Author Kayann Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I have a feeling that if we were neighbours we'd be spending a lot of time together, and drinking hot cups of cocoa in front of some nice fire, at some point. F*u*ck therapy..... Yeah. I know. My therapist had never read Codependent No More. Was only slightly familiar with codependency. And spent a lot of time on the computer emailing other therapists for one thing or another. I think I may have to ditch her and chose that fire and hot cocoa instead ; ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 I'll try that, and also re-read this one during those times. Are you a writer, or what? Another very inspirational and encouraging post. No. I HAVE written, but nothing published... But I've been closely involved with a Counselling organisation, and began training as a Counsellor.... Had to suspend that due to a move abroad. I may actually try to kick-start that again, at some point. Thank you. D'you take Sugar? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kayann Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I prefer mine without, thank you. Training as a Councillor sounds perfect for you. I recommend the kick start. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 (Sent off an email shortly after 'voicing' the thought... I'll keep you posted...! ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kayann Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I have wanted to call him or text him so badly today. Then he called me. I answered. The reception was so bad, the call only lasted a minute. I couldn't even hear him really. I heard, "it was so bad". I'm sure he was talking about us. I'm pretty sure he'd been drinking. I'm glad the reception was bad. I shouldn't have answered the phone but I'm fine, really. When he calls drunk, it reminds me why I left and that sweet man he was when sober (rarely) goes away in my mind. This is so hard, but I'm not crying. I feel numb. I'm living with my again Father who has been watching basketball all day long. It's a gray day, no sunshine and very little to do. If I knew my way around, if I had some friends, now would be a perfect time to meet for coffee and chat away the afternoon...about anything but him. I know that, in time, I will get a life and it will be better than the one I had before. It's a new beginning for me, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kayann Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I prefer mine without, thank you. Training as a Councillor sounds perfect for you. I recommend the kick start. Totally misspelled counselor.....didn't I? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'm sorry for your situation, but he's an alcoholic. He's already married- to booze. Stay away from him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cedar27 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Totally misspelled counselor.....didn't I? If you were referring to a person who is a member of their local government council in the UK, you would have spelled it correctly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Totally misspelled counselor.....didn't I? And we Brits lke to add the extra 'L'...(Counsellor). We probably think it lends more gravitas.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kayann Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Had a dream about him last night. When will this end? I'm obsessed and no amount of advice seems to help. I haven't called or sent a text and it's been so hard. I almost wish he would call, drunk again, to remind me. Why do only the good memories pop into my head? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kayann Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Going to a Codependent No More workshop beginning this month. It is a structured class with the workbook for Codependent No More. I need it, big time. Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels7 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 It will end with time. It's not an over night thing. It has been exactly 9 months since I left my ex and it is finally starting to get better. My mom pointed out to me that the last time I was upset and cried over him was because it was that time of the month if you know what I mean. My hormones and emotions were haywire. Once it ended I went back to being happy and laughing. It's still not always easy and I dread the day I find out he is with someone else. I try not to think about it though and just hope when that happens I will be indifferent to the whole thing. You just have to be strong and make the choice that you want better for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
badpenny Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 So, Kayann, how are things going now? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I left him, my job and our home just to get away from him. Now I seriously regret it. I live for his text or phone calls. I've moved to another state but I cannot get him out of my mind, my heart. He's an alcoholic and I suffer with manic depression. When I left him, I was an inch away from a total break down. It happened when I tried to go back to my home state and even stayed with him for awhile while I was trying to get treatment and heal. He continued to drink but tried to be good to me and help me saying, "you've always been there for me, so I want to be here for you". He only caused me more despair when he drank, which he did every night. I left, once again, to stay with a friend. I got much worse with my mental issues and ended up moving again to another state to live with my again father and get help. Now I long for my life back, every single day. Many days have been spent crying endlessly. No contact? I can't (or won't) do that. I live from text or phone call to text or phone call. He always asks me if I'm better, tells me to get better and reminds me how "hard" it was to live with me. He did call shortly after I got to my father's house and said, "you're the best thing that ever happened to me, I want us back together when you get well, etc." He hasn't said anything like that since. I suspect he was drinking and at a weak moment. Too much happened with us throughout our 10 yr relationship to write about here. I would really appreciate any feedback or advice. Thank you....broken hearted and regretful. Kayann, my ex did some pretty unimaginable things. It's a real sicko. Never thought I could live without him, but I can...esp. when I found out some of the sick things he did. I cut that bastard loose and NEVER took him back, not even as my friend. I once loved him, but now he can just kiss my large ass. Link to post Share on other sites
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