Biscous Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 So my mother and father divorced when I was 2-3 years old. I had minimum contact with my father. My mother later met my stepdad when I was 9 and married when I was 12. Throughout the years I have had relatives contact me. A cousin here, or someone that said they know my dad. I'm 31 now and had my father's sister contact me with this message. "Hello My name is [...] and I was wondering are you my long lost nephew if so I would love to meet you." She lives a couple of states away. I'm not sure how I should feel. I am entirely neutral to that side of my family. The family I have has supported me and made me into a great person. I ask, why now? Would it open up new doors for me and resolve things? I'm really not sure. Has anyone had this happen to them? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 When I was trying to get a job in LA 25 years ago, I made my father reconcile with his sister who lives there so she could help me. I had some woman in a bank try to convince me that she was my grandfather's long lost love child but her story didn't add up. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 First ask yourself if there is anything materially to be gained by her meeting you. In other words, rule out she's looking for money or a free place to stay in a popular destination such as NYC or SF, because yes, there are plenty of strangers who will play the relative car for a free vacation. It's unlikely that is the case, but just give it some thought. And then if that's not possible, you can at least put fear of usery aside and only consider whether this is something you welcome or not. Probably she simply feels bad now that she's older and has her own kids that her brother was such a useless ass as to abandon his family. Of course, she may have a secondary motive of hoping to reconcile you two and force him to have a relationship with you and this could be motivated by anything from altruism and good intentions to hoping someone else is there to care for him in his elder years. So just take all this into account and remember you can agree to meet her and still NOT agree for her to force you and your biological dad together, and you can tell her so at any point. If you're a busy person and she seems to want this to blossom into holiday get togethers, you can tell her frankly that you're already overbooked with your real family at holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
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