to a lot of relationships. or at least respect your current partner enough to minimise contact with the ex. i know some people out there will disagree with me, but i think when you break up, it is time to move on. knowing there is someone in your partners life now who they were once intimate with, doesn't really feel that great. you can't help but wonder if they are over them. i'm all for clean breaks, that's all. it saves a lot of people hassle in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 Your girlfriend is stupid and you overreacted. You simply needed to explain to her a lot more simply in the most basic terms how it is not appropriate to ask a boyfriend to help buy a gift for an ex. Your girl (or ex girl) probably wasn't really thinking or just didn't see anything wrong with what she did (stupidity). While you and I see this as pretty bizarre, she obviously had a different perspective. If you care about her at all, answer her email and explain to her in vivid detail why you feel what she did was wrong. You had already explained to her why she needed to reduce her contact with him. She was pretty close to this guy and one time and sometimes, for some people, it's just hard to totally cut those ties. I don't think this is an offense that warrants termination but be on notice your girl is a taco short of a combination platter. Don't be mean to her, just explain a bit of reality and then encourage her to ask other people just how they feel about what she did. I think 98 percent of people she talks to will think it was pretty nervy to ask you to go with her to pick out a gift for her ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 28, 2001 Share Posted February 28, 2001 Hi there... I really don't feel you overreacted at all. I guess you *could* respond to her emails, and explain to her why her asking you to go help pick a gift for her ex was so weird/insensitive/bizarre/tacky.......but I doubt she's going to see where you're coming from. The fact that she was dippy enough in the first place, to ask your help, she's obviously not too swift (maybe doesn't know too much about relationships, either). Like I said, even if you explain to her how you felt/feel, why her request was inappropriate, I doubt she's going to really "get it"......so do you really need someone like that in your life? Like someone else mentioned, the past is the past.....and that's where it should stay. That's swell that she's been honest with you about her continued contact with the ex, but it just seems rather strange to me. If the ex is such an important part of her life, maybe she should have just stayed with him. I say find a woman who has more brains and tact than this one. Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 1, 2001 Share Posted March 1, 2001 Yeah, finding a lady who is has a little more social grace and gray matter might be the route you should take. Link to post Share on other sites
Victor Posted March 5, 2001 Share Posted March 5, 2001 You did not overreact. I see this problem with my girl's ex also and if she did that with me, then there would be some major problems =P. Link to post Share on other sites
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