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why am I unapproachable?


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Ok this is not meant to sound cocky.....I am a single 28 yr old woman and very attractive(from what people tell me). PROBLEM--why do guys not approach me????I do not get it? I have had 2 long term relationships since I was 18. Maybe I never was looking since i had a bf and now I still do not? Am I looking too hard? How do you send a signal that you want to be approached? I am a sweet person, good job, attractive??? Should I make myself uglier?lol

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I was going to give all of these examples of blah blah..

 

BUT LOL instead I'll just say this..

 

It's 2005.. When you see someone out that you're attracted to, approach him.

Don't sit back and wait or hope that he will make contact with you.. he may not.

 

Put yourself out there (so to speak) and miiinnggglleeee :laugh: talk to people, be friendly, ask him about himself.. you may meet find some guys that looked good that turned out to be stupid and you may meet some guys that perhaps weren't drop dead gorgeous but made you laugh and you like being around.

 

The bottomline is... if you want to meet guys then put more of yourself out there, take the risk you're wanting them to make (in approaching you) bet you're not single for long ;)

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guys do not think that is a turn off? to approach them???But, if they do not approach me, I would assume they are not interested? SO why approach them?

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Originally posted by beth5201

guys do not think that is a turn off? to approach them???But, if they do not approach me, I would assume they are not interested? SO why approach them?

 

Why would there be anything wrong with talking to a guy you have an interest in?

I don't know ANY guys who think a woman approaching them is a turn off.. actually they rather like it.

NEVER Assume anything...

Why approach a guy.. because you're interested.

 

Perhaps Beth it is this sort of attitude (if you will) that keeps guys from approaching you to begin with..

IF you're coming off with "I'm all that and you SHOULD approach me and I need not put myself out there" then yeah.. it wouldn't be hard to see why guys wouldn't be down for that and keep thier distance.

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Oh I have no attitude, actaully the quite opposite. I have no self esteem after been thru a lot of emotional brainwashing in the past. I guess I need to work on that first. But, in the future, I guess I will not feel weird about approaching a guy. What do I have to lose I guess?

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Originally posted by beth5201

Oh I have no attitude, actaully the quite opposite. I have no self esteem after been thru a lot of emotional brainwashing in the past. I guess I need to work on that first. But, in the future, I guess I will not feel weird about approaching a guy. What do I have to lose I guess?

 

Sweetheart, you have NOTHING to loose and everything to gain.

First thing to do is to let go of the toxic crap in your life.. the other guy.

You were okay BEFORE you met that guy and you'll be better than okay long after his sorry a** is gone.

 

When you get out with your GF's... don't approach guys with the idea it's going to be a relationship right then and there or that it HAS to go anywhere.. go at it with the idea you're networking and meeting new friends.. if it turns into something more good to go.. if it doesn't you're still okay, met some new friends and have increased social skills.

 

:)

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browneyes22

I'm a guy. If you are very attractive then others may be intimidated by your beauty. If you are attractive, dress well, and carry yourself with confidence then they are really intimidated and think that they have no shot, or that you are too good for them. At your age, you might want to try hanging out at places with an older, perhaps more sophisticated crowd if you don't already. These type of guys will be into girls your age and be less shy than younger guys. If you are not into this type of scene, then I would follow Merin's advice. Pretty soon, once everyone sees that you ARE sociable and approachable then guys will start flocking towards you in fear of missing there shot.

 

Man, women always have the upper hand in this stuff...I tell you. Plus, women are the most beatiful creates on this earth in so many ways. Finding a crowd of guys that realizes this will solve all your problems.

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Thanks! I am trying to become more active in things people my age do. It is tough to move to a new place and meet people my age who are not already married and are good qulaity friends. I know that I will run into someone when I least expect it. I am very modest and actaully have poor self esteem due to a boyfriend telling me a lot of crap. I guess I need to put my confident face on and start mingling! I assume good looking guys are already taken, so I guess they think the same. Whoever reads this, please....I am not trying to brag at all! Just trying to figure this out.

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MassiveAtom

{{{Merin}}}

 

Kudos Browneyes, you nailed it.

 

Guys, (poor sods) ARE deathly intimidated by the "beautiful woman " Even moreso than the confident woman. The beautiful woman is seen by many as a "Dangerous creature" who will hurt you in time. Too bad all these guys never learned their own true value.

 

Beth,

 

I'll tell you this, look for a guy who exudes self confidence. NOT a cocky a$$munch, but a real genuine self-sufficient guy. Maybe he has a past, he might have issues, but nothing too terrible. And say "HI" Don't be all flirtatious, just friendly. Guys CAN read all that hair flipping, face touching stuff pretty readily, so leave that out too. Just be warm and friendly. Ask about something that catches your interest. A watch, a necklace, something you saw him do. Be honest and up front with your interest but not so much like your a Lioness eyeing a wildebeast. LOL!

 

Maybe even try role playing with a guy friend. Be careful you could uncover some latent attraction in him though! LOL!

 

The best is when you're someplace doing your thing and then out of nowhere a woman comes up and says, "Hi, What is that______ you have there?" you fill in the blank.

 

Best of luck!

 

MA

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